Recognizing the Damage - q&a's on personal power - Q6

[Forestfairy7]

The Courage to Heal, by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis.

Q.) Do you hate yourself?
A.) I don't hate who I am deep down. I do, however, get extremely frustrated with how hard it is for me to do things that most people have no problem with - like establish a routine, get places on time despite interruptions, make themselves do thongs theyre scared of or new to and not be inert, and, of course, make sure their needs are met without feeling selfish or ashamed/guilty or undeserving or the like. I also on some level get mad at myself for not doing much better than my parents (with regards to my need-meeting and care and patience and nurturing.

[quixote]

Forestfairy7,
Don't be too hard on yourself. Other people are good at hiding their own weaknesses.
quixote

[Forestfairy7]

That's true, but their weaknesses don't interfere with their basic needs and ability to function as an independent adult. And the fact that mine are so odd and obvious is what I struggle with :\

[jimscarlet]

Personal power does not come through hoping/wishing/demanding that we SHOULD
have it. For a long time,I kept demanding,shoulding,ridiculing,and raged against self
to "For God's sake stop being so WEAK!"
That was a long time ago; I am not weak now,
and I wasn't weak back then--what I was,was lacking in the information that would
eventually make me strong like I am now.
To get that information,I was lucky to
come across a brilliant psychologist's books on self-esteem,self-responsibility,
self-assertiveness,self-acceptance,self-respect,and self-love. This man is the accepted
genius of self-esteem and I urge you to get some of his titles.
His name is Nathaniel
Branden,and a couple of titles you could start with are: "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem,"
and "Honoring The Self. " You will get them from the likes of Alibris second hand,which
will allow you to get more than one. Another thing I can't urge you enough to get is,
this book on Self-Compassion by Kristen Neff (that's title self-compassion).
Do please invest in yourself and get these,you will save tons of pain and time.
God Bless,
jimscarlet

[Forestfairy7]

Thank you! I will

[maggiegirl]

I do some basic things to help myself. Lay out clothes. Makeup drawer organized . A check off list for the day . Lists lists lists. I am not an organized person but this helps. And I congratulate myself if I get stuff done- even cleaning the kitchen. Hey you can parent yourself even if you are an adult! Geeze I wish I planned ahead more. I did not have gas in the car , I ran out oft thyroid meds, etc , etc

[Forestfairy7]

Thanks! Ha, I'm on thyroid meds too. I forget to take it sometimes though (so I haven't run out but I should have!). Luckily my job benefits started Friday! So now I can get back on track with things like that. (I think on some level I was rationing them)