Gabor Mate - "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts"

[Maxie]

I have Gabor Mate's book about early-childhood-trauma and abuse and addiction, but I can barely crack it open and read. He seems to have the most solid un-flinching compassionate understanding of early-childhood sexual abuse as it relates to addiction. I forgot the title of the book. I think he's a Canadian doctor. I'll go see if I can find book. Found it: "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts". Huge heavy book, many pages, tiny print. I can't possibly read it.

[there]

Maxie,
Yeah, tackling a huge book can seem like climbing Mt Everest.

I've watched many of his talks on YouTube. I know that is his book. Some of the talks are long, some less so.
There is a talk w that title also.
Like with any speaker or guru, you can take what you need and leave the rest.

Just an idea.

[Watercolor]

Hi Maxie!

Just looked over on Amazon. That is quite a tome.

Might not be the right time to read in his book?

Another couple of thoughts are scanning through a chapter, so you zoom through dense, unappetizing portions and maybe land on some interesting spots and just read those.

Could keep it in the restroom to read one page and close it back.

Or maybe it's not the book for you. Could have looked great initially and later, not so much.

[Maxie]

there, thanks so much for your reply (just found it)!! Oh I'm glad you've seen his talks on Youtube! I find him the most insightful person on childhood abuse/trauma, and the long-term effects it has on people. He's loaded with compassion and understanding!

Watercolor, thanks so much for your reply - I just found it!! What a great idea to just flip through the book, read a page here and there, I will try that - Yeh, it's a "tome"!! I purchased the book a couple years ago in a big rush after seeing him on Youtube, thinking "THIS GUY UNDERSTANDS!!". Now, I realize that his videos alone provide the priceless insight into childhood abuse.

[Watercolor]

I'm glad to hear of the author. He's not been familiar to me and I'm an avid YouTube watcher. Though I don't always have the capacity to view heavier things about trauma, especially recently.

I have a little adage and I don't remember and apply it to myself nearly enough. When I discover I can't do something, to try not to get frustrated and stay stuck right there. But instead to fall back and act on what I CAN do on the topic. Usually for me, that amounts to biting off a smaller chunk. In fact I could use that principle in an area of my life right now LOL.

[Maxie]

Watercolor, I appreciate your reminder to use that approach. I forget, and fall back into all-or-nothing thinking. I heard someone once describe it as the "Swiss Cheese Method" - When you feel something is too much to take on, just "poke holes" in it for a while!

[Watercolor]

I haven't heard that analogy before. It's a good visual!

[there]

Maxie, Wc, haha,
'tome' was what I'd been thinking, too!
such a a great word.
I've learned some new tried and true methods...the 'small chunk approach', and the 'Swiss cheese strategy'!

[Maxie]

Gabor Mate talks about how sexual abuse to an infant from a loved parent robs the child of his/her self-love b/c the child automatically (survival) must think of the parent as "good" and therefore the child thinks his/herself as "bad". Mate talks about how, out of all animals, humans are born with the most immature (undeveloped) brains, making us more vulnerable to trauma we aren't able to process/handle as a more mature brain would. This causes life-long poor self-esteem, susceptibility to abuse from others, difficulty in ever finding success, substance abuse, depression, etc.

[Watercolor]

Certainly sounds applicable. All of the above.