Survivor, Trying to Figure out Just Exactly How to Start

[Gurglesnap]

Greetings,

I am not just a survivor, it still happens and I am a middle aged man. Since mum passed away not that long ago, I have this crazy aunt that just shows up at MY house anytime she likes. She tells me such wonderful and warm things, allow me to give you a few examples; You were a mistake, You should never have been born, Your mother did not love you nearly as much as you think she did. That is, real fucking news to me, seeings out of all of them, my adopted brother and my half sister, I seem to have been the one that she left everything to. I suppose she did that because she despised me, just as I am sure she moved back to the states to help me through cancer round number one and did not leave afterwards. She passed as I was recovering, and it is awful to say but sort of wish the cancer would have done its job then. Now, it is well into round two and does not look good. I have decided early next week, once I get some documentation from my psychologist, to get a restraining order against her and don't care if I ever see her again.
I almost died of cancer, had the atrocities happen to me when I was a child, was almost killed during military service. Later, dedicated myself to school and had a job less than 1% of the country would even be considered for. What a waste of cells, I guess? She is 83 years old and a walking force of hatred and it always seems to be aimed right at me as I am sick. That bitch can age into oblivion, where she deserves to be, maybe I will get to see that. From here on out, anyone that treats me badly, I am going to use my considerable resources to make things most difficult on them. I don't care who it is, I am not going out this way and I am over being run over. I don't have to use violence, I have so many contacts and resources, that it can make for a really bad day. I have been mistreated all of my life, and my academic career and work is all that I enjoyed. Because of exposure worries, I don't even have the job anymore, so as I wait to go, it won't be on these fucking terms. There are going to be so really shocked people in the next short bit and I want to see the looks on their faces as it happens.
I am a good person and am averse to causing people trouble, but you know what? They sure as hell don't seem to mind, so I have to give them a reason not to. I have already started and it breaks my heart to have to become this way. I am just not taking anymore shit.....................PERIOD!

[Scars]

Dear Gurglesnap,

RAGE ON.

not taking anymore shit.....................PERIOD!

GOOD FOR YOU.

i'm standing right beside you in this battle
scars

[poodledoodle]

Hello Gurglesnap.

If I had an aunt like that, I'd call in an exorcist. Maybe hold up a crucifix to her face, it allegedly works with vampires. Can she get her head to do a 360 spin? Wow...I'm so sorry you have had to deal with so much pain in your life, as I'm sure you feel the same way though....

I was lucky, I had a mom who really did love me and a dad who was responsible. My aunts and uncles for the most part were okay, though only my one aunt talks to me, the others pretty much shut me out once my dad died several years ago. They all live out of state anyway, except my one aunt. I'm sorry you have had to go through having cancer, that is a tough one on top of everything else you have carried.

My husband (probably) has cancer, he was angry at me this morning and trying to pick a fight, but I just let it pass over me now instead of fighting back (too many holes in the wall, ha ha!). After he blew off steam he told me he feels like he's not getting any better. He won't get tested or anything since he doesn't trust MDs (neither do I, since they helped to kill both my parents), so I've been buying and making Essiac as well as supplements for him for about 2 years or so. He's a bit of a hypochondriac and does tend to exaggerate at times, but he's all I have, except for my kids. He's basically a decent guy. I only have one sister, whom I don't trust, she's a total narcissist. The only time she showed any interest was when I was going through bad times, and she could hardly hide her glee. Without my husband, I don't know what I'd do, but just take one day at a time because nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. With me, I just have to learn to trust in God because you can't rely on anyone else.

There really are good people in this world, but it can be hard to find them. I went through a lot of my life despising humanity (working retail jobs around the holidays can do that, ha ha). I don't know if anything I can say can help you, but when I was fighting against something or wanted something to "happen" in my life and it wasn't doing what I wanted, I would stop trying to use my own efforts. Then, it seemed if I stopped trying so hard, God would step in and change things. I don't know your beliefs, but it worked for me.

I wish only good things for you, that you are able to heal, and feel peace, relief and happiness, despite the twisted horrible things you have been through.

[Redisfinallyfree]

Hi Gurglesnap,

I’m thinking about you and hoping your evil auntie has stopped bothering you and that you’re living in peace and are well. You’re not alone.
Redisfinallyfree