There's Healing Journey 2018

A discussion area specifically for survivors who suffered physical, emotional, and verbal child abuse. This forum can also be used for Members who suffered sexual abuse at the time of physical, emotional and verbal abuse.

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Fleur
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Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:23 am

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by Fleur » Wed Apr 18, 2018 2:55 am

Hey there


Wonderful news re phone and getting ready for your time away. Wishing you, Tula and S a happy few days


Caring hugs
Onward to a safe community for all people in which to thrive ~ gentle hugs [if okay] ~ Fleur

there
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Posts: 6869
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by there » Fri Apr 20, 2018 1:27 pm

ty, fleur and Wolf Spirit,
Well I'm back.

Wolf spirit it was a vacation. Yes I wanted and I had to take a vacation! :lol:

With S, experience was mixed but mostly good. Turns out she has ADD, she told me. That explains a bunch of things-why it's always about her and she never shuts up. Plus she told me that her mother never paid her one compliment except about a good mark once.

This is the person who stuck her underwear in my face, to insult my face. She's got a lot of crap to deal with. But it comes out on me. She expressed her gratitude for my paying for the vacation and inviting her by cooking a lot. I had told her we could go for seafood I could've paid for food I don't care. I brought a lot of food too, more like instant stuff to eat. she likes to cook.

She keeps the boyfriend who's incredibly needy, has Asperger's and contributes little to their relationship. She says he's incredibly handsome. That's really off-balance.

I get tired of listening. I wanted her for her best friend And told her so. I got myself in deeper, because I'm so lonely and my best friend hurt me so much. So I can be really good to myself get attached to somebody who can't give what I need most, but needs a lot from me.

Can you tell I need a break from S? Plus she says she's macho. That really doesn't help. She's out of touch with her emotions. I do a lot of work in that area so I'm experiencing my emotions regularly and have been for a long time.

Anyways this is all about asked but I just let her tell her story here because she talked my ear off. She can be a lot of fun but she's kind of controlling. And now we have only grown closer.

I'm desperate for a friend. This is what I get. Heavy heavy sigh.

Now my post has only been about S.

Where did I go?
Last edited by Ashia on Fri Apr 20, 2018 6:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Removed potentially identifying information, as per guidelines.
Reach for the stars. ---Christa McAuliffe

wolfspirit
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Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by wolfspirit » Fri Apr 20, 2018 11:51 pm

there,
Your S sounds interesting but also self-involved. That's hard.
Have you ever tried saying, "enough about you let's talk about me, now" ? :)
I have a sister with ADD and BP so I'm always sneaking that in, in a playful way. She will listen genuinely for a little while after that.

I understand wanting a friend. It's hard not to have someone close to confide in and have fun with.
What did your former best friend do, if you don't mind my asking? Judge you? Doubt you?

Hoping your weekend is relaxing and enjoyable.

gentle hugs,

ws
Wounds are where the light enters you.
Rumi

there
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Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by there » Sat Apr 21, 2018 12:34 pm

ws, thanks smooch.
This is also extremely shallow. She shoved her underwear in my face one time. It was done as an insult. She can be really destructive.

She's also paranoid. I told her I couldn't handle that last year. So what kept happening on our 'vacation'? "the FBI are in the car of they're the black car they can't seem to the FBI are in that car. All black car." She's been doing this forever.
I added, "does it have dark windows you can't see into?" That wasn't very nice of me but...

Then she pulled out a pen from her bag." This wasn't like this. Somebody's been doing this again."
Her pill case was opened in the car. " See? They're back. They opened this."

I pointed out that Tula had been walking on pill case to go back and forth from the front seat to the back. I looked on the car floor and picked a pill up.
"is this one of them?"

My mother had schizophrenia. She had paranoid delusions often. I told S about my mother. And that I don't need any more of that. It caused an eight month hiatus In seeing S. Yes I can play it off somewhat.

I don't want my entire life colored by paranoid delusions. I love my mother. But it's a relief not to have that stuff now that she's gone. I deserve some relief. Not round 15.

S has a mean streak a mile wide. Highly critical of others much of the time.

To answer your question, WS, yes I do interject and start to talk about me. I get out a sentence, maybe two. Then it's all about her again she checks over
She dominates. Then I just say I'm talking I was talking to you about something. Could I interrupt you right back and I interrupt her back. Really fun conversation. It we're send it wears thin.

And I need to process it like right here. That's also a lot of fun.

I said it was mostly good because I made a point to relax and have some fun for myself. I wasn't going to let her ruin my vacation.

Will talk about former Best friend another time. Thank you for asking, ws.

