One happy moment, every day

This is a place to discuss grounding techniques and self-care strategies.

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joyagain
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Posts: 238
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2023 4:59 pm

Re: One happy moment, every day

Post by joyagain »

This is a little bit "crazy" but I'm happy because I could freely pee today. :lol:
Let me explain. I had the rest of my cervical tissue removed yesterday in surgery. It went well. I'm home resting.
I had complications though this time (had first surgery last April) afterwards, first feeling a high level of urinary tract pressure. When that finally resolved, it was then high level of burning to urinate.
I noticed it got a little better in the middle of the night when I got up to go.
But, then this morning upon waking, I barely registered discomfort. What a relief.
It made me feel happy, a bit elated even.
"Doubt is a beautiful thing. I think when faith is true, it can be under scrutiny. And I think that's the greatest value of true faith is being able to question it objectively and still believe it." Tyler Henry
joyagain
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Posts: 238
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2023 4:59 pm

Re: One happy moment, every day

Post by joyagain »

My one happy moment from yesterday was experiencing the confirmation that while I was approaching a difficult situation in a vulnerable state, I was doing so accurately. That gave me a bit of a boost of confidence. That made me happy.

As a survivor of incest (emotional and sexual abuse) and intergenerational trauma, I have at times struggled with confidence.
Now single and getting older, starting to have health issues, and not as strong, not as independent, and low-income ads more experiences and feelings of being vulnerable and shakes confidence.

Most recently I just had out-patient cervical surgery, the second time, (pre-cancerous) on Tuesday. Also, I've recently experienced severe eye-floaters in my left eye. It's so bad, so blurry now, that 3/4 of my vision in my left eye is obscured. Went to the eye doctor, supposed to get better on it's own over time.

I had Wednesday to rest and recover from the surgery, but a standing appointment the following day to drop off my vehicle that had been misfiring and needed a new ignition coil and mechanic found had a crack in the radiator over-flow tank that needing to be replaced.
That wasn't cheap. I needed it running well for my long-standing dental appointment the next day, yesterday.

I got a lot going on - all at once!

So yesterday, enroute, about half way there, I started to see smoke coming out of the hood, and pulled over immediately. Ugh

My hood of my 2006 Jeep Liberty is extremely heavy and the pistons to hold it up don't work anymore, so I use a pvc pipe that I keep with me to keep it open. I probably shouldn't have been lifting that myself after surgery, but you do what you gotta do if you think it's within reason. I did.

I saw how the new brand new radiator over-flow tank was leaking out one of the new hoses attached to it and while there was still some fluid in it, it wasn't at the level it should be.

What to do? Don't have road side service. What to do?

Quickly, I thought how the woman that rents a room in my house from me had still been there when I left, and that she has to drive this way on her way to taking care of her mother. Quick called, asked her if she had left or would be coming this way and could bring water. Yes! And that made me happy! She's been such a support for me, having driven me for the surgery, and then the mechanic as of lately, and now this. That made me happy.

And while that was one thing that did make me happy, another thing made me even happier.

I thought through and walked through a plan. Next, I cancelled the dentist appointment. Called the mechanic and left a message,

Since, he didn't answer with any wise advice, I planned to fill up the tank and drive straight to him, 10+ miles.
My renter-friend on the phone en-route (I'll call her Susan) said she would follow behind me instead of going on to see her mother.


Since, It had been over a half an hour by then and it was cooled down to the touch, I decided to try to open the cap before she got there.
I couldn't get it to come off. I shouldn't have kept trying to struggle with it - my stomach area muscles, are feeling not quite normal after having had the surgery. I thought then about getting some help from someone stronger. Besides just having had the surgery, I'm 59 and Susan's 63, maybe she could get it or maybe we could use some one who's younger and / or stronger help.

There was only one house there nearby. I tried their inter-com speaker at their gated residence. Finally, a man responded and said no, it could be dangerous dealing with it being hot, and that I should call someone else. Hm...grr. That irritated me.
And, momentarily, I felt self-critical in response that I don't have the money to just call up a roadside service like he had stated.

