A Poem. Don’t worry, I am safe.

[Genesis]

I needed to express myself tonight. I am safe, but still very much enjoy the fantasy of escape. My sentence structure and grammar are a nightmare but I still wanted to share.
———————
There is no escape from my reality.
I wish I could disappear.
I remember the touching, the confusion, the desperation, the fear.

Don’t move! Don’t speak!
I slide into the white.
Am I enjoying it? Encouraging him?
The confusion extinguishes my light.

It is over, once more, and I find happiness in the relief.
But when will it happen next?
Did it happen at all?
My happiness is brief.

I was just a child, yet I still am.
She is stuck in there.
Living just like this in marriage.
In complete silence.
He could never understand.

It’s my secret and I get to choose how much I hold.
Yet, I am caged by the only way that feels safe as the depth of this pain is too much to unfold.

There is no escape from my reality.
I wish I could disappear.
I want to walk into the white and leave behind all that is too much to bear.

[Watercolor]

Well done expressing as you have, Genesis. You write well and poetry is a great tool to reach for.

[Genesis]

Thank you, Watercolor.

[there]

Wow, Genesis,
nice work.
I really see you walking ‘into the white’.

[Genesis]

Thank you, there.

It’s hard to go back and read my words from last week. I’m good at pretending I’m fine and staying so busy that I don’t have to feel this stuff. It feels terrible. Sigh.

[there]

Aww, Genesis,
I hope you have more times of creativity like this and fewer terrible times.

[Chessgirl]

Wow genesis,
This was very moving. I could really feel the emotions you were portraying. you say you aren’t good with words, but this was awesome!

[Genesis]

Thank you, Chessgirl. I appreciate your reply.