There: 2019

[dancingfish]

Hey there, I'm sorry I wasn't in chat earlier and perhaps missed you, was looking forward to catching up with you. Hope to see you around soon, looks like you've been busy with the hard work of sorting, organising and parting with some things. :)

Thinking of you, and pocket riding for a cup o' tea and a walk with Tula if you don't mind, and would like it. :)

[there]

Hi, coconuts,
coconuts, Thanks for your words of support and company. It's a good thought to use copier to email PDFs. I can do this at UPS, but, unfortunately, it wouldn't be any faster than using my scanner, plus they'd charge. lol.

I will try not to let what still needs to be done detract from my accomplished progress!

haha, dancingfish,
Have been thinking of you. I had an extra T appt yesterday, or i would have stuck around in chat longer.A lot going on, mostly good. I usually see T every other Tuesday at 4:15. So same thing next week.

And was specifically thinking of you pocket riding for walk with Tula! We're leaving in a little while!

Last night, Contacted 2 friends I'd connected with at HS reunion. It was really good connecting with them. Same married guy who grabbed my knee when he gave me a ride back from reunion was hitting on B, one friend I talked with last night. We agreed we were disappointed more than upset, and shared a laugh about him.

First step in writing business plan-listening to entire online course before attempting to take it using Excel. Have listened to 10 of 13 chapters.

Have contact info for pianist who plays for open mics. Haven't used it yet.

Am watching the trees, still mostly green, swaying in the morning breeze.

Thanks for reading. Grateful for isurvive.

[coconuts]

It sounds like you have some great plans moving forwards. Here cheering you on and sitting with you when it gets tiring and overwhelming.

[there]

Thanks so much,coconuts. I appreciate the encouragement and company.
It’s been up and down. Wouldn’t it be great to have a ‘meltUP’?
I’m try to find outlets for anger besides raising my voice alone here or talking with brother.
It doesn’t help my voice which is supposed to be for music and speaking.
I don’t have to hurt myself.
So when I started to erupt today, I went to the keyboard and started playing and singing nonsensical anger song.
I really have to move this energy to a better place.
And I’m feeling a lot of anger. Just was reminde from a documentary that venting isn’t necessarily good for health.
In a place of “I just don’t know’.

[Noname]

Hi there,

"MeltUP".... I love that. What would that look like, I wonder? Finding healthy outlets for anger (and any other emotion, really) can be tricky, but so important. I think playing/singing an anger song is a great outlet.

[coconuts]

Interesting. I thing letting it out in healthy ways is so good. If not it builds. Anger is a difficult emotion for me to carry. I can't for too long or it eats me up sort of. Usually I turn it inwards and yeah. I'm glad you found healthier ways. I admire the resources and tools for self care you have built. Very inspiring.

[coconuts]

Hey thinking of you. Hoping your week is going well. Made myself a tuna sandwich today.. thought of you lol. Funny the associations we make.

[there]

Should be feeling good about some things.
T just had to get off phone in middle of check-in, 'I have a client,have to go'
Feeling abandonment triggers,
angry about being so alone,
vulnerable to others' concerns here.

[Noname]

Sending tons of care and support, and sitting with you if you'd like. Totally understand the anger at being so alone.

[there]

Oh, Noname,
Thank you so much. I had an afternoon with a friend I met at HS reunion. We went to beach with Tula. It was awesome.
Next day, alone more, and chiropractor, who is good at the physical treatment, but is rude. I’m trained in interpersonal communications. I get dang fed up with people’s ignorance. I don’t want to look for a new one. I’m going to somehow confront him. I didn’t go during the summer because of it. He is a 5 minute walk from where I live.
I’m getting stronger every day.
T always says how resilient I am.
Did a lot to prep for ghost puppets I have created from my own imagination. Next week, Halloween parties at classes. I got libraries to do publicity.
My life, like the show, must go on. Show goes up.
Students who repeatedly fail to listen to my direction will be gone from my class, too.

You matter, too, Noname.