Again though, I calmed myself.

I thought then that it was probably hard to remove the cap because it was new and a tighter-fit. I had removed the old one before more than once. While it had been a little hard, you have to push down and turn and it's located up by the windshield and I'm small in reach, it had been possible. Then, as I was messing with it, I discovered that there was a pin-hole on the backside of the thin hose next to where it clamped to the tank and it was wet.

Now, I was worried that even if I re-filled it, it might not make it to the mechanics without over-heating again.
I guessed maybe I could watch it on the drive and pull over and repeat the process if need be, but geeesh, but stressed over that idea since I can't even get the effin cap off.

Calmed myself down again, looking down and across the road is a Dollar General and then farther a gas station. Well, I thought maybe I can get some one younger and stronger to help with the removing the cap anyways. BUT then, I'm remembering how back in the day my ex-husband ,who fixed some small issues on our vehicles, and some of what he would do to fix them. I thought hm, wouldn't be that hard to detach the hose, cut it and re-clamp it. Looked and seen it was plenty long enough. It was thin and soft enough. I remember I had a travel tool kit with a multi-purpose tool that had a knife. I thought boy, if only I was younger and or feeling such - only a short few years ago, I would have been up there standing on the bumper doing it with confidence. And, in younger days, I'd have guys pulling over asking to help, and oft-times wanting something in return - kinda glad that no longer seems to be the stress.

So, next I called my mechanically inclined son, hoping he might be working nearby. But since he builds houses, he can be working anywhere within three counties. He answered up on the third story scaffold and over another 25 miles away, but he listened to my accounting and thought-processes and confirmed I was thinking accurately about it all and was sorry he couldn't come help but to keep him posted what I'd come through on.

Soon, Susan arrived and she tried to take off the cap, but no luck. Well, it confirmed though it wasn't just me.
I had wondered all along if whether maybe I was struggling with it because I was in a bit of stress. Sometimes when I am, things just don't work. Later when I am calm, they do. I showed her the hole in the hose, and told her what I figured out, and how I tried to get help but hadn't. She said she'd drive over to the Dollar General and see if she could get us some one younger and/or stronger. She was back with a young man in pretty short order. He struggled with it too but got it off. He was agreeable to the idea of removing and cutting and reattaching the hose - no problem Susan slipped him a $20 - and though he refused - she insisted. I later reimbursed her. He refilled it with our water. Fixed. I got help and some from a kind and courteous stranger that wanted nothing in return and that made me happy.

I got to the mechanics without any issue. I left it there for the rest of the afternoon, picked up and he reassured me that it was fine and safe to drive into town for groceries. Ah, man on the way back home, it started to smoke again, this time a leak on the front side of the hose!!! But, I made it home. Son is coming over to repair it enough to bring it back to the mechanics on Monday.

I'm whooped but I did strengthen my confidence to get through things now that I am feeling ever more vulnerable.
Happy to do so because I imagine it's just the beginning of more to come....
happy to have a space and place to share and reflect.

Thanks isurvivor support crew
joyagain
"Doubt is a beautiful thing. I think when faith is true, it can be under scrutiny. And I think that's the greatest value of true faith is being able to question it objectively and still believe it." Tyler Henry
joyagain
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Posts: 238
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2023 4:59 pm

Re: One happy moment, every day

Post by joyagain »

I'm committing to keep my posts in this topic shorter.

One happy moment from yesterday was experiencing the synchronicity that one of my (adult) sons knew what a wild weed in my lawn was called. I didn't. Just simply Wild Lavendar. And, me wondering if it too, was edible, like the other three weeds that I have recently discovered were and have since added to my daily greens / salad. Crazy silly fun. I don't know it's just something interesting that's kind of new in my life, edible landscape. So, now pretty much daily, I go out in my lawn and pick a bit of Portaluca, Dandelion, Wood Sorrel and now Wild Lavendar - clean it with a little vinegar water, rinse and dry, and add it to my lunch salad. It makes me happy to discover that I can provide for myself something nutritious for free that easy when I used to not know I could do so. I've also had a "brown-thumb," though I'm changing that, so it's even funner to think I don't have to grow these, they'd been growing there all along!

