Hey coconuts!
HAIR!!!!! "Grow it, show it, long as I can grow it, my HAIR!" (Talk about some need for healing!! AND letting GO!) I just saw an ad on TV for HeadbandsOfHope dot com and it
triggered me...
A LOT!!
My hair has been an issue with me all my life!!! Born a tow-headed blonde with baby soft
straight hair and green eyes to MD with
STRAIGHT brunette hair and with brown eyes, my hair eventually turned brunette, too, in my thirties to forties. I'm so sorry, but I need to write out my history here and LEAVE IT! It really ties in with my abuse.
Toni home perms for kids - my father's hair was wavy, so she permed my hair when I was VERY little, maybe starting at 1½ yrs. old. We lived in the cottage built in my grandparent's back yard. I think she was afraid that ANYONE would think I wasn't his! Nonsense! I look just like him! The more I study MD's treatment of me (abuse), the more I see just how ABSOLUTELY NUTS she was (and still is). She hated me so much that she'd allow the caustic, sharp smelling permanent solution to run down my forehead and into my eyes and she'd slap me if I squirmed or cried out. SLAPPED ME HARD! TOLD ME TO SHUT UP!! UGH!
She always combed my hair until I was 12 years old ("so you won't mess it up and look stupid!") by yanking my hair ("combing it") and telling me how UGLY I was (the beginning of the name calling). She would place the comb into my tangled hair at the scalp and P-U-L-L!!! All the way to the end of my hair in one slow agonizing pull! It hurt so bad! Then she'd place the comb again in the next area of my scalp and slowly P-U-L-L
ALL the tangles out, and on we'd go! I tried not to scream, but the pain was SO BAD, but if I screamed, I GOT HIT, so I tried to just bear it silently and I cried.
She also laid out what I was to wear and actually dressed me! My father finally put his foot down when I was 12. I think he got tired of hearing us...or maybe he just felt guilty because he'd allowed this to go on and on and on. All the way through high school she still chose my clothes and even did my hair. She even styled, cut, and washed my hair. I was her dolly to dress and display. Bitch is SICK!! When she would wash my hair, she would like waterboard me by pouring gallons of water (sometimes in a bucket) over my face and making me feel like I was drowning! I could not breathe! Needless to say, whenever I heard ♪"time to wash your hair"♫, I freaked out!! If I
begged her, she'd let me use a washcloth to cover my face, but it didn't help much. It was HORRIBLE!
Beauty shop nightmares:
I was about to go into the seventh grade. The HOTTEST hair style was the page boy, long hair in the back in a V-shaped curl. I wanted my hair like that!! It looked so cool! I had long braids that for some reason MD hadn't combed out in a couple of days and they were in a tangled mess. She said to me, "Let the girl there comb it out for you!" I went in alone to the shop, told the lady what it was I wanted, she said ok...and chopped off my braids so she wouldn't have to comb it out!
Then she gave me the most horrible old lady's hairstyle that I later learned that they called a page boy FLUFF, a short hairdo for elderly women!! It wasn't a "misunderstanding". She told me as I stared horrified at my reflection in the mirror that she HAD to cut off my braids since I'd had the audacity to come in there with tangles in my hair and she just didn't want to be bothered combing them out!!! I remember crying all the way home on my bike. SOBBING! School was about to start and my hair looked ridiculous! "OMG! YOU LOOK SO UGLY!!", MD reassured me.
Two years later, I again went in to a beauty operator. This time I wanted "gish curls" with my pony tail, a pin curled slice of hair plastered against my cheeks in front of my ears. VERY chic!
But again this
new bitch simply cut my hair SHORT and did an old fashioned Granny style! I swore I'd never visit a beauty parlor again!!! And I didn't!! And my hair simply grew LONG, down to my waist and beyond! When I married, I simply wrapped up my hair and wore a knitted white turban thing on my head. In 1966, after my DH knocked me down in the street after seeing other women (long story), I became clinically depressed for the first time and didn't comb my hair for months. It was BAD. Again, my hair was lopped off due to the tangles being so bad. Oy! It grew out again. Then people admired my "long hair' (to my waist and below), and that was that. I never cut my hair again until fairly recently.
When I was still in high school, MD decided that she'd send me to MODELING SCHOOL to smooth out my "rough edges",
but when they said that they had to cut off my long hair, I became ME again and stood up defiantly and swore LOUDLY at them before they'd stop harassing me and threatening to cut my hair!! I can be
very colorful that way if properly provoked. I've got quite the vocabulary!
They threw me out and I said GOOD RIDDANCE. So much for a modeling career!
Right out of high school, I "won a scholarship" to a beauty college! A BEAUTY COLLEGE!
ME!!
I had told my parents that I wanted to go to college (imagine how THAT pissed off MD, the high school dropout!!) and I wanted to become a teacher. (I would've been quite good at that, I believe.) But MD said
NO, that I was going to somehow honor this beauty college sales scheme,
and that was that. ME, who never even combed my OWN hair! I knew NOTHING about combing nor styling hair! (I eventually got VERY good at color and manicures, but hair? OMG NO NO NO!!!!) So I went, and it was the disaster I thought it would be. I could do shampoo-sets beautifully, so nicely that anyone else could come along and run a brush through the person's hair
et voila! GORGEOUS! But if I ran MY brush through their hair, they looked like Bill the Cat!
