Introduction - Honey

[Honey]

Hello,
I am new and am taking the suggestion to do an initial post here, an introduction if you will. I have to say that the Intro post is very eye opening per se, but so very very true. I know I am not always so good with wording things so please bare with me and I will never be offended if asked what I mean.. I know we are all here for the same reason in one way or another and that is what makes this a little easier for me to do. I, for the first time in my life, am trying to deal, face, overcome whatever terminology it is, all the trauma I've been through in my life.

In short without specific details here. I am an Adult Woman whom was in and out of the foster system as a child. I have been through multiple definitions of abuse from childhood into adulthood. I have severe anxiety, and I do have depression as well. Recently there have been a lot of things in life with the Loss of family to situation that triggered consistent memories/nightmares of a specific trauma. I have been searching for someplace, something to help me. For the first time I realize I need to talk to someone who understands, who knows what I'm feeling, what I've been through, what I'm going through. I have a great support system but it's hard to talk to someone that can only listen and give you a shoulder to cry on....

When I came across isurvive, everything I read I felt I belonged here and that this is where I could finally be able to heal or at least learn from people how to better deal with certain things..

I have yet to figure out the correct forums.. How does one choose when they have been subjected to multiple forms?
Thank you for accepting me and thank you for offering a safe place.

[Rosahope]

Welcome here Honey!

[Oceantide]

Welcome, Honey! I'm glad you found isurvive. On isurvive people seem to share in multiple forums, though over time they may find one that they most resonate with. Posting in multiple forums or just one place is fine. This is a safe place to share and explore what feels right to you. Take care, Oceantide

[Serenity]

Hi and welcome to isurvive, Honey. Oceantide's advice re: forums is perfect. Post wherever you feel comfortable posting. Whether that means having multiple threads across multiple forums, or just picking one forum for now. It's absolutely up to you.

With care,
Serenity

[Scars]

WELCOME 2 ISURVIVE, HONEY!
you belong here
sending you an extra dose of love for having endured foster care
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i will look for you wherever you post

scars

[Jonesy]

Hi Honey

A very warm welcome from me too

[Redefined]

Hello honey
I've been here about two and a half weeks now. And, I would like you to know, that yes, you are in a perfect place being here at I survive.

Cyber hugs

[quixote]

Honey,
Glad you found us. It can be helpful to read posts in several forums to get a sense of how you feel in each forum.

[Honey]

Thank you all so very much, your words are very warm and lower the anxiety of being here. I have read through of what others have been through and posted. I honestly just don't know where to even start to let it out.. The beginning of being an multiply abused child or the abusive relationship I allowed myself to remain in or what triggered vivid details. of memories I suppressed of something that has led me to the nightmares and whirlwind of emotions daily that I used to think I had under control.. I mean yes, the feeling of knowing you're not the only one and that there are others who can listen and understand is amazing and then I think there are so many others out here that I know went through worse. I have lived with this and dealt with my mental health for most of my life on my own so other than talking with my best friend and a couple of family members, I really don't know how to go about starting. Sometimes I feel like a bottle of shaken soda ready to explode and others I'm not sure I even want to get dressed for the day much less talk/vent to anyone. Maybe its part of how I grew up. With my birth mom you were rarely seen or heard unless she called on you or was a bottle deep with friends and wanted to show how beautiful and talented her children were. ... People where I'm from that know my family and what myself and siblings ( mainly my older sibling ) had to endure growing up and know the path each of our lives has taken us or that we have chosen to take, are always saying my older sibling and I should write a book and tell our story.. I could write for hours just telling a small portion of life with my birth mother.. And my mind goes in a million directions because there is so much in there.. Sorry for the jabbering..

[Rowena]

Hello Honey,
Thank you for sharing. I've been here a few weeks now and post mostly here in the open forum as I'm still learning how to navigate my way through the site.
Although I never grew up in foster care, your words of how you have felt and been treated resonated with me immensely. Your analogy of the soda and then followed by not wanting to get out of bed struck me to the core.
I hear you and share those feelings with you. I too have been looking for a place where others have these thoughts.
Please take comfort in knowing you are not alone and jabbering is exactly what we need to do. This is a safe place to do so.
Hugs,
Rowena