still going on

This is a place for old members to come and share how their healing journeys have progressed.
Its also a place for those members to reconnect and share their experiences.

Moderators: Harmony, ajei

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Jonesy
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Re: still going on

Post by Jonesy » Sat Jan 26, 2019 8:56 am

Hey VAC

Thank you for continuing to share here. You always give my mind a work out just when I never knew it was required ;)
With much respect...
You are important

Email: jonesy@isurvive.org

VAC
Member
Posts: 682
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:16 am

Re: still going on

Post by VAC » Mon Jan 28, 2019 1:47 pm

Jonesy,

Good to see your face. I think of many here. Tell Harmony I said hello...

In dealing with the excavation of the deep pit of the past, I have uncovered things I have no words for. I am emerging.

I know there is more, but I do not seek recovery of the lost memories. I find they come in the passage of time and at the oddest times. One of the strangest things is that the more I know, the more deeply I love my parents and feel sorry for them.


It sounds strange. I know much more than I say on here. My dad so hated his own life.

VAC

Harmony
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 4875
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:10 pm

Re: still going on

Post by Harmony » Wed Jan 30, 2019 2:52 am

Aww VAC,

Hi. Miss chatting with you. Hope all you and yours are doing the best you can. We are expecting a new grandchild on the other side of the globe at the start of summer. So off we go again. Life is a long and winding road eh? Age is quite an experience.

thanks for thinking of me friend,
Harmony

Fleur
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Posts: 13124
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:23 am

Re: still going on

Post by Fleur » Sun Feb 03, 2019 3:31 am

Hello VAC


Thank you for sharing and giving words to thoughts I'd been abstracting


Wishing you very well for your writing ventures


Much caring
Onward to a safe community for all people in which to thrive ~ gentle hugs [if okay] ~ Fleur

VAC
Member
Posts: 682
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:16 am

Re: still going on

Post by VAC » Thu Feb 07, 2019 8:03 am

Hello,

Hard and strange thoughts this week. In my mind's eye I run to many places; the gypsy part of me that could never keep still for long.
I am, though, bound by love more precious to me than the urge to flee when pressure pins me down.

Laughing.

I look in the mirror and the damaged and selfish young restless wanderer does not look back, but an old man with the wisdom to know the difference between reality present and whirlwind past. It is so senseless to even ponder such things; I very seldom drive alone these days.

I am pressed right now with the lives of two couples who are hurtling senselessly towards divorce: no abuse, no adultery, no willingness to work things out. Lies which justifie doing what one knows is wrong, lies which blind their devotees to the future damage.

There are times I do meddle and want to so badly, just to try and rescue, but we will see.

I honestly guess I never thought my wife and I would grow old: I am quite offended with age. My hair turned white in my thirties and I never dyed it. I was strong and in the sun as much as possible.

I would say to each of you that are married, to truly try to appreciate each moment you and yours have together: forgive quickly and do your best to give love and bring healing to each other. Do not speak harshly to one another; do no raise your voice; let there be grace and dignity in your dealings with one another. Do not make the one who loves you pay for what others have done.

To the divorced, widowed, single: make it a habit to remember the good things about the people you have loved. I realize the only good thing for many of you is that you are free from them, but remember the good times nevertheless.

There are images imprinted in my forever being about my wife. I have a wonderful portrait of her hanging in my private room done just before we began to date. It is most probably my most treasured possession. I remember the way she looked at me when we were young: twice I had a day off from my hectic schedule, got off work and drove 1000 miles all night long, just to see her open the door and breath the same air she breathed for a few hours, then drive back for work the next morning. I was 28.

She was and is so beautiful both inside and out; she fills my life with grace and exotic presence. She still plays and sings for pleasure. She is smart and level-headed.

How I would love to be able to snatch her up and get into a car fast enough to flee time, to drive fast enough to go back in time. She has endured very much for my sake, been disinherited, had her health and heart broken.

She loves me.

I am connected to her soul and hers to mine.


God knows I have been and am loved.


VAC

Fleur
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Posts: 13124
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:23 am

Re: still going on

Post by Fleur » Thu Feb 07, 2019 10:12 pm

Thank you VAC for sharing

Maybe something similar to say to those facing divorce? If they are just tired of spouse's company, perhaps suggest rekindling loving thoughts? Separation is not easy


Wishing you and your loved ones very well
Onward to a safe community for all people in which to thrive ~ gentle hugs [if okay] ~ Fleur

VAC
Member
Posts: 682
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:16 am

Re: still going on

Post by VAC » Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:29 am

Good to see you Jonesy....wonderful Harmony for the new life....Fleur, very wise.

I just typed a long, very long post and it was erased. It was probably TMI.

I will learn.

My catharsis not necessarily for the eyes of others, but for my eyes only.

Thanks to you all....I do so miss the group chats.

Peace to every storm you face.

VAC

Fleur
Member
Posts: 13124
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:23 am

Re: still going on

Post by Fleur » Tue Feb 12, 2019 8:31 am

Hello VAC


I'm losing long posts too regularly. Most annoying when I'm about to press submit but what I've written vanishes

May you have clement weather in your part of the planet

Kind regards to you and your loved ones
Onward to a safe community for all people in which to thrive ~ gentle hugs [if okay] ~ Fleur

VAC
Member
Posts: 682
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:16 am

Re: still going on

Post by VAC » Wed Feb 27, 2019 3:03 am

Hello,

A somewhat shocking experience....in the last week we have seen a couple who did their best to destroy us both publicly and privately. They have position, power, and wealth.

It cost us a great deal to be done with them and away from the things they had planned to take us down.

We have often commented how odd it is that we never see them in this small place. I have had to deal with him in some legal proceedings a couple of years ago: the man hissed at me when we were alone in a conference room, with his wife looking on beaming.

I said nothing. They were out of our lives and it was all said and done.

Any hard feelings I have had towards them has been erased in the past two days. He is younger than me; she is younger than my wife. I shudder for I have only seen a few people change so drastically and age so in a short period of time. I am very sorry for them both.

I do not like hate. This may sound like semantics, but I have realized I am not a survivor, but a man who has survived. The abuse of my childhood is not who I am. Today my wife and I were talking about our twice encounter with this couple.

Every bad thing that could be extracted from the tangled mess of our lives during the time our daughter had recall was capitalized on by this man and woman. That it tame: it was so much more. It was a time we knew that everywhere we turned fighting for her life, there was an angry family member or stranger who did their level best to destroy us without knowing why they were doing it.

It was open season.

I do my best, even to my own hurt, not to kick people around when they are down.

It does not pay to crush the helpless or to break another bone in one who is fractured.

These things frighten me honestly. God keep me from being a destroyer.


V.

Fleur
Member
Posts: 13124
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:23 am

Re: still going on

Post by Fleur » Wed Feb 27, 2019 8:16 am

Hello VAC


Takes much maturity to not relatiate, not harbour hate when people knowingly or not harm us

Perhaps the sudden ageing of this couple might be partly due to their underlying attitude to life. I've noticed those who are most bitter sometimes seem older than their chronological age

As one bumper sticker says - growing older is mandatory; becoming wiser (or more mature, depending on which version is seen) is voluntary

How is your daughter these days?

May you and your wife and loved ones have a lovely weekend to begin March



Much caring
Onward to a safe community for all people in which to thrive ~ gentle hugs [if okay] ~ Fleur

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