(Google Bill the Cat to see what I mean.) I never bothered to take my state boards and get my license.
I actually went to a shop (in 2009) where they cut my hair, but
with my permission, and it looked really good! I was a bus driver by that time, and was healing emotionally. Then I met N and we became friends. Due to me having a proper hairdo? I don't know.
Then I retired and NEVER cut my hair anymore! I even let my bangs grow out! Now just whenever it gets too long, I pull up the ever-present ponytail and lop it off myself.
"HAIR". OMG. I don't know if I'll get one of those headbands yet. If I want one, I'll get one. I was going to use it to keep the hair out of my eyes while I garden. But I got triggered, just by viewing their website and seeing "how to use it". So many pretty hairstyles can be made with these things. Shall I cover up my hair again? Shall I try braiding it? I have to ponder this. HAIR. Good grief!!
===================================(next day)
coconuts wrote: ↑Thu Sep 10, 2020 2:07 am
Well your garden likely looks better than ours. We didnt plant one this year. Its just a dirt and weed patch.
Sounds like my front yard! I gave up on having a lawn. I worked, and even had a sprinkler system, but no one else bothered to fix it up or mow it. I PAID to reseed my lawn about a dozen times (literally!) but no one would water it, not my DS or DD when she was living here. I'd come home to a CRUNCHY dead lawn so many times and I finally just gave up. I'm putting in paving stones eventually (I think). As soon as the elections over and COVID has passed enough. A lawn just seems so silly and unproductive to me anymore.
Now the BACK yard, that's different. It looks like a jungle out there!! And it's
all whippy weeds! But they are GREEN and have lovely big purple trumpet flowers on them. Invasive as heck, but green and purple are EVERYWHERE! They've covered the fence, the trees, are crawling up the legs of the strawberry planters, it's AWFUL! But my handy-dandy box cutter knife (just a razor blade in a handle) cuts the crap out of them!
Trouble is, the air is so smoky that it looks like FOG here. We are safe from the fires, but like I said, they're "semi-distant". Not really close, but close enough! The ash is settling everywhere, even inside my house (dust) and outside it's just crazy.
I dare not go outside, not right yet. My plants are arriving this next Monday and Wednesday. YIKES. I hope they'll be ok. Even inside the house, my eyes are burning and my voice is rough.
coconuts wrote: ↑Thu Sep 10, 2020 2:07 am
We have been super cold. We went from 90degree weather on monday to 50s on tuesday and today.
You must be near CO. (No need to answer that.) I heard that on the news about a severe weather switch for that general area.
coconuts wrote: ↑Thu Sep 10, 2020 2:07 am
The fires are intense. Im just a state away hundreds of miles away and still so much smoke and even ash.
Yep, I understand. We're much closer than that to them. In fact, we are sort of surrounded, but it's hundreds of miles away on either side of us. So if the wind blows east, we get smoke. And if the wind blows west, we get smoke.
We get this every year, but this year it just keeps on keeping on.
coconuts wrote: ↑Thu Sep 10, 2020 2:07 am
I used to have a bread cutting guide. Loved that thing
If you can't locate it, try eBay. They seem to have everything! They may call it "vintage", but they may just have it...IF you can't find it. And don't forget the 12" bread knife. It totally does the job! No squished loaves! And it won't hurt your bread cutting guide.
coconuts wrote: ↑Thu Sep 10, 2020 2:07 am
Right now im just going doe healthier. More fruits and veggies, less processed stuff and less sweets.
Sounds good to me! That's about what I do (except for the fruit). I've been doing this for almost 3 yrs. now. I began in Nov. 2017. For me, Keto isn't a diet (especially with the "timed eating windows" or intermittent fasting); it's more like a life style. I'll keep eating like this forever. There's no end for me. I've never felt healthier, and for me, that's the point. The weight loss is like secondary.
coconuts wrote: ↑Thu Sep 10, 2020 2:07 am
More fruits and veggies, less processed stuff and less sweets.
I've found that Walmart (of all places!) has frozen veggies in little microwavable bags, some seasoned, some not, that are SO convenient to use (but still cheap)! Even frozen cauliflower rice (think fried rice!) and stir fry combos that I can have (and they deliver). They are SO GOOD and I use tamari sauce (no wheat, hence gluten free for the H), garlic, ginger, and a little chicken bouillon + water mixed in as a sauce for it (and scramble an egg in the side of the skillet for the fried rice). SO GOOD! And they sell a HUGE bag of skirt steak that my DS loves and I slice it up on the bias into little pieces and throw some of my "Chinese sauce" in and stir fry it. This is the easiest way of eating that I've ever done. And my mind is always open to new (and usually exciting) things! Keep up
your good work. Every little bit counts.
coconuts wrote: ↑Thu Sep 10, 2020 2:07 am
Not used to being on my feet 10 hours a day
Wow! That sounds like exercise in and of itself!
coconuts wrote: ↑Thu Sep 10, 2020 2:07 am
My parents do keto and sister. I like my carbs way too much to jump on board.
If they'd like my bread recipe, I'd be happy to share it. Just say the word...if they'd like to view it on youtube, Google keto king bread and it'll pop up, but the recipe isn't written down.
Honeybera