Reaching out for a bit of support

[PeacefulNinja]

Hi FB,

Wow your post is such an inspiration. You have had such insights and grown so much. I love that you are doing crossstitch for you. That is awesome. I am very sad that your ex "regrets" his son. I hope your ex experiences growth like you so your son won't feel his father's regret. Our children are our greatest gift.

Stitch away dear FB

PeacefulNinja

[fightinback]

Thank you for your kind thoughts PeacefulNinja, Harmony and Fleur.

Fleur, my son is now 13, nearly 14. I have no idea where the time went.

Ex H is unfortunately not one of the nice guys. He is a narcissist and I am very very aware that even now, his behaviour is at times unwelcome. I have to have extremely firm boundaries with him which I stick to without any give - our conversations are only ever through email (which gives me the time and space I may need to ground myself if he triggers me intentially or not, and also proof of conversations if I ever need it), and only ever about our son. He does at times try to push those boundaries as a child would, and I am aware that he is testing to see if the boundary has moved. It never does. This is how I keep myself safe.

It's interesting you say about him being one of the men who live off another person... I have seen that pattern myself with his relationship to me and girlfriends since. Before I knew him I had a good job, my own house, a car, and many friends. Today... I have (my) son, and beginning again. The girlfriend that followed me was very similar in history, possessions and support circle - she is also beginning again, with two children. The girlfriend he currently has may come from a much wealthier background, but unlike either of us before, she has a good solid strong family around her. I sincerely hope this will be the difference for her. I am the only one (to my knowledge - past or present) who has a child with him, and previous marriage.

Hope you are well and have had a good few days with your son, and that you have a new solution to your washing machine. Take care.

[Sequoia]

Hi FB,
I like how you're noticing patterns and also how you've set boundaries and stuck to them!
Just a little sideline cheering
Sequoia

[fightinback]

Thank you Sequoia

Boundaries are very important because it shows others that you have respect and belief for yourself, and in return I have respect for those around me. My boundaries are sometimes specific for different people as in ex h, or the woman who lives above me, but on the whole I am warm, welcoming and approachable because that is the core of who I am - I'm just not prepared to be walked over any more.

Patterns are interesting aren't they! Patterns to me mean a lesson is being taught that (I) haven't grasped (yet). Patterns make me look into something more deeply to try to find out why... and what can I do about it. I am acutely in tune now with my body and what is going on around me, and it keeps me safe and well.

[Fleur]

Dear FB

Thank you for your messages about your son and former H

Great that you have set strong boundaries

Safe hugs

[Xanthia]

Hi FB,

Here's to a very happy birthday, followed by a great year.
May you have everything necessary for your healing journey.

Warm regards,

[fightinback]

Aww Thank you for your thoughts and wishes Xanthia.

I hope you are well. xx

[recover]

Happy Birthday Fightinback!!!
warmly,
recover

[fightinback]

Thank you for your blessings recover.

Hope you are also well. xx