REISHA 2017 (the journey continues...)

[1000miles]

Hi Reisha, Fleur,

I've spent time around people who speak of being blessed, and I've used that kind of wording myself at times. I don't tend to use it much now, because these days it seems to have a "churchy" feeling that I don't particularly like.

But in my experience, when people have said that, I think what they were trying to express was the same basic thing as "grateful" or "thankful." Suppose I'm grateful for the fact that I haven't been in the path of any hurricanes this year. To whom am I grateful? As one who believes in a higher power, I feel gratitude toward that higher power. I feel that my life and safety are gifts from that higher power. If I say I've been "blessed with safe weather," that's just another way of saying the same thing.

For whatever it's worth, I think this is a way that some people are accustomed to expressing feelings like that, and the general intent is to be humble. People say they are "blessed" with good health, a good job, a good family, good circumstances in life. They mean to say they feel fortunate to have those things, and they don't take credit for having them. They give credit to a higher power instead.

I know it's a manner of speaking that has been abused by televangelists and such, and it has acquired negative connotations. It can feel hypocritical, or like bragging in the guise of humility (". . . oh, I'm just so blessed to have a twenty-million-dollar mansion and a large collection of classic cars in my own personal multilevel parking garage . . ."). I get that. I just wanted to say that there are many people who use the word in a neutral way to express the idea of good fortune in the context of their theistic worldview. There's a long history of its use that way. For example: “Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his making friends--whether he may be equally capable of retaining them is less certain.” (Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice, first published in 1813.)

I don't mean to be argumentative, just to offer another perspective. Thanks for listening.

1000miles

[reisha]

1000 miles - no, i dont take yer reply as argumentative, im glad to see ya here! &, i get that folx ~mean~ thankful, or grateful.
see, thing is, words DO matter. & while i cant *expect* everyone to know my quirks, herstory, etc, linguistics has long been a love of mine. i spose its all about how ya define (yer use of) the word(s). most folx dont speak well, despite an often verbose vocabulary.
as to yer 'defense' or perspective, i get that too - for far to long, i hadda prob w/ the word 'god'. i would inwardly cringe. but i get that they ~mean~ higher power, or Multiverse, or .... a thing OUTSIDE of themselves. for the most part, im now over 'god', altho i prefer 'gawd' as far as spelling goes. the whole things difficult, cuz Its All abstract representations that *only* work when folx agree on the meanings. IRL, my (better) friends & i will often stop a convo, to define terms. yes, it can be tedious at times, but in the long run, it makes for deeper, more accurate intimacy & understanding.

fluer - im so glad sum-a what i wrote resonated, ~put a litebulb over yer haid~ - ya put one ove mine, when ya wrote 'i feel inferior' - wow! dingDingDING!!!! thank ya for that, it put a missin piece in place for me

[reisha]

linguini rant part 2:
it has occured t' me that ' i HAFTA......' is kinda <wirst-2-4-haids, get the Fainting (psyche) Couch...> 'victim language'. im working/playing - AKA 'plurking' (workin too hard for it to be 'play', yet playin too hard for it bo be called 'work') w/ this idea, & re-phrasin my statements w/out 'i hafta'. novel concept, kinda hard atm!.
i dont see it that way as much w/ written word, butt!! to HEAR it, its usually inna sumwhat 'whiney' voice, in contexts of larger "po' me" moments.
just my own observation, ymmv, off course!

[Fleur]

Dear Reisha


Words are powerful - someone once commented that putting the 's' at the start makes 'sword'

"I have to " could be rephrased as "I want to" - some things might NEED to be done, whether or not we want to do them, but some times "I want" is enough to change my thinking, as in "do I REALLY want ...?"

Current homework is to tell myself "I deserve ..." It is very difficult when I'm so used to negativity


Caring hugs

[there]

Reisha, totally get the 'I hafta' and maybe changing it to a more helpful phrase. Have been working on that.
Maybe beng grateful can come into play, as I see right now. Maybe I can be grateful that I can do whatever the demand is. Or even, 'I get to...'
'I get to walk outside in fresh air while I take out the recycling'. Lol
It does feel less like punishment when I can do that. Just my experience.