New Here -What's next?

[August]

Hi,

So I was sitting talking to my couselloring about all the shame I have been feeling about what happened to me, and the affects of everything that happened to me, and I said to her "I think that we all feel shame, but we don't want to talk about it because of how shameful it feels. I bet if we all talked about our shame, we would realize that we weren't alone, and that we didn't need to feel so alone. I wish I could just sit in a room with 20 other people who have been through what I have been through, and just let myself come to believe that I am not sick or wrong or terrible because of what happened to me. Bad things happened to me, but that doesn't make me a bad person"

I had a light bulb moment yesterday: I bet that space does exist. I bet there is a place where I can go where other people feel like I have felt. I just read the "Welcome to Newbies" post and "For the Newbies and those thinking of joining" and I just cried and cried and cried. because like for the first time in my life I feel like there are people who could know everything I'd ever thought or done and they would forgive me, and understand because they have seen it to.

I've felt scared for a while of healing myself because I have gotten so used to being unhappy that I am scared of what comes now. I think of this silly joke of a dog chasing a car, but what will it do when it catches it?

I feel like I have been chasing this feeling of just like being generally ok with who I am. Not hating myself anymore. and like I feel a bit like the dog who has caught the car, and I don't know what to do. What do you do when you've lived your whole life just thinking that you are absolutely worthless, and then you finally have the.. whatever it takes... to realize that what you've been telling yourself this whole time, probably isn't true... What do you do next?

[EasyStreet]

Welcome!

Lots of us in your shoes and we can help each other!

I’ve only been here a month or two, the depth of suffering is immense, but so is the love and compassion, and people believe you and listen when you try and explain what you’ve been through and what it has meant in your life.

Wishing you healing.

[Jonesy]

Hi August

A warm welcome to isurvive - glad you found us.
What next? Just let your fingers talk and get those words down. You will be heard here

[coconuts]

Yes I am so glad this place exists. I feel the most understood here even when I don't say anything. I went from feeling like a complete freak on my own to realizing that my feelings and experiences are real and my reactions are " normal" in a way. My thought patterns, my pain. It's all understood here. It's the only place where I don't have to put on a show. Everywhere else in my life I must be the strong one. I must hold it all together. But k can always come here to fall apart. It's something I need so badly.