Why did I believe the lies they told to me?
Why did I agree that I was bad?
Why did their words, that at first I knew were untrue,
Make their way inside my mind and hurt me through and through?
Why did their lies affect most everything about me?
Why did they so quickly become my new reality?
Why did it take me so long to live my way to the truth?
Why could I not see them even when I was holding the proof?
Why have they never had to answer for what they did to me?
Why do they get to be happy and get away completely free?
Why is the healing so tiring and such hard work for me?
Why do abusers not suffer, not even eventually?
Why do they not have nightmares or feel the smallest pangs of guilt?
Why does anyone love them? Why do they get to laugh?
Why do their bodies not suffer with chronic pain like mine?
Why are their days not all cloudy instead of bright with sunshine?
Why did they ever want to do such awful things?
Why did they never see what they were doing to me?
Why did I love them when what they did should have made me hate?
Why did I think I was awful and that all of them were so great?
Why is it taking so long to move past wanting to know why?
Why do I still have tears and so often want to cry?
Why do I still have anger that I am misdirecting at me?
Why am I so afraid that without this there is nothing left of the real me?
Just wondering stuff sort of out loud, not really asking for answers.
Thanks for listening.
Redisfinallyfree
WHY?
Moderator: Jonesy
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Redisfinallyfree
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- Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2022 6:37 pm
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Redisfinallyfree
- Member
- Posts: 673
- Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2022 6:37 pm
Re: WHY?
Hi Redefined,
Writing about what happened to me and posting here are the ONLY things that have helped me. Talking about it to people, for me, has been more harmful than helpful. Writing has made an incredible difference. It is THE reason that I realized that what happened to me was ABUSE and that none of it was MY fault. When I post here, the stuff that’s hardest to put into words because of too much pain, its easier for me in poetry form. If you can, write for yourself. Do it just for you. I hope that you can and that it helps you too.
Redisfinallyfree
Writing about what happened to me and posting here are the ONLY things that have helped me. Talking about it to people, for me, has been more harmful than helpful. Writing has made an incredible difference. It is THE reason that I realized that what happened to me was ABUSE and that none of it was MY fault. When I post here, the stuff that’s hardest to put into words because of too much pain, its easier for me in poetry form. If you can, write for yourself. Do it just for you. I hope that you can and that it helps you too.
Redisfinallyfree