Absolutely Repulsed

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Murasakibee
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Absolutely Repulsed

Post by Murasakibee » Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:48 am

Hi I'm new here and there's quite a bit I would like to share about myself, and some other things, but for now I am focusing mostly on discussing a very recent matter, the abuse that happened to my niece and...the reactions of my family which have left me disgusted and angry.

Trigger warning. Sever trigger in here.
Sexual abuse is something that happens more often than I'd like to admit in my family and it upsets me. My neice is not biologically related to me nor is her teo older sisters, 12 and 10. She is 7. Her sisters have been sexually abused before. Several other members of the family have been as well and yet...somehow it happened again. I am not a victim blamer normally, but I don't buy for a second this was an accident. My family is enablers, in my opinion or at least not confrontational.
The guy who abused my neice they were all 100% aware he was a child abuser, he spent hundred of dollars on gifts for my little neice, he liked having "alone time", and he was just overall very creepy and their response was...well what we were supposed to do?
TELL HIM OFF!
I myself am just learning about all this fully. I knew they suspected he was a pervert, I met him once while he came over on my nephew bday and had picked up my other neice and set her on his lap and I told him to watch himself. (A different neice, she was on my sister side. I have many nieces. The abused niece is on my oldest brother side, she is 7, my sister daughter is 8. ) I did not realize he was still coming around and messing with my neice, I thought they had gotten rid of him when he had apparently spent hours in the room with the girls, the 10 year old claims he did nothing but watch movies with them. Apparently they have been leaving the kids in his care while doing runs to the store and stuff because he doesn't charge and they didn't want to "inconvenience" me or anyone else in the family.

Things got very bad recently because my household who primarily watched the kids caught covid-19 and jad to quaratine. My sister in law left the 12 yr old in charge while she worked. However the abuser was coming around and abusing the 7 yr old. A lot. And he had of course done it in the past but it got way worse. My sister in law took my 7 yr old niece to dr to be examined because she was saying it hurts to pee, and it itched. They found out she was being sexually abused and so the doctor office called cps and now there's an ongoing investigation, they are giving my sister in law one last chance (despite her record.) Also she lied to me and told me they didn't find any evidence but she was trying to make herself look less bad I guess idk.

I am disgusted though.

First reason I am is they are blaming the 12 yr old more than anyone else because "she let him in and then told her to lie after she was abused or mommy would get in trouble". She's 12. She is a sexual abuse victim herself, who knows maybe he abused her too! Not that they would ask her! But regardless she is just a child, who is vulnerable and already has a lot on her plate.

Second thing I'm disgusted about is they are asking my neice to lie more and claim it was only recently and not been going on for 2 yr (2 YEARS!?) Yet they want to be mad a 12 yr old past sexual abuse victim with un-medicated adhd !?!? That's hypocrisy! That was the first time she ever babysat was those days we were in quarantine!


Third thing is...how little guilt they feel. They knew for years and they kept letting him come around for convenience and because he would buy them take out and nice things. They knew and had warned me that he was a predator But took zero measures to protect my young niece. AND THEY DON'T CARE. They just keep saying "oh I knew it was gonna happen eventually" "we all knew he was a perv"

How, how can they live with themselves. I feel bad for people who didn't know and actually feel bad but, like, they knew and are makong excuses. I think it is honestly safer for my nieces and nephew to be removed. This is messed up. I love those kids. How could they do this? How could they be so okay with themselves

Oh and now they are acting like the girls are completely inconvenient, like having to go and watch them (yes including their dad) or they think my sister in law is imposing on us if she asks for any of us to watch the kids. So, yeah the past week and a half I have had a house full of kids because no, I am not letting my neices get hurt.

I'm going to petiton the courts to let me have them, because I'm certain they will he removed soon and my nephew was murdered in foster care so I don't trust the state.

I'm sorry if this was upsetting to anyone. I meeded to rant

I am.so done with almost everyone in my family

coconuts
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Re: Absolutely Repulsed

Post by coconuts » Wed Jan 13, 2021 3:06 am

Wow thats horrible. Children deserve to be protected. They cannot do it for themselves.

There is so much wrong with that situation. Im glad the authorities are aware but also think you should make sure they are aware of what you know as well. There is zero excuse for their behavior and zero reason to believe they will change and ever work to protect their daughters.

Coconuts

Crow
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Re: Absolutely Repulsed

Post by Crow » Wed Jan 13, 2021 9:13 am

Hi Murasakibee,

I second what coconuts has said, you really need to make services aware of all that you know. Even if it is via a separate report or allegation in addition to the current one. If anyone knows or suspects child abuse is happening they should report it.
I hope that justice is done and that a safe home is provided for all of the children.

Crow

Crow
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Re: Absolutely Repulsed

Post by Crow » Wed Jan 13, 2021 9:59 am

Oh, and I was meant to have said regarding this;
Murasakibee wrote:
Wed Jan 13, 2021 2:48 am
Yet they want to be mad a 12 yr old past sexual abuse victim with un-medicated adhd !?!?
I'm no expert (far from it) but this diagnosis (if it is) of adhd could possibly be incorrect. If she is a SA victim herself then with the chaotic neglectful home environment along with the abuse she has suffered, it may well be that adhd has been misdiagnosed, and in fact she could be suffering from C-PTSD.
Just something to bear in mind as treatment will be different.

