There's Healing Journey 2018

[recover]

hello there just want to wish you much health and all good things.
in friendship,
recover xo

[there]

lost another freaking cell phone.
I bought a case for it, thought it was secure in my bag. lost.
had it less than 2 weeks.
well, they're on sale.

This is the hell I can never get out of. Losing phones and credit, debit cards.
I cannot count how many cell phones I have lsot. My Dad used to get me a new one ev ery time.
It HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS

I don't think it will EVER FREAKING END>

PUNISH ME PUNISH ME PUNISH TILL I"M FREAKING GONE.

[there]

Now because of me showing anger in the apt. which isn't aimed at anyone cuz nobody's here,
tula went after a little dog. She was snarling at her. I don't think she bit her, but the dog was shaking.
IT's all my fault.

I feel like a terrible person,
I'm supposed to be bad, bad off, punished, punishable, evil,
which is why I deserve a HARD HARD HARD life.

I don't know hwat to do with the anger. It's how I cope to just b e pissed off and vent here.

I can't do anything right today.

I feel horrible and will always hurt somebody, including me.

[there]

I never recover.
Poverty, blamre, no control over myself, my life,

no, that's all or nothing thinking...

i feel horrible about Tula and myself.

[Fleur]

Dearest there


Wrapping you in a soft silky blanket with soothing music in background

I saw a man with a cell phone clipped to his belt. Overheard him say "otherwise I'll lose it". Really sorry you lost phone after such a short time. I only cracked a screen 3 days after buying an expensive one a few years ago - went on a rampage sounding similar to you, scared Soxy

May I challenge your all or nothing thinking? You've had a stressful time but it doesn't mean you are a bad person. Venting here is fine. You are doing the best you can with what life has sent your way. May your creativity come to the fore, your great sense of humour be quickly restored

Wishing you a happy 2019 with all positives and many special moments filling each day. May you have each need met abundantly. Good health, prosperity and helpful caring people surrounding you


Caring hugs and pats for Tula

[there]

Thank you, Fleur,
(dictation called you ‘floor’.)
I do have a new case for my phone that magnetizes it. And the case is hooked onto my purse so I can’t lose the case. I thought I put it back in the case, but I dropped The phone. Realized it within 10 minutes. Retracing my steps twice, discovered it gone.

Someone found it and Textedmy sister. While I was on Facebook with her messaging. They brought it back to my door. Someone who lives upstairs.

Yay. After a soul-wringing few hours including 5 bus rides, $50 on credit card, avoiding (mostly) self-flagellation, feeling that ‘this will never get better’ feeling and thinking it, I learned it was saved.

Then I couldn’t find my laundry card when I took clothes from dryer. A nice man used his in dryer pay slot for me. Found card. Put in drawer.

The friend from Christmas Eve dinner texted me, ‘Don’t lose anything else today”. I don’t like anybody telling me what to do who isn’t paying me or wearing a badge and a gun.

Now I have to let the friend know in an assertive, kind way. Telling others what to do is actually aggressive. Assertiveness offers choice, or doesn’t dominate. I try not to boss students around. I have to set limits and rules, but I point out that I have to follow rules, too. I say, ‘please, do this.’ As much as possible. And thank you.

This friend is an expressive T. What fun to teach others. Never get tired of it.

Trying to focus on how lucky I am.

Thank you for reading.

[there]

Thanks again, floor,
For empathizing gently with me here. For reminding me of my sense of humor.
Am mostly finished drawing a strawberry on iPad in a program called Procreate. I am taking a class in this on Udemy.

Letting as much go from the day as I can. Maybe choice can apply to what I decide to remember from today. My mind seems to go to the personally irks some things – as persons irking me lately. It’s MY mind . Gaining a little muscle in it – a letting go muscle.

Sigh. I think I need some qigong. It’s something I can do something about.

Really don’t want to sink into the powerless lonely feelings. No black holes ahead, please, Universe.

[recover]

hi there,
sorry you had such a hard day. sending you much healing and warmth and caring and strength.
with much care,
recover xo

[Fleur]

Celebrating with you there that phone was found and returned, also really lovely to know someone kind was at the laundry just when you could use assistance

May you have many more positive moments to recall fondly


Wishing you and Tula a very happy New Year

[wolfspirit]

Thinking of you, there <3
Hoping you are having easier, more cooperative experiences the last few days.
I agree; telling someone what to do is rude and insensitive. Think they're "helping" but it's not.

sending gentle hugs and pats to Tula,

ws