There: 2019

A discussion area specifically for survivors who suffered physical, emotional, and verbal child abuse. This forum can also be used for Members who suffered sexual abuse at the time of physical, emotional and verbal abuse.

Moderators: quixote, Harmony, ajei

Post Reply
DewDrop
Member
Posts: 1255
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 7:32 pm

Re: There: 2019

Post by DewDrop » Wed Apr 24, 2019 5:35 pm

Hi there,

So often you inspire me to return to some of the Yogic/meditative practices, which have been so helpful personally in the past.

Good going on keeping consistent with the mantra meditation.

Thanks for being,

there
Member
Posts: 6758
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There: 2019

Post by there » Fri Apr 26, 2019 11:44 pm

Ct,
Yeah, doing what I can to extend nonjudgmental awareness to everyday experience. It does help with letting go of destructive thinking, internalizing others' judgments, criticism. Glad you've done some chair yoga :)

Dewdrop,
Good on you for returning helpful practices.
The daily commitment does a lot for me, maybe in ways I don't even know yet.

A few weeks ago, I started taking Ashwaghanda, and it has been doing great things for me. I take a minimal dose. It takes the edge off of the anxiety and fear, and I think it's helping my physical stamina. What's not to like.

Had a phone appointment with a Social Security benefits counselor from a program called work without limits. A lot to think about in terms of how earnings more money could affect my benefits and eventual retirement. She was pretty nice.

Taking care of a lot, too much to cover here right now. Continuing to build up to working more.

Thank you for reading any hope everyone has some good times this weekend.
Reach for the stars. ---Christa McAuliffe

there
Member
Posts: 6758
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There: 2019

Post by there » Sat Apr 27, 2019 2:54 am

And I want to add something I need some support for...
Short description----
I need to avoid talking with a neighbor. We sometimes talk about G*d. The other day, he 'ordered' me to watch my dog, blah, blah,
which was really NoNe of his freaking business.
He became a pastor recently.
I feel like I can't avoid him. I want to give him no attention. But today, he waved to me, said 'hi'. I did the same, even though I had told myself I don't like what he did.
I don't feel like talking to him about it. Just want to ig-freaking-nore him.
Thanks for reading.
Reach for the stars. ---Christa McAuliffe

Couragetoday
Member
Posts: 5916
Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2014 11:31 pm

Re: There: 2019

Post by Couragetoday » Wed May 01, 2019 8:37 pm

Hi there,

It must be awkward interacting with people you’d rather not, when you see each other frequently.
I hope you can find a way to manage the interactions that feels OK for you.

Hope you are doing OK in your part of the world.
With caring,
Couragetoday

there
Member
Posts: 6758
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There: 2019

Post by there » Sun May 05, 2019 12:11 am

thank you, Ct,
for being understanding. Haven't seen him lately . My new rule for myself is that I'm not spending time with people who detract from my life. I do my best to be positive with and considerate of people. If they become negative and inconsiderate, I'm learning to detach. Boundary.

Dealing with Financial uncertainties concerning working more, SSDI, eventual retirement, housing. Nothing imminent, but spoke with the Social Security Disability benefits counselor. Lots of variables. She's sending me a summary of our discussion. She's very nice.

She advised me to apply for more available State Health coverage. I am fortunate to live where there our statewide health benefits by law.
It's something I've wanted to do but she's told me how to do it. I started the process, and it's got its challenges. Really difficult to be in the now, not reflect too much on my entire adult life on disability. Sigh. Feeling sad and angry, which will pass.

I got a financial aid membership to the Y. I really need to start going. They have a lap pool and a therapy pool. With my tendinitis in elbow, I can swim laps using a flutter board and just kicking, no arm movement. I'd like to try the therapy pool. Therapy pool has an aqua fitness class there and
Adult open swim. Also some yoga classes. It's a bus Plus walk, or an Uber ride to get there. Not too bad. Really think going Will be good for me though.

Really need to clean and organize here. At least keeping up with the dishes for the most part, doing some laundry, vacuuming, mopped kitchen floor.

Creativity is so important to me.

