Homing

[Oceantide]

Seventeen years ago today
We lost our precious girl
Our guardian angel baby
Connecting us to our selves
Sending our walls crumbling
Sent to guide our path

Our agony had no name
Our pain confounded the chaplain
You want to join her in Heaven?
I died in utero like she did.
Experiences with no name
Intensifying despair and isolation

You’re past my pay grade, ma’am
I wearily re-activated my search.
The one aborted at age 11
When my agony had no name
When I called to the Lord like David
For the One who Understands

It took us 10 more years.
To find the One who Understands
She is not our soul mate.
She is not our mother.
She is simply one who knows.
And all our selves they knew it.

The moment we found NL
The babies knew her kindness
The martials knew her power
The weary knew her patience
The dead ones knew her courage
The cruel ones knew her clarity

We had never met someone
With whom we could come forward
We cannot max her out
We cannot overwhelm her
Unlike our tipping treetops
She is upright and evergreen

Tenacious like a bulldog
Unyielding like a mountain
Subtle like a river
Armed with skill and knowledge
Presenting as “Nice Lady”
She calls forth strength to strength

And we are that “Nice Lady”
As parts emerge and sharpen
And blend and dance with courage
She mirrors back our fragments
And as Precious Angel guides us
We come home to our selves
4/6/23

[Paper]

(((((Oceantide))))))) Thank you for sharing this. It’s filled with what we know and don’t know, grief and agony, crying out, hope and strength. It’s the journey, low and high. So powerful.

[Scars]

(((((Oceantide)))))))
Thank you for sharing this.It is inspiring!

<3 scars

[manyofus]

This is beautiful! I loved it! Thank you for sharing your story!
Carol Anne

[earthhorse]

I love this poem too Oceantide.

It's amazing how strong and wise humans can be. I think the way you speak of NL is a mirror of your qualities.

I am just so sorry for the loss, the losses of your children. Staying by your side. White Lillie's in my arms.

Love,
EH

[Oceantide]

Dear Paper, scars, Carol Anne, and Earthhorse, thank you all for your words of appreciation and comfort. <3 Oceantide