Not ok

[igrowflowers]

not so okay today.
ever since I told my enabling parent that I remember her abuse and enabling, i have been persona non exista.
it hurts when i think about it.
i have lost 9 pounds since making it clear to them that i will not take it any more.
i think i am obese because they made me feel invisible all my life.
i am getting better and learning that the only person who can take care of me...
is ME.

[Jonesy]

Hi igrowflowers

I see you, thanks for sharing those words.
How you doing?

[Paper]

I think it’s brave of you to have told them, igrowflowers. I’m sorry you’re getting this response from them and sorry it hurts right now. I’m glad you’re getting better. At some point in the last few years I came to a similar conclusion. I’d always heard how I was my own worst enemy and I decided that wasn’t true. I did things to protect myself that made it look like that, but I was my friend. I started trying to listen to what’s inside, which is taking practice because I’d tuned it out the best I could all my life up until then. I’ve been trying to learn how to take better care of myself too. It does help.

[Oceantide]

I’m sorry it hurts to be shut out by your parent and yet I’m glad you’re standing for yourself. It happened. You didn’t cause it. Being invisible doesn’t make it go away. Reclaiming your truth helps validate your reality and life. You’re courageous and loving to yourself. I see you and am proud of you.

[Scars]

Hello, igrowflowers,

i am getting better and learning that the only person who can take care of me...is ME.

I am late to the conversation, as usual, but just wanted to say I am glad you have found your voice. Stay strong. Don't let anyone wear you down. Silence is the friend of abuse, your voice is a weapon against it.

How are you doing today?

scars

[igrowflowers]

Doing better. Thanks everyone who posted. I managed not to quit my job this week and last week.
I have PTSD and it means I run away and abandon jobs when I get panic attacks at work.
This job I am taking "one day at a time". I made it for three weeks as of tomorrow.
I also had to be a mandated reporter of abuse, again. And cried at work, again.
We are out here and we all do matter. The fact that you all survived means that I can keep trying to, as well. Keep not giving up.
Thanks Jonesy, Paper, Oceantide, and Scars.
I am fighting this with you and for you. I'm the person you sat next to on the bus who looked like I had it all together. I don't, but I'm better today than yesterday.
Just thanks.

[Jonesy]

Hi igrowflowers

Thanks for checking back in with us. Proud of you for digging in, it’s not easy. And I so understand this…

I'm the person you sat next to on the bus who looked like I had it all together. I don't, but I'm better today than yesterday.

You got this, one step at a time

[quixote]

igrowflowers,
You know the truth. No one here will try to convince you otherwise.

[steregar]

Doing better. Thanks everyone who posted. I managed not to quit my job this week and last week.
I have PTSD and it means I run away and abandon jobs when I get panic attacks at work.
This job I am taking "one day at a time". I made it for three weeks as of tomorrow.
I also had to be a mandated reporter of abuse, again. And cried at work, again.
We are out here and we all do matter. The fact that you all survived means that I can keep trying to, as well. Keep not giving up.
Thanks Jonesy, Paper, Oceantide, and Scars.
I am fighting this with you and for you. I'm the person you sat next to on the bus who looked like I had it all together. I don't, but I'm better today than yesterday.
Just thanks.

hang in there, I was about to quit my job last friday too due to panic attacks but after talking with a trusted coworker I was able to "hang in there" and I am glad I did. I don't have much in savings and couldn't afford to lose yet another job.

[poodledoodle]

I give you a lot of credit for voicing what happened to you. That takes a lot of courage! Even though you can't control their reactions, you told them the truth.
Good for you!! I'm proud of you...I can't even do what you did.