Narcissistic parents changing as they get older

[mydha]

Has anyone had experience of trying to reestablish relationship with narcissistic and abusive parents when older and found that their parent seemed to have changed quite a bit for the better? My dad still denies CSA which drives me absolutely crazy and we can't have a relationship as a result, but for a while while I was going along in denial about that I felt we were getting somewhere in having a relationship and he seemed very different from how he was when I was a child. Still mostly self-absorbed etc. but he had more room for me to have separate feelings and wants and think differently to him... idk it was weird and unsettling and I can't understand. He still minimizes the abuse growing up and rationalizes/justifies it in his own way, but I did manage to get an apology at least about some things. Idk, I'm so confused who is he?

[Oceantide]

mydha, IDK, but my suggestion would be to detach big-time and stay curious (as you seem to be).

My own narcissistic mother seems to not have changed one bit, based on my most recent contact with her. On the other hand, my ex-husband is a different flavor of narcissist. He seems to change how he presents to my young adult kids. To me (and apparently to them) the changes seems instrumental. They've told me they don't trust it when he acts one way, then a while later acts in another, seemingly more humane way.

Wishing you well, Oceantide

[Freedomtobe]

I get you! my parents aren't as bad now that I'm not home- Married and I'm almost not sure I happened as I remember... then one action will be mean or harsh and I'll be like I knew it happened... maybe...