Thank you for reading. Hope to catch up with somebody in chat soon.
Reach for the stars. ---Christa McAuliffe

reisha
Member
Posts: 2020
Joined: Sun Apr 20, 2014 11:00 pm

Re: There: 2019

Post by reisha » Sun May 05, 2019 10:20 pm

Hi there

Catchin up, & omgosh, are we ever livin paralelalellalll lives! Slightly diff frames, but such similar pix!
Understand bout..... ssi/work/creativity/'labels'/finances/boundaries/neighbors/swimmin (exercise/*therapy*).......! ( me too!) Thats a big ole lil 'list' to juggle! All in good time. (Or, as we know so well, *life* will Happen, who needs plans?!)
Ya sound ok w everything , even the neighbor - in that, ya have very clear limits, stated for yerself. I sense a bittta 'people pleasing', or 'manners' or ... (need words) in yer interactions still him. I do that too - rements of ...... our 'trainning'. Im reluctant totell himwhat i *really* think, afraid of being labeled as .... 'not nice' ( or ~worse!~) dontcha wish we could Speak, say ' i dont like you. Please dont interact w me in the futre'.? Ithink we get better at bein able to saythat, the more we practice. In solidary w ya on this one!

Sendin much love & support
Last edited by Serenity on Mon May 06, 2019 10:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed MT to NT as no triggering detail included

earthhorse
Member
Posts: 1842
Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:12 pm

Re: There: 2019

Post by earthhorse » Mon May 06, 2019 7:33 am

Hi there,

Just dropping in to touch base.

Yeah it can be really awkward with people who also want to tell you how to live your life. I personally hate this, but find myself being one of those people who always has advice... so you know kettles calling the other etc. But it's another level when it's a self appointed authority figure. Always deep cringe with religious types too... very triggering.

But you know etiquette is like a defense. It can be an important boundary too. Like here and no further. A greeting, but no chit chat. I think confrontation is a kind of gift for people I really care about. When I want to improve a relationship or release myself from one. It takes so much energy and time, some people are best just kept at arms length. The deepest regrets I've had have usually been with even engaging with people who I knew from the outset were already acting weirdly towards me, like looking for a rise, or an opening to get their hooks in.

Wow, so much to navigate it sounds like with health insurance and disability. So glad you are taking care of yourself and making sure you will be supported.

Finding the swimming really inspiring. I love to swim too. Hate shaving my legs though hahaha and well am not brave enough at the mo. to have not shaved legs at the pool.

Stay beautiful as you are there!

Love,
EH
"One kind word can warm three winter months"

EasyStreet
Member
Posts: 474
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2019 7:36 pm

Re: There: 2019

Post by EasyStreet » Mon May 06, 2019 3:15 pm

Hi there!

I hear you on the boundaries. I'm slowly getting better. Reading about your efforts helps me!

Thanks!
EasyStreet
Thanks for being.

there
Member
Posts: 6758
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There: 2019

Post by there » Wed May 08, 2019 5:38 pm

reisha, earthhorse, EastStreet,
Thank you all for your kind and supportive posts. It’s so good to know I’ve been heard, listened to.
I saw this Same guy in passing. He said ‘hi’ to my acquaintance, I said nothing, and he was already behind the closing elevator door.
I just have to keep honoring my own needs, desires About boundaries and my self respect. Can’t change other people, right?

There’s Another guy who was in a crowd I hung with along time ago. We all did music together at somebody’s apartment.
Then I got interested in S and try to start a relationship. It really didn’t go well.
It wasn’t comfortable and it didn’t go much of anywhere. He wasn’t Really abusive. He just wasn’t that into it.
I bumped into him after work several weeks ago. I agreed to meet with him. We met once For coffee and I had Tula with me.

Later he texted that he wanted to meet up again, he’d come My way and would I feel comfortable leaving the dog at home Because he wanted me all to himself, he said.So I did.

And he wants to meet this evening. I didn’t exactly say yes or no, just that I didn’t get back from work until 5:30 or so. Now he wants to meet then as if I already said yes which I didn’t exactly do.

I want to politely and honestly decline for this evening. The timing is not good and I just am ambivalent. I really don’t feel like I want to be on the giving end and listening, Being supportive For his . Needs and creative pursuits. It wasn’t completely one way when we met before but I just…

And I need to find a polite way of telling the vocational counselor she’s being weird.
Sorry this went on and on and thank you for reading.
Reach for the stars. ---Christa McAuliffe

Couragetoday
Member
Posts: 5916
Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2014 11:31 pm

Re: There: 2019

Post by Couragetoday » Wed May 08, 2019 7:14 pm

Hi there,

It sounds like politely declining might be a gut instinct, if I am interpreting correctly?
I don’t know about you but I find navigating interpersonal relationships increasingly tricky.

Is there something specific going on with the vocational counselor?
I hope you find a way to broach it that Feels as comfortable as possible.

Hope you’re having a good day,

Couragetoday

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests