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Back from a break

Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2016 12:03 am
by Nadador
I took some time off of here for awhile and decided I needed to come back for the support. I just spent 8 weeks in treatment for my eating disorder and now I think I'm finally ready to process my trauma. I have a great therapist and I really trust her I just have trouble turning my thoughts band feelings into words. I'm not sure what to do. I'm really unsure of a lot of things right now. I think I disassociate when i talk about the abuse and I'm beginning to think what I remember as dreams are really repressed memories. How do I know if I'm dissociating or have repressed memories? And any advice to keep my thoughts from being so jumbled up in my head

Re: Back from a break

Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2016 12:09 am
by Nadador
I had an eeg and had ptsd added to my list of diagnoses. If anyone has advice on how to manage it

Re: Back from a break

Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 5:28 am
by PeacefulNinja
Hi Nadador,

You have a lot of insights and good questions, hopefully members with experience with dissociation and PTSD will reply and provide guidance. I know there is a lot of information on PTSD on the web. I like the work by Peter Lavine and Bessell Vander Kolk.


Re: Back from a break

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 3:07 am
by Fleur
Hello Nadador

Have you considered creatively sifting memories?
I've used my non dominant hand to draw abstract designs helps me get some of what is in my head on paper
Playing with playdough, modelling wax, Clay has also helped me
Writing lists of what happened in childhood and how those experiences reflect in adulthood

Above all, please keep yourself safe by staying present as adult
Have comfort food, (moderation in portions without guilt ), pleasant music, activities planned, limit time spent on past
I set mobile phone alarm so I don't lose too much of myself

There are many ideas for mindfulness if you search internet
Some people dislike mindfulness, others swear by it
For me, unobtrusive actions help in public like putting fingertips on thumb or counting in my head as I walk, my steps or number of buses or type of car or flowers and trees in gardens
A way to distract from swirling thoughts

If you have a T or good friend to bounce around ideas that might be useful
If you find mind wandering such that you get distressed, have a reminder of your personal details with you at all times, especially if you get disoriented in public places
Include your current age and address, phone numbers of people you can call - even if you don't share what's going on having a reasonable conversation can help distinction between then and now
The list next to my bed for nightmares has bathroom location and who else is in house

I've a list of things to do on my fridge for when I get upset, stressed
All I need do is look at list
There are sensory stuff to engage all of myself, reminder to observe what I can see, hear, taste, smell and touch
To turn on radio to hear human voices or music, watch a DVD, walk, wash, etc
This is due to my being unable to think clearly as thoughts feelings and body sensations can overwhelm my brain

Brainstorming ideas was fun with my then T
We put some really silly ideas on list for fun or at least a laugh to cut through the mess in my head

You'll have different activities but aim for a minimum of 4 per sense or movement
Depending upon your state of mind, you'll probably discover that no one item will have same positive effect in various situations
I've often thought if only there was a definite way to manage each time it would be really nice
But we're too complex for that
However I have noticed that moving vigorously to slowing then more passive activity tends to be my pattern
Eating a strong flavor such as raw garlic or lemon gets me back to present moment fast
Sometimes it feels like a waking nightmare, other times it is more like returning to body with quick growth as I've been lost in childhood memories

Please be very kind, patient, gentle and caring with yourself
There is no right way to continue your healing journey
What I've shared might be totally wrong for you or might not suit your circumstances

Hopefully I encourage you to explore and experiment with healthy ways you can use to assist making life more manageable

Much caring from Fleur

Re: Back from a break

Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 11:41 pm
by Sequoia
Hi Nadador,

Wonder how you're doing....