Abuse hides in memories, and I think I'm in denial...

A discussion area specifically for survivors who suffered physical, emotional, and verbal child abuse. This forum can also be used for Members who suffered sexual abuse at the time of physical, emotional and verbal abuse.

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there
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Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: Abuse hides in memories, and I think I'm in denial...

Post by there » Fri Feb 22, 2019 5:01 pm

SallySunshine,

Jmo, but you don't need extra pressure to remember dreams. If you do remember and can record something, great. If not, that's ok, too, because it happens to everyone to not remember dreams.
Maybe you could write about an emotional or somatic flashback. this may not seem to help directly . However, responding to flashbacks with is a valuable ski tool to include in your coping tool box.
So much of the difficulty we can't control. You never chose to be abused, or to have arousal to it. You are doing a lot to support yourself aleeady--getting a T, be bravely sharing here.
Gradually, the Pandora's box will release its contents. You can be slowly placing coping skills in it, transforming it eventually to your toolbox. This is happening in my life, anyway.
'Paris is always a good idea.' --Audrey Hepburn

SallySunshine
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Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2019 1:44 am

Re: Abuse hides in memories, and I think I'm in denial...

Post by SallySunshine » Sat Feb 23, 2019 2:10 am

Thank you There, T is not pushing me, he just said that I need to write them down if I have one so I don't forget it. I always forget my dreams within 10 minutes of waking up. So I figured I should be having them. Since I have been shown the denial, and the reality of being abused, I have not dreamt at all. Or I can't remember at all. It's just frustrating.

I guess I am expecting too much of myself, without realizing it. I'm so used to controlling everything... I can't control this, and it's stressing me. I guess I will try to just be patient. It's very hard. Everything has happened so fast, and now just stopped... Thank you for responding. :D
Last edited by Jonesy on Sun Mar 03, 2019 7:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed MT to NT, as no triggering content

sarahoknow
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Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2019 4:49 pm

Re: Abuse hides in memories, and I think I'm in denial...

Post by sarahoknow » Sat Feb 23, 2019 7:58 am

I think not feeling in control is something we all struggle with but I think in your particular case its maybe a good thing to just relax and give up the thinking for a bit. It will resolve itself in the end but that could take quite some time. I don't think any of us are a 'quickfix' :)
I know once you get on the road to healing you want to 'race to the finish' and have it done with but I don't think it works like that unfortunately.
But you will get there I am sure of it.
Keep strong and tell yourself everyday that you are.
Good thoughts. x
Last edited by Jonesy on Sun Mar 03, 2019 7:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed MT to NT, as no triggering content

Noname
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Posts: 1985
Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2013 4:58 pm

Re: Abuse hides in memories, and I think I'm in denial...

Post by Noname » Fri Mar 01, 2019 5:52 pm

Hi SallySunshine,

For years I never remembered my dreams. Now I can remember them sometimes, other times not so much. My first T said that it was probably because my brain was so used to repressing things. It is frustrating, I know, to feel like you have NO control over things. But I've found that pushing myself only makes things so much worse in the end. I know first hand how bad it is to have a memory come back too quickly when I actually wasn't ready. It was awful. As hard as it is, your brain will only give you what it thinks you can handle. I'm not sure if anything I've said makes you feel any better! Lol. I hope that posting here helps. You're among people who understand.

Booklover
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Re: Abuse hides in memories, and I think I'm in denial...

Post by Booklover » Wed Mar 06, 2019 2:37 am

coconuts wrote:
Thu Feb 21, 2019 10:02 pm
It's like going down a river with no paddles. Sometimes I'm racing over rapids and dealing with all sorts of junk. Other times I'm just slowly floating down stream taking my sweet time.
Coconuts that is exactly how I feel it is like a river a very windy river and you can’t see what’s around the next corner.

Sallysunshine just rest when you can and don’t stess about not dreaming or remembering them. You will have times when you will wish you didn’t remember them so just rest in the in between times and build up your emotional energy ready for the next wave.

Take care
Booklover

I will become a survivor not a victim

Gentle (((((hugs))))) 🤗if ok

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