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Today I am finding comfort and validation in the writings of Alice Miller, right now her book The Truth Will Set You Free. Her books help me relax and accept that what happened to me matters and, of course, it has had a tremendous impact on me and has shaped my life. Her writing helps me to stop running away from my own experience and stay present with my emotions. I've had a hard time not judging what I feel or trying to deny or suppress my emotions. When I understand that there's a reason I feel so much anger or sadness, that there's a reason for my behaviors, I can rest within myself and value and love the child I was and still carry within me - the very best heart of me!

I've felt that there is something wrong with me and therefore that my life has been nothing but one big mistake. When I can stay centered within myself, my life makes sense and I can take a deep breath and know that my perceptions, memories and feelings are valid! It's hard for me to put this into words, but I can't believe the relief this is bringing me. As I gain this understanding I can accept myself deeply and cherish the little girl who's always been within me.

WOW! Hummingbird that book sounds amazing! So much truth in what you have shared...helps to put what we feel/think/experience into perspective. Your so right that there are reasons why we do what we do.....I like what you said about "valuing and cherishing the child within you....the very best heart of you!"

I can relate to always having that feeling that there is something really wrong with me, and my life being one big mistake.

I so much agree Hummingbird, that your "perceptions, memories and feelings are valid!"

I'm really excited for you, that you are trying to "gain this understanding I can accept myself deeply and cherish the little girl who's always been within me."

I feel very encouraged and inspired after reading your post. It also related to this meditation I read today. Maybe I'll post about it. Thanks for sharing Hummingbird.

River

River, Thanks so much for your post! Thank you for your insight and kind words.

Alice Miller is AMAZING. "Drama of the Gifted Child" is another one of hers which is SO good. Happy reading!!!

Beachlady

Alice Miller is amazing!
I agree. She has this way of validating the things our society doesn't.

Sl

Alice Miller helped me beyond words, as well. My introduction to her was "Society's Betrayal of the Child". She also has a website with a blog and all sorts of Q/A. I think she passed away feeling beyond sad that she was not able to stop the epidemic of child abuse.

Hello Hummingbird

Thank you for sharing about Alice Miller

You put into words my feelings of negativity, wanting to ignore the rubbish in my life
As you say, these things have shaped all my life

I'll look for Alice Miller books to join you in reading

Alice Miller's insights about emotional blindness and childhood trauma are so important and people must know about this. I recommend reading The Drama of the Gifted Child [1981] first and The Body Never Lies [2005] second. Then I would read For Your Own Good [1983] and Thou Shalt Not Be Aware [1984]. Her first three books are harder to understand but are also her most important in my opinion. You can get the gist of her thesis by reading her replies to the readers' mail on her website. I never found God and Jesus did not answer my prayers but with Alice Miller's guidance I did save my self.

For anyone interested in books by Alice Miller, online down load available from itunes, the apple store
Some are available in Kindle format

Publishing details in English language of mentioned books are:-

Drama of the Gifted Child, the search for the true self
Basic Books, January 1997

The Body Never Lies, lingering effects of hurtful parenting
W.W. Norton and Company, August 2006

For Your Own Good, hidden cruelty in child rearing and the roots of violence
Farrar, Straus and Giroux, January 1991

Thou Shalt Not Be Aware, society's betrayal of the child
Farrar, Straus and Giroux, October 1998