back awi

[awi]

Hi,
This is I think year 20 since I started my healing journey. My life has changed so much. I moved out of home when my parents passed away. My new place is very peaceful and away from the toxic part of my family. It took years to realize they were not good for my life and a few more to have the rest of the family respect my boundaries. I am a survivor of CSA from three people I grew up with. My health deteriorated a lot after looking after my parents. I had been a carer since I was 11. All my pets I had have gone to pet heaven and yes I got a couple of new ones. They keep my life happier. I dared go to therapy for a year and it did help me sort things out better. The T wasn't very qualified and did make mistakes. But all in all it was a good thing to do. It kept a distance between me and the people who had damaged my life. It is a space to catch ones breath and start to breathe and think again. Not be frozen in time and space. Dissociation became less common. Night terrors ended when the main perp passed away. I will share more later.
a

[Jonesy]

Hi awi

Welcome back. Sounds like you have worked hard and made some solid progress

[Paper]

Hello awi, glad to hear that you have a new peaceful home and no night terrors now, and I am sorry about the loss of your pets and glad you have new ones. They can really be a big support. I have cats right now and they're glad when I come into a room, they make small noises welcoming me, and that's just when I come back from the kitchen. Can relate to taking years to realize things as you did about toxicity and boundaries, and relate to CSA and to having a therapist who wasn't qualified enough. I've taken some good from the experiences too, though I need time still to process and recover from all that went on then. You've been through a lot just from what you wrote here and I'm glad your hard work over the years has brought some good things to you. And welcome back. I'm pretty sure I wasn't here when you were here last, glad we're here now.

[awi]

Hi awi

Welcome back. Sounds like you have worked hard and made some solid progress

Thank you so much Jonesy. So glad this safe place is still here. It means lots for someone to notice some progress. Some days are better than others. Always taking it each step at a time. To start with it felt like one step forward and three back. In any case it is always moving forward, up and above our own circumstances. It really is.
A

[awi]

Hello awi, glad to hear that you have a new peaceful home and no night terrors now, and I am sorry about the loss of your pets and glad you have new ones. They can really be a big support. I have cats right now and they're glad when I come into a room, they make small noises welcoming me, and that's just when I come back from the kitchen. Can relate to taking years to realize things as you did about toxicity and boundaries, and relate to CSA and to having a therapist who wasn't qualified enough. I've taken some good from the experiences too, though I need time still to process and recover from all that went on then. You've been through a lot just from what you wrote here and I'm glad your hard work over the years has brought some good things to you. And welcome back. I'm pretty sure I wasn't here when you were here last, glad we're here now.

Thank you so much. It means lots to me. I think we can always heal more and more. Like good things there is no limit to it. Rather different from what I would it like the first years. I felt stuck and as if this recovery thing would define me as if I had a sickness and everyone were to run if they knew. It is a bit difficult to know who to trust and not with this part of our stories. Which aren't stories but true fact. I am sorry you have experienced similar bad things. So glad you have chatty pets. They are the best and can tell our mood sometimes before we can express it. Nice meeting you friend.
A