Crow

Murasakibee
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Joined: Fri Jan 01, 2021 10:48 pm

Re: Absolutely Repulsed

Post by Murasakibee » Wed Jan 13, 2021 3:31 pm

Thank you Crow and Coconuts
Oh yes, I do plan to work with the authorities on this, I really don't care who it upsets in my family but they have failed their children and they are being really unfair to them and they crap most of family is talking has pushed be to the breaking point, and I feel stuoid for believing they had gotten rid of the guy, I figured they lied because they know I didn't approve ugh I should have called awhile ago.
I told my closest brother who is 23 and my best friend (he is only a year older than me) that I blame our older brother, and my sister who had been living with them until recently because they were well aware what type of person he was and did nothing to stop the situation solely for "convenience " oh and so my sister in law didn't get offended cor accusing her friend of being a pervert. I feel more disgusted with them then my sister in law because they are making excuses for themselves and then blaming the 12 yr old and really even the 7 yr old. Yesterday while she was here, she was talking about her abuser, in a sort positive light (he did play woth her a lot) and my sister went ballistic on her and basically said to her that she was bad for enjoying playing with him. I told her to shut up in my house, and if she was going to lash out on the children then she can't be here at the same time. My 23 brother hadn't really known about the situation because he lives partially at work and its only been going on for a week and a half, but he is livid. He had gotten into a huge arguement with my brother a year and a half ago because of the room incident. So, I think he plans to work with CPS and the courts maybe as well.
Luckily I also have messages on my texts and messenger to prove the crap they have been saying, part of it.

Crow, yes I have actually thought of that with the mental illness thing. Especially since all of them are diagnosed with either ADHD, the 12 yr old has, or austism the 10 yr old, the 7 yr old and my 4 year old nephew. The 12 yr old has a year time concentrating, is very hyperverbal, very forgetful and suffers a lot.of depression and insomnia. My mom said awhile ago that she believed her insomnia was trauma based and bought her a sound box thing and a nightlight, it helped her a lot. Schoolwork is her worst enemy, she has a lot of problems paying attention and retaining things and she has a hard time staying quiet. My mom has thought she had ptsd for years, my mom calls it "battered child syndrome"
The 10 yr old is very disconnected from everyone, she just seems depressed and angry all the the time and she spends most of her time alone. I don't think that autism.
My 7 yr old niece for awhile had antrums like she is 2, you would tell her no, and if she was having a bad day she just threws a huge fit. She fought with her cousins and siblings, physically and verbally. She started acting a lot better this year, she started maturing and then she's been slipping back into it, and I can see why. 2 yrs old she was diagnosed with autism along with her brother.
Her brother, doesn't speak and likes to play by himself, he loves to be cuddled though, he's very clingy. I'm not sure if hes autistic or not.
I think my nieces at least its more of ptsd and current abuse rather than adhd and autism.

I plan to bring up all my concerns and everything I've been told/sent because I don't want to watch them get abused another time

Crow
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Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2020 12:22 pm

Re: Absolutely Repulsed

Post by Crow » Wed Jan 13, 2021 4:18 pm

I'm pleased for the children that they have you there to support them and fight for them. I think the first thing to address is their safety and making a statement. After that in time the 'diagnoses' can be questioned practically.
From my own healing journey that has recently started, I am beginning to see so much of my struggles being possibly linked to my own abuse. The more I read about 'complex post traumatic stress disorder' the more I see other mental health conditions being wrongly diagnosed due to similar traits and effects. But without the background of abuse, neglect and trauma the correct diagnosis could easily be missed, and treatments for other conditions may not work or even make cptsd symptoms worse.

Crow

Murasakibee
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Joined: Fri Jan 01, 2021 10:48 pm

Re: Absolutely Repulsed

Post by Murasakibee » Wed Jan 13, 2021 5:02 pm

Thanks a lot Crow, I appreciate your insight and advice. I will update when things move further, currently I plan to contact them next week, since the end of this week will be the 10 yr olds birthday and the weekend we are having a party for her, luckily all week I'll be the one watching the kids. I think several family members are already aware of my intentions, includong my mom and my 23 yr old brother

Genesis
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Re: Absolutely Repulsed

Post by Genesis » Wed Jan 13, 2021 6:46 pm

I came from a family of abuse and some people knew and did nothing and others trusted a person living with the pedophile to protect me from him but that person was too weak. I was left with a pedophile off and on for the 1st 8 years of my life. I hope that you can help your young family members. The sexual abuse was such a part of my life, that I didn't even recognize it was abuse back then. I didn't even know I should try to fight it. I hope these children get help soon.

It's so tricky when it's family. Thinking of you and your family.
Last edited by Harmony on Thu Jan 14, 2021 9:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited trigger indicator from MT to NT due to no specific triggering content or language.
~ Genesis 💔

Murasakibee
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Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 2021 10:48 pm

Re: Absolutely Repulsed

Post by Murasakibee » Thu Jan 14, 2021 3:16 am

I'm so sorry you went through that, thats terrble. My family is reckless around abusers as well. I just can't understand how people can be like that.
I am going to do everything in my power to get those those girls (and the boy too) to safety.
Last edited by Harmony on Thu Jan 14, 2021 9:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited trigger indicator from MT to NT due to no specific triggering content or language.t

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