)Can the world keep turning without me?
Just for today, I’m not okay
I need to be alone, Not in the next room alone,
but somewhere miles away alone
Which is tough because I’m only safe in my home
I know it seems like I’m right here,
but my head is a cloud
Floating far above
My head is underwater
Vision blurry, unfocused
Muffled voices, are they talking to me?
I need the world to turn without me today
I’m not suicidal, just too tired to play
I can’t be needed today, I have nothing to give
I
I don’t want to die, but it’s hard to be alive
Today, I get points for breathing
I need room to be not okay, without anyone worrying, because even that is pressure.
I need to not be needed today. I need room to just be.
On days where I get points for breathing, eating, keeping myself alive
My head is too heavy for my neck
I need to be alone today
I need to not be needed, know that I still care
I love you, I don’t want to let you down
So I need to be alone today
I love you, and I need you to go on without me,
so I can stay here, and focus on breathing
Inhale, hold, exhale
Yes I am sick, no, not a fever
Yes I need rest, no, this isn’t for leisure
If you say I’m taking advantage or just being lazy
Then why don’t you go on and declare me crazy
To some I’m a product of this generation
But I don’t see burnout as my obligation
I’m sorry sir, you have me mistaken
I am just trying my best not to cave in
Keep breathing, in and out,
the pressure is there, but you’ll make it out
All I’m saying is I’m not okay. Not today
They say that trauma is good, that it makes you stronger,
But would you be saying that if it were your daughter?
My trauma didn’t strengthen me, it traumatized me
Now I live life with PTSD
Today I’m fucking exhausted, I get points for breathing
But someday I’ll live, that’s what I’m believing.
Just
keep
breathing.
Give yourself time for healing. Let the world spin without you today, and maybe tomorrow.
