Looking in again after nearly 2 years away

[Crow]

Hello everyone,

I'm sure there are many new people on this forum now that I do not know. There are people who I considered friends (maybe strange to say I know) here also.

I want to rewind to some of my last interactions on the forum before I left in early to mid 2021. I don't want to focus on my opinions of what happened or who said what or anything like that. What I want to do is to apologise to all the people who were directly involved in the posts, and to Jonesy, Aspen, and all the moderating team. I am sorry.

Looking back in yesterday for the first time since then, and reading back over the posts to try to work through the hurt that I have carried from the way my time here ended, I can see that above all else, I didn't handle things well, and I didn't need to post some of the posts that I did. In hindsight, I can see that I could have left a lot of unnecessary details and opinions out of the posts and still been able to gain the support and responses that I needed. I upset people. I was upset by people too. But as a result of my initial actions and spiralling emotional responses, I alienated myself and others and got caught up in a whole world of hurt. That was my fault.
I have emailed Jonesy yesterday too because I felt that I owed it to her in particular.

With time and different perspectives away from the emotional, trauma filled reactive posts of mine, I see that I was wrong. Again, I am sorry to you all. I need to take responsibility for my actions. And although many may say that it isn't necessary, and that it is long past, I believe it is right to make things right.

I am not sure if I will be staying or dipping in and out or just passing through. But isurvive has been the first step in my healing journey, and those who regularly supported me here have been part of my healing. If this place didn't exist, I don't think I would be where I am with my healing journey.
Thank you everyone.

Crow

[Paper]

Hello Crow,

I don’t have time to write much right now but I want to say welcome back. I came here some months ago, I can’t remember. I’m sorry things got difficult. That has happened to me in my life too. I’m glad you’re here.

[Oceantide]

Hello Crow, I joined about 2 years ago (Mar 2021) so don't know what you're referring to specifically, but it sounds like you have a different perspective today. I'm glad for you and that you have continued growing and healing. I'm glad you're here. Take care, Oceantide

[Crow]

Hi Paper,

I hope that you are finding this place a special one—it has was for me in the time that I spent here. This place was the first place that I could name my abuse... to process things... and to receive such love and kindness from others who knew and understood some of the hurts.

Thank you for welcoming me back.

Crow

[Crow]

Hello Oceantide,

I remember your name! Thank you for your kind words and welcome.
It doesn't matter what I am referring to. What is important to me in life is recognising when we have made mistakes, and trying to make good... to own up and address them. That is the sole purpose of my original post in this thread. Some people mess up or hurt people, but then carry on as if nothing ever happened. I didn't want to come back here and act like nothing happened. Yes, I want to draw a line and move forward without dragging it all back up, but I owe it to all here to know that I recognise my mistakes.

I appreciate your kind words Oceantide.

Crow

[Jonesy]

Hi Crow

It's nice to see your name - thank you for your words.
I hope you are doing ok and that you can find your place here again

[quixote]

Hi Crow,
Welcome back.

[Crow]

Thank you Jonesy. Early days, but I'll take my time and sit on the outskirts maybe. I have also learned that I must pace myself in life and on the forum—something I didn't do much of when I used this place before. I always wanted to help others, but often left the tank empty when it came to self care.
Appreciate you replying.

Crow

[Crow]

Thanks for the welcome back, quixote.

Crow

[Scars]

Dear Crow,
Welcome back! I don't know the details, but Like you, I believe in trying to right my wrongs. It is a brave thing you are doing.
scars