hello

This is a place for old members to come and share how their healing journeys have progressed.
Its also a place for those members to reconnect and share their experiences.

Moderators: Harmony, ajei

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padmini
Member
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Dec 03, 2018 9:58 pm

hello

Post by padmini » Sat Dec 08, 2018 8:55 pm

Hi! my user name is padmini...i remember some of you from the orange site, so many years ago... it was such a bih help in those years... i came here when i was about 24 years old and felt so lonely and sad... and there were angels in this site that helpt me... :)
I think i quit coming at about 30... a bunch of things have happened... I'm 42 now and I have a pretty stable life...for the ones that dont know me I'm from spain (forgive my English beceause sometimes it's not so good...), I live in Spain and i work as a teacher of primary school with kids with learning disabilities... during these years i got to do many changes, I've studied to be a teacher, I've bought a house and moved, i have a stable job that affords mme to live my myself and pay the bills... I haven't been able to be a mother or get married, that's something that somtimes makes me sad, but right now i think that the important is to get better... I'm not ok.
I can say that i have reached some things but last year i got pretty bad with depression, I've been taking meds for aboout 14 years...fluoxetine it' a low dose but whenever i quit it get so deprressed I can't hardly pas thrugh the day withouth crying... i decided to start teraphy last year... at that tieme, when i came here, there was no help in my town or even in Spain, this was a taboo...i got theraphy but she didnt help me with abuse... i am seeing a therapist now specialized in sexual abuse, and also I'm attending group theraphy... it's being hard to accept some things about my family...theraphy is so hard and intense... i feel unloyal to may family because until now the only help i have search for it has alway been online...but this is different ,because they're "real" people that can see me and live in my own city... I feel I'm being unloyal to my parents (both phisically and emotionaly abusers those years of childhood) and my brothers(one of them phisically abused me, the oldest one sexually abused me...) but as the therapist says, the more loyal you're the more you abandon that little girl that was abused and neglected... and yo have to choose between your family or you...so i 've decided to heal...
i've had the feeling to come back here these days... i've been missing so much the feeling of deserving a place like this...I don't know how to explain it... I remember good friends here (Chris, Ole, Scudder, Walden, Mamma, Droideka... ) and how i felt loved and conforted when I was just a young girl that desperately needed help...
Just too much to be put into words

Harbor
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 222
Joined: Fri Aug 31, 2018 6:52 am

Re: hello

Post by Harbor » Mon Dec 10, 2018 8:16 pm

Welcome back padmini

I'm so impressed that you are choosing to heal yourself at this important time of your life.
"'Safe Harbor' is a state of mind... it's the place - in reality or metaphor - to which one goes in times of trouble or worry. It can be a friendship, marriage, church, garden, beach, poem, prayer, or song." -Luanne Rice

padmini
Member
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Dec 03, 2018 9:58 pm

Re: hello

Post by padmini » Tue Dec 11, 2018 8:22 pm

Thanks Harbor! Well, I hope it's not late for me... I came here in my twenties and i come back in my forties :roll: ...I guess I' m not an example for anyone :oops: :oops:
Just too much to be put into words

Harbor
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 222
Joined: Fri Aug 31, 2018 6:52 am

Re: hello

Post by Harbor » Wed Dec 12, 2018 5:15 pm

Hi padmini

Considering that many people never get as far as you have, I think you are a shining example.
"'Safe Harbor' is a state of mind... it's the place - in reality or metaphor - to which one goes in times of trouble or worry. It can be a friendship, marriage, church, garden, beach, poem, prayer, or song." -Luanne Rice

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