Letters of war

For all members who enjoy writing poetry or who use poetry to express their strongest emotions.
Please be advised this area can be triggering, so read cautiously.

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Crow
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Posts: 1365
Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2020 12:22 pm

Letters of war

Post by Crow »

Okay... so for ages I have been trying to improve my writing. I have wanted to be more creative and use more imagery. I really wanted to use imagery to creatively make a point. But also, I have wanted to write a poem that is maybe not what it seems... that when the reader reads it they have their own interpretation of it... and maybe need to read and dissect it multiple times.
So with childlike excitement, this here novice has written one in ten minutes or so, and this is pretty much first draft.
I'd love it if maybe people could suggest their interpretation of the meaning or story here. (Maybe that's unfair... I know what it is truly about.) I let my wife and kids read it, and they all thought the same thing individually... I hadn't even seen what they had suggested, and so it sort of made me feel even happier that I had achieved my goal. They were way off!
Anyway, here's my poem!

Crow

Letters of war

The paper was filled with lies.
In between the lines, the dark truth lay hidden
like a sniper in wait of unsuspecting civilians.
Its deceit ambushed all logic.
Those lies were accepted as truth,
and willingly the enemy surrendered, and withdrew.
But the true enemy was within its own ranks,
insidiously wearing down its own troops.
From pain comes a courage
The strength from injustice

Quote taken from The Rage To Overcome by Machine Head
greendreamdays
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Posts: 78
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2021 3:08 am

Re: Letters of war

Post by greendreamdays »

Hi Crow,

I was just thinking of something similar today! I write songs and most of the time I have a personal story in mind and I want the listeners to feel how I felt when making the song. Just today I was thinking how cool it would be to write a song that evokes something similar for everyone but the experiences and memories it evokes in people are unique to them.

The paper was filled with lies.
I'm assuming the paper was a letter of surrender from the other side? Or maybe a false love-letter?
In between the lines, the dark truth lay hidden
like a sniper in wait of unsuspecting civilians.
But it was a lie, like a Trojan horse kind of deal...without the horse I guess :)

But the true enemy was within its own ranks,
insidiously wearing down its own troops.
I am not sure I can identify the original intent of the poem. To me it reminds me that despite the false projections on the outside, at the end of the day we can be our own worst enemy, even lying and betraying ourselves. Either that or something about being betrayed by someone else, looking like one of the "good guys" only to be stabbed in the back later? Sorry if I'm way off!

Was I close?? Interesting poem, thanks for sharing.
Crow
Member
Posts: 1365
Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2020 12:22 pm

Re: Letters of war

Post by Crow »

Hi greendreamdays,

Thank you for replying, and for sharing your interpretation and views. I like your line of thought, and it confirms how each reader can interpret it differently.
I'll see if anyone else comes along and offers their meaning gleamed from reading it before I maybe give a detailed line by line break down.
Maybe I should join a poetry site for constructive critique

Thank you greendreamdays.

Crow
From pain comes a courage
The strength from injustice

Quote taken from The Rage To Overcome by Machine Head
Tryingtostayafloat
Member
Posts: 96
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2021 6:08 pm

Re: Letters of war

Post by Tryingtostayafloat »

Hi Crow,

This really took me back to any intervention my school tried to make with my family, or any outside intervention really.
How it never looked like there could ever be anything possibly going on behind closed doors.
Which just isolated me further.

I try my best to read between all the lines in life now, some may say too much but for me it's missed information that shouldn't be missed.

Thank you for sharing
Last edited by Jonesy on Wed May 12, 2021 8:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed MT to NT, as no triggering detail
I thought my heart was failing
Hey you're ok, you seem to be still standing
Flashes appeared in the corner of my eyes, I saw the stars and I didn't ask why
Heard the voices and caught my breath
So close and yet so far from death
-Florence + the machine
Crow
Member
Posts: 1365
Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2020 12:22 pm

Re: Letters of war

Post by Crow »

Hi Tryingtostayafloat,

I'm sorry you understand that situation.

I was going to refrain from explaining it, but it is indeed about intervention and lies.
Simply it could be seen as being about lies and people not questioning what they read or are told. (My daughter thought the poem was about the media's portrayal of Covid-19!!!)

It is about the letter that my parents wrote in response to the social worker's letter following my disclosure at school, and the resulting letter from them that I saw years later. (It's inspired by my other recent poem 'Persuasiveness of words'.)

I may if I find time, give a detailed breakdown of my thinking behind the imagery.

Crow
From pain comes a courage
The strength from injustice

Quote taken from The Rage To Overcome by Machine Head
Tryingtostayafloat
Member
Posts: 96
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2021 6:08 pm

Re: Letters of war

Post by Tryingtostayafloat »

I'm sorry you went through that Crow, I'm sorry for the power parents and carer's hold when we are so young.

But I'm so glad you are able to use your words and poetry to make something beautiful, to help you with your healing and creative side to give your inner child the voice they deserved.

Things are out of our control for such a long time, you hold your power now.

Well done. 🤗
I thought my heart was failing
Hey you're ok, you seem to be still standing
Flashes appeared in the corner of my eyes, I saw the stars and I didn't ask why
Heard the voices and caught my breath
So close and yet so far from death
-Florence + the machine
Tryingtostayafloat
Member
Posts: 96
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2021 6:08 pm

Re: Letters of war

Post by Tryingtostayafloat »

I can also see why your daughter would think that.
That's the great thing about art, people can take what they need from it makes it very powerful when there are many perceptions.
Last edited by Jonesy on Wed May 12, 2021 6:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed MT to NT, as no triggering detail
I thought my heart was failing
Hey you're ok, you seem to be still standing
Flashes appeared in the corner of my eyes, I saw the stars and I didn't ask why
Heard the voices and caught my breath
So close and yet so far from death
-Florence + the machine
Crow
Member
Posts: 1365
Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2020 12:22 pm

Re: Letters of war

Post by Crow »

Thank you :)
From pain comes a courage
The strength from injustice

Quote taken from The Rage To Overcome by Machine Head
invisible
Member
Posts: 300
Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2019 12:12 am

Re: Letters of war

Post by invisible »

okay now
troupes can be interpreted in many ways,
boy/girl scouts troops,
or such things of that nature. I tend to overthink.
it spoke of betrayal maybe by the foster system but that is a different kind of war. and i should keep my own emotions out of this. sorry. it’s a phenomenal poem.



I also thought of a priest due to the nature of the last few lines. but then not in a good sense, but in a more sense of betrayal sense, like they were supposed to protect us, but instead they didn’t.
i have enjoyed this poem.
thanks so much for this very interesting poem.
invisible

Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness. -Anne Frank

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.
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