reishas 2019 thread

[Couragetoday]

Hi Reisha,

Thanks for explaining more.
The fact that you know that you need to have boundaries in place with Jo sounds insightful and helpful.
Do you feel like it’s possible to implement, and conversely have them respected?

Only other thoughts that come to mind, if it feels like a relationship you’d like to pursue, would determining length of time per visit, and how often you interact, then sticking to it be helpful ?
Back when I socialized, LOL, there were certain people I really truly did like, but some people took a whole lot of energy to be around it felt like. And so I had to choose the times carefully that I would spend with them.

Crossing my fingers and toes that you get some sleep soon.

CT

[reisha]

Oh, yes!
& thanks for the 'time limit' reminder, too - duh! Id forgotten bout that.
Yer SO spot on w recognizin that sum folx are 'psychic vampires' - maybe thats a bit harsh of a ~label~ for jo - no, its not.but i sence shes an 'honest' vampiire, (unlike gem) - hmm, i posted on yerthread bout similar stuf. I thin jos bs ispersonal, whereas alotta gems is persona bs, if that makes sence?
So, we'd talked earlier in the wk bout doinsumtinfor womens month this wkend. Spent all that time researchin for her. Made (tentitive) plans for tday & the wkend. Saw her last eve in the lobby w others, chatted briefly, but not bout this. Called her a lil later - several times, vm eachtime - wanted to know if we're stillon for tday.... havna heard from her...
Botha us are guilty of not always returnin calls, but this bugs me.ther have been other times/attempts at this, once (when i was still in hotel from flood) i wentto the meet spot, shewas a no show. Tthat pissed me off.
So, im not gonna sit here waitin for her, ive other things to do tday...

Still batlin the 'mno sleep' thing - was up til 630am, then up again at 1030. GRRR!. Hadda minor lil deep thot to share w shrink bout it. Its both body & mind. There the monkeymind, leapin from frets to 'to do', interspersed w the 'home movies'; but alotta it is body ('betrayin me' - a phrase imaybe wanna start thinkin bout stoppin sayin, yano? - to get in a position where my hips are happy makes myarms unhappy. If i get my arms comfy, my backs not. Etc, & on&on.... add in massagin various body parts, applyin pain creams, or tossin self in (yet ANOTHER!) Bath - ive ngotento thepoint where i dont drain tub every time, as its likely i'll bei nNoutta it severaltimes tween midnite & dawn.

[there]

reisha,
Hey! Reading your two newest posts here.
Seems like friendships have there trade-offs. Boundaries are always important. Not easy, for me at least, but very important.
Understandable that you wouldn't want to take on or incur a Bad relationship with the management as part of a friendship.

I'm trying to take sleep hygiene measures more seriously lately. Saying this as I walk carrying computer out of the bedroom Digital living room. I'm trying to keep work and Computer out of the bedroom as much as possible. Also trying to get off of Internet and screen glare by 830 or so. I thought it didn't make much difference if I was watching Netflix movies before bed. It does.
I sleep better with keeping some computer boundaries on myself. Don't know if this might help you.

Hope you can get comfy cozy next bedtime, reisha.
Sending soft, gentle Music, sprinkles of fairy sleep dust...

[Couragetoday]

Hi Reisha,

Psychic vampire. LOL. That’s a good term. I Kinda always felt that the people in my life that seem to have an extreme overflow of energy, while I would feel mine diminish in their presence,I would wonder if they got that flow by “borrowing” from everyone around them. I don’t mean that in a malicious way whatsoever. Just a phenomenon I experienced with several people and wondered.

I would feel bothered also not getting confirmation on plans as the time approaches. I don’t know if you’re still looking for feedback, but sometimes I set a deadline in my head. If I don’t hear back I send a simple text just letting them know I’m assuming our plans are a no go and then I feel free to carry-on, knowing the plans are officially canceled.

I truly understand about the never ending quest for a position that feels comfortable for the entire body. I hope you can find something that feels OK enough to get some much-needed pain relief and relaxation.

Hope your weekend is going well.

