Addicted to shopping

[RiseandThrive]

I was wondering if shopping can be considered an addiction. I have been feeling very low lately. I get lost in my thoughts. I dream of a different life, the way I wish it was, but I keep going back to the horrible events. I get an explosion of emotions, feel overwhelmed, hate, despair, then I get angry and snap at whoever happens to be the first to talk to me. I don't feel like doing much, although I force myself to work, cook etc. Shopping always cheered me. However, I bought so many things in the last few weeks and I can't stop myself. I understand that I am trying to fill an empty hole that it can't be filled with shopping.

[greendreamdays]

Hi RiseandThrive.

Yes shopping can be an addiction. Just about anything can be an addiction, including some "nonaddictive" substances. Attempting to filling an empty hole and using maladaptive coping behaviors to sooth overwhelming distress is the essence of addiction. Though the differentiating factor between an addictive tendency or behavior and full-blown addiction is severity.

[greendreamdays]

Sorry if that's not a very satisfying response. I was not sure if you were looking for support and confirmation or if you were asking what to do with the emptiness.

[RiseandThrive]

Hi Greendreamdays,
Thank you. Your reply is very helpful. I needed a confirmation. I want try to find other ways to self sooth when I am overwhelmed. I have been trying to get rid of thing to make space and doing slow progress. Now I am buying things that I don't really need...

[FireAshes]

Hi Rise and Thrive,

I can relate to this on so many levels. Although I try to be very conscious about spending more than my means, sometimes the only way I find to "cope" is to impulse buy some things. It's only a temporary fix, for the most part.

Is there any other reason you feel like you need to buy things? For me, personally, it is because I am the youngest in my family, and everyone has always babied me in a way - and for me, buying things means that I have some "control" on my own life. It's not exceptionally healthy when it comes to impulse buying, so I try to tell myself that this is why I am buying the things, and it sometimes help me rationalize my buying process and I end up putting things back before buying them. I'm just wondering if there is something similar for you that you could tell yourself whenever you feel the urge to buy, or some process or questionnaire you can go through that will help you decide why you're buying something and if you actually need to buy it?

On the other hand, I had a therapist tell me that survivors often have addictions to all sorts of different things. For some it's drugs and alcohol. For others, it's movies. For some, it's shopping. That's not to justify the addiction, but only to say that it's very common to have an addiction as a survivor. So, don't feel like you have to go through that process alone. The more I learn about the process of healing and typical behaviors of survivors, the more enlightened I become and realize that a lot of my actions and past and present behaviors are valid.

[quixote]

RiseandThrive,
It is so easy to buy things online these days. I wonder if a lot of people do the same thing.

[RiseandThrive]

FireAshes, I haven't gave it much thought, but now I want to figure it out. I am also the youngest. I will have to think about it. I wonder if I can find a self help book or something that could help me figure it out.
Quixote, yes, online shopping made it too easy. Even when I don't feel like going out I can shop online. Also, the anticipation of receiving my parcels is exciting. It's like receiving a gift. I might be getting somewhere. Am I seeking gifts?

[FireAshes]

FireAshes, I haven't gave it much thought, but now I want to figure it out. I am also the youngest. I will have to think about it. I wonder if I can find a self help book or something that could help me figure it out.
Quixote, yes, online shopping made it too easy. Even when I don't feel like going out I can shop online. Also, the anticipation of receiving my parcels is exciting. It's like receiving a gift. I might be getting somewhere. Am I seeking gifts?

Perhaps you are? Maybe you are seeking that act of just giving from others?

Are we people pleasers and constantly give to others, only to lack the same affection in return? Does the act of receiving a gift fill a void?

[Scars]

((((( RiseandThrive ))))) & ((((( greendreamdays )))))
((((( FireAshes ))))) & ((((( quixote )))))
i do the same thing, thankfully, in spurts
and i'm usually buying for other people

scars

[RiseandThrive]

I like buying gifts for others. I've noticed that I give more than I receive. My recent shopping sprees are just for me. I feel so guilty.