I'm guessing, there's some kind of top-shelf metaphor here that I'll discover some day that applies to the so-called "weeds" within the garden of my soul!

joyagain
"Doubt is a beautiful thing. I think when faith is true, it can be under scrutiny. And I think that's the greatest value of true faith is being able to question it objectively and still believe it." Tyler Henry
joyagain
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Posts: 238
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2023 4:59 pm

Re: One happy moment, every day

Post by joyagain »

Well I am happy that I shared my csa story here in "Our Stories" forum section over the weekend; even though doing so evoked for me remembering and considering all kinds of things that triggered a spectrum of difficult emotions, and some confusion, and a little spiraling, and some negative self-talk. Over all, and with some time and space, and more reflection. I'm satisfied that I did it. I'm proud of myself. I'm looking forward to sharing more when I feel ready to. I'm so happy that I feel this is a safe and supportive place to do so. And, that all of those difficult emotions have receded, and I've since found pleasure and satisfaction in doing and focusing on my life. And yet none of them were to escape and run-away from facing, but out of self-care, self-kindness and being a friend to my own self.

joyagain
"Doubt is a beautiful thing. I think when faith is true, it can be under scrutiny. And I think that's the greatest value of true faith is being able to question it objectively and still believe it." Tyler Henry
joyagain
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Posts: 238
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2023 4:59 pm

Re: One happy moment, every day

Post by joyagain »

So happy I got to put together new puzzles with my four year old grand-daughter today! Glad, I followed my ideas and intuitions, to go to that store with her and see if we could find one - found two for $3.00 a piece at 50% off and when they didn't come up at the correct price, the clerk for some reason insisted on helping me out, and sold them to me for .75 a piece, as well as, the doll that she LOVES for $2.50. Incredible deal, so satisfying to be able to do that for her. And, it was just a perfect afternoon together, making memories! Love that little girl. And so much fun to have some one-on-one time together, particularly since she's had to share attention now with her two younger siblings. Good day!

joyagain
"Doubt is a beautiful thing. I think when faith is true, it can be under scrutiny. And I think that's the greatest value of true faith is being able to question it objectively and still believe it." Tyler Henry
Scars
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Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2022 2:59 pm

Re: One happy moment, every day

Post by Scars »

Hello, joyagain, I love your thread.
My happy moment yesterday was finding where I had made an error in my tax return that meant instead of paying more taxes I will get a refund. Short story, but a huge stress reliever.
scars
A scar is the tattoo of a triumph to be proud of. It says the hurt is over and the wound is closed. It means you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward. There is a beauty in my scars that I can see now.
there
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Re: One happy moment, every day

Post by there »

Hi!

sunnny rays stretching through windows in new apartment
All women are beautiful. Period.
I deserve better than survival.
Oceantide
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Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2021 12:20 am

Re: One happy moment, every day

Post by Oceantide »

Yeah, there! That makes me sooo happy to hear.

Today I wrote a poem. That made me happy.
LittleChalupa
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Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2023 8:35 pm

Re: One happy moment, every day

Post by LittleChalupa »

Got paid and was able to finally get bank account back out of the negative and bosses went home early today so all I have to do is man the phones and I'm watching Lizzie McGuire and eating guacamole and chips.
Last edited by Jonesy on Fri Jun 16, 2023 9:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed MT to NT, for no triggering detail
gods_child
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Re: One happy moment, every day

Post by gods_child »

I realized in the middle of making a post (elsewhere on this site) that I was sharing something I learned in therapy as if it were common knowledge to me. I didn't have to look it up, I didn't draw a blank, I just said it as a part of something I find helpful. I think my therapist would be proud. I am grateful and happy to see something indicative of positive outcomes of all my hard work with my new therapist. Also writing this here technically qualifies as one of my gratitude exercises. Win-win! - gc
Member since Oct 3, 2007
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