Great book by Pete Walker

[hummingbird]

I've been reading Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: From Surviving to Thriving (Azure Coyote, 2013) (bought it at Amazon.com) and it's so helpful! He really gets what happens during emotional flashbacks. He's a fellow abuse survivor and writes well. I feel so validated when I read this, especially when he talks about working to dismantle the inner critic. It dovetails nicely with my practice of mindful self-compassion.

He's a therapist who really understands the importance of feeling our feelings fully and grieving our painful childhoods. Great support for me as I heal!

I highly recommend this book and his other book, The Tao of Fully Feeling (both books are for sale on Amazon). He also has a website with free articles you can read.

[River]

Hummingbird,

Those books sound really good. I am going to look up the articles (web site) when I have more time. I think this might be contradicting ....but I'd love to shoot and kill the inner critics I have. Shut them up! (I get so mad and frustrated listening to them all the time) But maybe compassion towards these critic is the way to go? I think my life would be so much better if I could silence the inner critics in me. What do you think? How do you stop your inner critic(s) or help her (them) to quit being so damn critical of self?

I wish you healing in every are of your life Hummingbird. Do you find feeling your feelings and grieving is giving you some release? Please only answer any of my questions if your comfortable and want to ok.

Spike

[hummingbird]

Hi Beachlady,

I'm not able to have compassion for my inner critic! I believe my critic came from my parent's hateful voices. In his book, Pete Walker advocates stopping the critic and protecting ourselves from the critic.

I used to think I needed to try to somehow work with my critic, but his ideas about NOT working with it but stopping it have been such a relief!

Slowly I'm using these ideas to see my critic at work and to learn to protect my inner little ones and comfort them.

The self-compassion work helps me have mercy on myself and not blame and shame myself for the flaws my critic attacks me about.

This is a long slow process for me, very frustrating, but I keep on trying! For the sake of the little girl within me who was so hurt!

I hope this helps, and I so appreciate the conversation and kindness here at survive!

Gentle HUGS to you if okay!

[hummingbird]

This book has only become more important to me as the days go by and my pain and grief continue. He brings me back to self-compassion and self-protection. I need these reminders as I work with emotional flashbacks and against my inner critic. I wrote him a thank you email and he responded briefly with a kind note. Invaluable material in his books (The Tao of Fully Feeling and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and his website (removed as per guidelines).

[quixote]

hummingbird,
Thank you for suggesting this book. I'm glad that you are finding it useful. I hope others do too.
quixote

[sensitive warrior]

I love his book, especially about emotional flashbacks and the critic. There's a lot of good stuff in his book.

[hummingbird]

Up last night, with heartache, reading Pete Walker's book, the Tao of Fully Feeling. He writes about grief being a spiritual practice for him, and I'm finding it to be a path for me too.

I continue to grieve in waves, going deeper into my feelings about my childhood and then cumulative adult losses from the abuse and neglect of those early years.

Pete's words and his own inspirational ongoing recovery give me hope - I read awhile and was then able to get a few more hours sleep. There is light on the horizon...

His two books are my guidebooks through the wilderness of my healing journey.

[hopeful]

Hi hummingbird

Thanks for the info, I will definitely look up the web site. Sleep is something that eludes me so anything to help the healing is worth a try. I wish you a safe journey.

Hopeful

[hummingbird]

Pete Walker's Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder continues to be my roadmap through recovery from child abuse and neglect. This book keeps on supporting me as I work through my grief about my childhood and keeps helping me through emotional flashbacks and with shrinking my inner critic.

The author talks about bibliotherapy, and I've found that books can be really healing. During the times when I can't feel safe with people or trust them, books can bring understanding and soothing.

His book also recommended trying an online support group as a part of healing. That's how I found isurvive.

He encourages developing self-mothering and self-fathering to encourage my developmentally arrested self-compassion and self-protection.

I've been working with his book since last January and I can see the growth in self-kindness and staying on my own side. I'm so grateful to have found this insightful, compassionate book!

[hummingbird]

After working with this book and Pete Walker's other book, web site and articles for over a year, I'm more and more aware of how much his work continues to help me. Sometimes in the midst of my grief I catch a glimpse of my progress. So grateful I found his material!