On the Chessboard 2021

[coconuts]

Oh no chessgirl, how awful. I pray this will end soon for you. What a nightmare. I have to remind myself that times like these do pass. It doesn't really help in the moment, but looking back im like, " good lord that was awful. So glad that is over. "

I hate how those times also seem to drudge up the past. I think when I'm there that a part of me fully believes i deserve it all. Truth is i didnt and i don't. But it feels like proof over and over. You don't deserve this. Those old friends from back when didn't deserve you. Success can be defined very differently. They may be drs and lawyers but i promise they have their own struggles too. Ive seen drs and lawyers with families that fall apart. That are abusive. That suffer with addictions. No one has it perfect.
You have a lot going on. Yes you are sick, and struggling. Yes you have suffered in the past. But. You have an amazing fiancé who loves you and adores you even when he knows all your shortcomings. You have a little girl who loves you and adores you and just wants her mommy to be okay again. She doesn't understand but oh does she love you. You have a baby growing in your belly and you love and adore it so much you are suffering thru all this for its sake. She or he depends on you and you are fighting thru each day for him/her. You are brave and strong and a survivor. You have overcome so much already in your life. You are doing so much. You see things others do not. You know things and understand things. And you are fighting for the best life for you and your kids. I admire you and your persistence.

Coconuts

[Chessgirl]

Thank you coconuts. I found your reply very hopeful and it even brought tears to my eyes. I needed the reminder that I’m fighting through each day for the little one growing inside me. This little one needs me so I have to pull through for him/her. My daughter and fiancé still love me so that has to be a joyous thing. I appreciate you taking the time to reply so thoughtfully.

[Chessgirl]

At the ER again. Been here 7 hours and still throwing up with the medicine and fluids. I’m Retching and throwing up bile and blood... they are going to try a couple other medicines for the nausea and if I’m still throwing up after that they are going to commit me. On top of this I’m sick with a respiratory infection so I can barely breath. My poor fiancé has work tomorrow at 8 but has been here in the Room with me the whole time. Now he’s trying to sleep in a small chair. I feel so bad for him. I’ve never been here this long ... thanks for listening

[plantsandtigers]

Hi Chessgirl,

I'm so sorry to hear about your sickness and how difficult it has been while your fiance is sick too. It's so hard to look after our minds when our bodies are so sick. You are a survivor and a wonderful support on this forum, so I hope we can give you that support back in bucketloads during these tough times.

I hope you and your fiance are getting some rest. Thinking of you, your fiance, your little girl and your baby.

plantsandtigers

[coconuts]

Oh thats awful im so sorry chessgirl. What a nightmare this has all been. Maybe if they admit you they can find something that helps and some relief. Hypermesis is no joke. People think all sorts of things but they cannot imagine that level of sick, exhaustion, pain, etc. It consumes your whole life.

How many weeks are you?

Im thibking of you tons and hoping for the best

Coconuts

[Chessgirl]

Thank you for responding plantsandtigers and coconuts,

I’m 11 weeks. They did not admit me as I finally stopped vomiting but I think that was because I simply had nothing left in me. Sent me home with 2 different nauSea medications. Saw my doctor today and again he said there’s not much they can do and that the baby looks fine so far. I’m having a better day today and I’m hoping it will continue to be like this. I appreciate you all giving me support and comfort. It really helps to know people care.

[coconuts]

Oh i do hope it starts easing up for you soon. It's so awful. Sending all the good energy and vibes i can

[dancingfish]

Aw Chessgirl, I'm sorry it's so rough for you at the moment. Here sending you soothing vibes, hoping it eases for you. All the care and support in the world to you. :)

[Chessgirl]

Thank you dancingfish and coconuts! I appreciate you both very much

[plantsandtigers]

Hi Chessgirl,

I'm glad to hear you've been feeling a bit better, hopefully you are through the worst of it now. I hope you can get some rest and are surrounded by people who are good to you.

plantsandtigers