I am trying to remind myself that healing is not linear.
And I am neither a victim, nor a survivor.
I am both, and neither respectively.
I wish I learned sooner that sometimes even warriors shed their armour and cry.
Or that fairies, for all their tiny fragile innocence, have a right hook to rival Chuck Norris.
I am no less hurt if I rise.
And no less a fighter if I weep.
When I feel small, I wan to see through my little sister's eyes.
Because despite all I believe, she looks up to me.
And if she's looking up I can't be sinking.
If my mirror could reflect her perception maybe I'd greet the day feeling 50 feet tall.
On days when i wake and feel I can take on the world.
I wish I could bottle the feeling. Label it:
"Remember me".
So on days when I am too weak to rise, when the mirror image is distorted, my armour is gone and I am a victim not a survivor.
I can remember the days when I fought and won.
I can open the bottle and smell fight.
Put it to my lips and taste strength.
Swallow it, and feel freedom.
I am learning that I can be both the damsel and the hero.
Both the wound and the weapon.
Capable of both falling and flight.
Of hatred and love.
Anger and serenity.
A mosaic of personality.
I am as unknowing as a babe and wise as an elder.
Someday's my shoes are on the wrong feet, others I unlock the secrets of the universe.
I am the fire that sears skin and the water that cools it.
The darkness that clouds thoughts and the candle that lights the way.
Neither all good nor all bad.
Just a confused multi-layered human.
Learning to navigate a confused, multi-layered world.
Non linear healing.
Moderator: Jonesy
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Non linear healing.
A champion is defined not by their wins but by how they can recover when they fall.