An Answer to "What's Eating You?

For all members who enjoy writing poetry or who use poetry to express their strongest emotions.
Please be advised this area can be triggering, so read cautiously.

Moderator: Jonesy

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there
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Posts: 9099
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

An Answer to "What's Eating You?

Post by there »

What's Eating You Haiku

Anger, please swallow me whole.
after tiny bites,
the sullen wind bruises me.
All women are beautiful. Period.
I deserve better than survival.
Watercolor
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Posts: 1716
Joined: Wed Jan 01, 2020 11:46 pm

Re: An Answer to "What's Eating You?

Post by Watercolor »

I like this very much, there.

I love the rhythm of haikus.
there
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Posts: 9099
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: An Answer to "What's Eating You?

Post by there »

oh, Watercolor, thanks!

I believe in creative, expressive release.

I love their rhythm, too. They make me think of sumi-e painting, too.
All women are beautiful. Period.
I deserve better than survival.
coconuts
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Posts: 5145
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:34 am

Re: An Answer to "What's Eating You?

Post by coconuts »

I like it.

I too like haiku. The intentionality of each word and simple rhythm.
Be the Light 🌟 in someone's night.
there
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Posts: 9099
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: An Answer to "What's Eating You?

Post by there »

coconuts,
yes! Haiku really makes you consider words, meaning, and meter.
It lets you say something in a short amount of time.

I like longer poetry, too.
All women are beautiful. Period.
I deserve better than survival.
Maxie
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Posts: 158
Joined: Tue Jul 07, 2020 5:48 pm

Re: An Answer to "What's Eating You?

Post by Maxie »

there, I love that poem! In so few words it captures so much! I can relate to feeling that anger "eats" me, and I Iike the idea of "surrendering" to it, the feeling of "giving up" in the sense of stopping the fight and telling it you're done. It almost sounds "suicidal", but in truth it's taking the courage to say "Okay you win. I'm done. Take me" almost like a gentle thai-quan-do move where you give your opponent no more options.
Last edited by Jonesy on Fri Jul 10, 2020 11:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed MT to NT, as no triggering content
there
Member
Posts: 9099
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: An Answer to "What's Eating You?

Post by there »

Maxie, thank you!

I never thought of that as a martial arts move! Giving the opponent no more options. Very cool interpretation.
All women are beautiful. Period.
I deserve better than survival.
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