There's Healing Journey 2018

[Couragetoday]

Hi there,

You absolutely matter.
100% sure on that one.

I wish the difficulties from the holidays were not still lingering but totally get how that happens.
Maybe planning how you’d like next year to look might help?

The isolation takes a toll, that’s for sure.

Hope you and Tula manage as best as possible.

CT

[iwillthrive]

there,

you matter to me!! sorry i haven't been really posting on others threads much lately. i'm having some real struggles. but, i wanted you to know that i think you matter a ton!

i am wishing you peace when the times are hard...iwillthrive

[there]

Thanks, recover, Ct, and iwt
Your replies mean a lot to me tonight. Being appreciated, told that I matter, empathy, a wish for peace in a hard time, gentle hugs...thank you all.

I know I ruminate. Some little gems from others on Christmas really were thoughtless. Then again, revisiting the Christmas scene has its positive aspects. Niece's mother-in-law was really nice to me. Seeing the great nieces for the 1st time and seeing little one hang my felt ornaments on the tree is a precious memory. I made an effort to be positive to nice bro's wife, and she warmed up to me more than ever before. Even had a little convo w nice bro's daughter, who's usually way into her cellphone.

Sigh.

Just means so much that each of you is here.

[there]

In posting a reply to someone else's (SweetestGirl's), thread, I had an epiphany.

I realized just then that hi I somehow hold my circumstances against myself. I think it's in shame. Yes, maybe the shame I feel about my circumstances Carry some carries some self blame.

I'm judging my circumstances. I know that I can choose my attitude or how I look at things. I just didn't realize till now but I can forgive myself for my circumstances. I've done the best I could with impossible adversities. I've been carrying this weight of judging my circumstances as bad Long enough.

What a relief! I can forgive myself and not judge circumstances as so bad or maybe not even take them so personally.

SweetestGirl helped me a lot just now. Thank you!

[there]

Have fears to address.More later.

[there]

So I did this.
I emailed my forgiveness to my sister for getting me badly injured when I was 9.

I did my best to make it clear that I was forgiving her.

It may always be a process of forgiving siblings.

I already felt all the righteous rage I needed to.

This is to help me release some energy from keeping this in. Doesn't mean I'll never be angry or hurt about again.

It was also about the scapegoat role I've been put in my whole life by FOO, and now their kids.

Have some mixed feelings now. I had to do this.
Thanks for reading.

[there]

lost my glasses last night somewhere in here.
ordered new pair online.
no glasses.

hurting, scared from thing with sister.

[wolfspirit]

there,
hello again
I hope you find your glasses and that your sister's response does not upset you.

sending a hug if wanted,

wolfspirit

p.s. I'm legally blind so if I lost my contacts or glasses I'd be in your shoes.

[there]

wolfspirit,
Thank you for empathizing. Out of contact lenses for a while now. I went shopping yesterday. Can see enough to get around places I know. Have to do stuff today, also.

Self care is difficult and I fail at it sometimes. Doing better than before, it's true.

[there]

Wolfspirit,
thanks for the hug. Totally wanted.