CT

[recover]

hi reisha,
no words just offering support and care.
thank you for your caring.
recover xo

[reisha]

Went to a EWOC (empowering women of color) 'allstar' poetry reading w a 'jo' last nite. Sum funny stuff, some... 'expected' stuff, but mostly, lotsa real poignant, beautiful, heartbreaking truth. Now need to contact venue for more info on a coupla-a em.

Id confused the days/times/events a bit, so i retract me fri angst. hoeEVer, sat was .... a diff version of same inna, altho it i was who bowed out. Event close enuff to walk to, from 11 to 4. A call around 1030 from her, straightenin out ffri's misunderstandin, & solidifyin this days plans. She says shes gearin up, needs to check w another (sick) neighbor bout walkin dog, dependin if/how long that takes...., & she'll be down to get me when/ thats dealt w.
Ok, so i start gettin up, 'sloppin myself', dressin, etc..... door buzzes. Here she is, w neighbors dog, to let it visit w sproink. WONder-f'n-ful! Cant really say no, thatour phone convo, i was pretty specific, sayin 'ok, come get me when yer DONE'. So, i kinda view this as ...... a (potential) boundary issue/violation, a bita ..... ~disrepect~ ,( if we're ~ goin ghetto~). She stayed for bout 1/hr, as i kept sayin id like to finish gettin ready, we can dis uss this on the way, lets get goin ..... ifs about 130ish or so by now. She finally leaves, & figger to give it bout another 15 - 20minnits for her to drop ofthe dog..... tick tock goes theclock....... she shows up at 3. Told her im bowin out. By the time we get there,itll be 330ish. Events over at4 .... im nstayn home. She kinda begged, cajoled - pllllllease come, reconsider - this is a latino event, & they dont pay atention to time. Its only white people who're so damn anal bout time.
I thot this remark, in its way, to be as racist as suma her other comments. Who notices, says things this way?!?! This is .... ugliness of diveristy. When it creates even more divsion. - guess my overies are still kinda 'big' from last nites show, lol


So, her anti-black racisim seems to extend mainly to the staff & management here ; &/or can be layed upon anyone she dunna really know - (a *safe* way to overgeneralize & displace sum anger?) - for the flimsiest of (superficial/percieved) reasons. Theres alotta anger there - if her tales are true, shes a survivor too.

So yes, i m still hesitant.- this ...? PURPOSEFUL inviting of .... dysfunction into my life.... otoh, i, too, am a *unique* flower.....

So, other than that, (& the sprinkles, & the COLD! I enjoyed gettin out. The venue is next to my fave irish pub, which is across the strret from my despensary. So. Im sure ya can fil in the blanks, haha. Grabbed a bite & a beer b4 goin in. The poets kinda got my juices re-kicked in, sum ruff drafts startin to form in my head.

Sproink & the pup will hafta wiat foranuther post - i ned to get flat for a few

{{{ISURVIVE!!!}}}}

[Couragetoday]

Hey Reisha.

That’s a lot to consider, and I feel for you.
I’m guessing it would be really nice to have a friend in the building. For lots of reasons.

I am super out of practice socializing, so please bear that in mind with my comments.
To be honest, Just from what you’re Sharing, it sounds like a lot of alarm bells to me.

I spoke to somebody a while ago, about how I am in a position of needing and wanting friendships more than ever in my life, yet at the same time I am the pickiest I’ve ever been.
It’s not to say that I’m looking for “a perfect friend“, that’s not it at all.
Maybe similar to when you’re considering a romantic relationship? There are differences between two people that you learn to adjust to because you care so much about them. And then there are just giant differences in core beleifs that would make the relationship not even possible.
I think we tend to allow a lot more leeway when it comes to friendships....

Is there a certain “level of friendship“ that might feel comfortable, but still allow you to stand in your own integrity and preserve your right to having your boundaries respected?

Awesome to hear that the poetry was inspiring.

Thanks for your support to me. Sending love and comfort.

Couragetoday

[reisha]

Fuck!

Was lookin at wrong pg on my caleder. Missed t tday........

[there]

aaargh!

[Jonesy]

Sympathising with you reisha - have done similar myself and it sucks. Hoping you were able to reschedule and that T was understanding