Although, it's trying, I have to say I handled S pretty well. Mutual friend,R, agrees that S is tough.
Reach for the stars. ---Christa McAuliffe

wolfspirit
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Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2017 8:56 pm

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by wolfspirit » Sun Apr 22, 2018 4:27 am

there,
I think you are very grounded in yourself and I admire that.
You recognize things for what they are and choose whether or not to accept how they are affecting you.
How did you learn to have strong boundaries and still find the positive things or put your self first?

Thank you for the update.

hugs,

ws
Wounds are where the light enters you.
Rumi

there
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Posts: 6869
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by there » Mon Apr 23, 2018 1:49 pm

ws,
Still finding the positives is it working progress is a work in progress. Some things I'm still going to go over and over, and then remind myself to let go. People really get to me. People laugh at me for no reason. It's hard not to find fault with myself to make a reason.

You see me as having strong boundaries? Why, thank you!

As for putting myself first, it's probably a combination of things, maybe hearing that story about putting on your oxygen mask first before helping others sink in sank in. Maybe it was my dad telling me that I come first and then sometimes he put me first. And I'm tired of going over and over things after-the-fact. So I stand up for myself in the present if I can. It's not easy and it doesn't always happen.

Thank you so much for asking, ws. It really helps to recount it.
Reach for the stars. ---Christa McAuliffe

there
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Posts: 6869
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by there » Mon Apr 23, 2018 7:58 pm

Totally screwed for going to teach today. Cannot find tablet to get uber from.Phone situation has been messed up, too. Could have taken bus, but wanted to get some online work done.

Time to call uber-nontablet to be dug up from anywhere.
I feel so very alone something like this happens. It's never happened. The only thing that's happened is that I can't possibly get there in time.

Can't call brother. He's at work. Texted him.There goes the $ for today.

Not that I'm blaming (name removed), but she told me that she's so disorganized---losing keys for example---that she can't hold down a regular job.
I'm someone who becomes a lot like other people whom associate with.I also have picked up people's symptoms. I had a friend with regular nausea from anxiety. So I developed nausea with the anxiety I already had.

I helped her with her keys---showed her how to link them onto her bag so they would stay with it. She even had a cord in her bag to use right then. That's what I do for mine. Works better than anything else.

Ok, now I'm going to consider all the progress is made. I've made a lot. This isn't the best thing to happen but it's also not the worst. I will probably go to the phone store soon today. I'll get my Smart phone activated. I'm using a flip phone that can't download apps. I didn't want to use my smart phone until my shell for it came in the mail. Looks like I'll need it before then.

Was really looking forward to going to work today.
Last edited by Jonesy on Tue Apr 24, 2018 10:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Removed name to help protect your privacy
Reach for the stars. ---Christa McAuliffe

Fleur
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Posts: 13380
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:23 am

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by Fleur » Tue Apr 24, 2018 2:47 am

Dear there


Sitting quietly with you today


Caring hugs
Onward to a safe community for all people in which to thrive ~ gentle hugs [if okay] ~ Fleur

wolfspirit
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Posts: 1688
Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2017 8:56 pm

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by wolfspirit » Tue Apr 24, 2018 3:25 am

there,
I hate those days where it's not just one thing but another that falls apart, and the plans for the day stop.
Sometimes I tell myself the universe protected me from some accident or painful experience. Prob not true but it helps.

So sorry there was a loss of pay. :(

Hoping the next time you have to go to work it is way smoother.

hugs.

ws
Wounds are where the light enters you.
Rumi

there
Member
Posts: 6869
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: There's Healing Journey 2018

Post by there » Tue Apr 24, 2018 2:35 pm

Fleur,
I always appreciate your presence here. Thank you for sitting with me. The day got better at least some.

ws, thank you for empathizing. I took my smart phone directly to the phone store to get a new Sim card to activate it. Workers a bit rude in the store. What does not kill me, etc.? No I will think of all the nice people to work in that supermarket.
More than the loss of money, I don't want to lose connection with my students or disappoint them. I hope my next class with them is awesome!

Weird thing. I told my brother in a phone call last evening," I wonder what horrific thing happened today that I don't know about yet." Was being facetious. I hadn't read any news. Then at 9:30 PM, I read the New York Times online about Toronto. Sometimes I'm psychic about the cards when I'm playing with a friend. I know when I'm going to get a split, two of a kind.

Watching the YouTube tutorial again and started teaching myself Solace. A lot of timing demands for sure. It may take me a while. It's a big challenge.
Reach for the stars. ---Christa McAuliffe

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