There: 2019

[there]

Onward!!!

[recover]

Hi there,
wishing you all good things in 2019...yes onward.
with much caring and support,
recover xo

[there]

recover,
Oh, thanks!
Yes, we could stand lots of good things in 2019!

Great to see your post!

[there]

Why the hell can't I hold onto debit and credits? I lost them again. 3rd credit card in 2 months.

It started as dissociation. It has never freaking stopped.

It feels like I can never get beyond this vicious cycle. Losing things hurts. It feels like punishment.

Guess it could be worse. Why can't it get better? Part of me probably can't let it go.

[there]

Did some trial and error drawing on ipad. I fguess I've been successful at trying things. That's the best spin on it.

Was close to tears, now a little better.

Someone gave me a $10 supermkt gift card they were given.

Please, Universe, I don't want to fall in a black hole.

Lonely.

[reisha]

{{{{THERE!}}}}}
NO MORE LOST CARDS IN 2019,I say so!!

Ya've mentioned several times this .... losin things, & it feelin to ya like punishment,etc.while in sum ways,i get it, in other ways not.. for me,its more about ... damaging sumtin brings my *unworthiness* (incompetence, etc) up. Hmm, i spose loss does too, but its not my biggest trigger. Can ya say any more bout why misplacingthings hits ya so deeply? - only if ya care to. I'll hafta examine *why* its damaged things for me.

All that aside, icame towish ya GOOD (new) year. I have decided that we all WILL have a MUCH better yr than 2018, so there, there!

Sendin much love & support, & a big box fulla silly laughs & giggles, smiles & soft clouds, zany adventures, good friends(people) & stong, healthy connections

[wolfspirit]

there,
sorry about the loneliness
sending gentle hugs (())

<3
ws

[Fleur]

Hello there


Welcome to 2019

Your writing about losing items feeling like punishment got me thinking about my huge reluctance to tackle the room full of boxes and bags - known as lounge room, front room

I SAY I want to invite people around but only after all those things are sorted, yet I do nothing about it, except for fiddling at the edges

This doesn't feel like "home". It is a lovely two bedroom unit, only about 15 years old

Anyway, don't want to hijack your thread

Hopefully, you'll discover at the end of this year you haven't lost more than you gained in every respect


Caring hugs

[recover]

gentle hugs there to ease the loneliness, if wanted.
recover xo

[there]

Thank you, reisha, Wolf spirit, recover, and Fleur. (auto correct has learned your name )

Less Loneliness lately, spent time walking with a friend and my dog today.

Losing the debit and credit cards turned out to be a good bad thing. I owed $13 on a store credit card and didn't know it. When I called to replace the card, I learned this and paid off. It may have affected my credit score.
I'm trying to keep checking for my phone in purse.

Losing things hits me deeply---why? Could probably give you a thousand reasons, and at this point in my life, my head is done figuring out the 'why'. It's not going to unearth any new revelations because I know what the losses are and how much they hurt. I'm doing my best to heal this hurt for my inner child and me. I'm already doing inner child work which involves grieving. I'm finding out that My life is about a lot more than loss. F*** loss.

'Sendin much love & support, & a big box fulla silly laughs & giggles, smiles & soft clouds, zany adventures, good friends(people) & stong, healthy connections'---these could fill in where loss made holes.
I appreciate all of you, your kind and loving support. The wonderful people that you are. We all deserve good things.

I have a lot of things to do and to 'ta dah'.
Make 2 medical appts.
Finish vacuuming
Talk with M about possible art show
Continue on current project
Attend entrepreneurship class
Get info for back taxes to get refund
Continue Strength training for arms
Imagine the life I want

I need to get back to 'chores' around here. I think keeping I have been keeping the kitchen counter and sink pretty clean and meet. Getting to the vacuuming up dog hair today. Two rooms to go.



Really don't want to backslide. But I need to be kind and easy on myself.

edited 1x by there for safety, clarity