What my new life will look like
Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:32 am
I wrote this for myself the other night and I'm gonna read it on good days and bad days. I want it to remind me why I need to stay away no matter what he tries to do how much fear I go through in my recovery from his abuse.
WHAT I CAN HAVE IN MY LIFE WITHOUT (ABUSER)
I CAN GO TO UNIVERSITY
I CAN HAVE DEEP CONVERSATIONS WITH OTHERS
I CAN BE KIND AND BE WITH KIND PEOPLE
I CAN GET MY LICENSE AND A CAR AND TRAVEL ANYWHERE
I CAN LAUGH AND BE HAPPY
I WILL HAVE TRUE FREEDOM
I CAN CHOOSE MY OWN FRIENDS
I CAN RELAX WHEN IM AROUND PEOPLE AND BE MYSELF
I CAN STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE I DON’T LIKE
I DONT HAVE TO ASK PERMISSION FOR ANYTHING
I DONT HAVE TO FEEL ANXIOUS IN MY OWN HOUSE
I WONT BE YELLED AT EVERY DAY OVER NOTHING
I DONT HAVE TO BE SCARED OF VIOLENCE
I CAN TEACH MY KIDS RIGHT FROM WRONG
I WILL NEVER FEEL LIKE A HOSTAGE OR PRISONER
I DONT HAVE TO PRETEND IM OKAY WITH APPALLING COMMENTS, ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIOURS
I CAN SAY HOW I FEEL AND PEOPLE WILL LISTEN
I WILL HAVE ALL MY BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS BACK
I DONT HAVE TO HAVE CRIME AND BULLYING AROUND ME
I CAN LEARN ITS OKAY TO HAVE FRIENDS THAT ARE MALE
I CAN KICK TOXIC PEOPLE OUT OF MY LIFE STRAIGHT AWAY
I CAN GET A JOB AND SOCIALISE WITH MY WORKMATES
I CAN GO OUT WHENEVER I WANT AND DONT HAVE TO TELL SOMEONE EVERY SINGLE THING IM DOING
I WILL EVENTUALLY LEARN TO BE EXCITED AGAIN WHEN MY PHONE RINGS INSTEAD OF ANXIOUS OR ANGRY
I WILL BE AROUND PEOPLE THAT HAVE COMMON INTERESTS AS ME
I WONT BE ISOLATED FROM THE WORLD
I CAN SPEND MY MONEY HOWEVER I WANT
I WILL HAVE A VOICE AND PEOPLE WILL RESPECT IT
I WILL HAVE RESPECT FROM EVERYONE I ASSOCIATE WITH
I WONT HAVE PEOPLE WHO ARE MANIPULATIVE IN MY LIFE
MY MENTAL HEALTH WILL BEGIN TO RECOVER AND PEOPLE IN MY LIFE WILL SEE ME AS HAVING A HEALTHY MIND AND BALANCED EMOTIONS
I WILL NOT SUFFER EXTREME ANGER TOWARDS PEOPLE BECAUSE THOSE AROUND ME WILL TREAT ME WELL
I WILL HEAL AND LEARN TO TRUST PEOPLE AGAIN
IF I EVER ENTER ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP IN THE FUTURE MY PARTNER WILL BE KIND, CARING AND RESPECTFUL LIKE ME
SEX WILL NOT BE A CHORE THAT I FORCE MYSELF TO DO
I WONT HAVE TO LISTEN TO AN ADULT HAVING TEMPER TANTRUMS OR RAGES EVERY DAY
WHAT I CAN HAVE IN MY LIFE WITHOUT (ABUSER)
I CAN GO TO UNIVERSITY
I CAN HAVE DEEP CONVERSATIONS WITH OTHERS
I CAN BE KIND AND BE WITH KIND PEOPLE
I CAN GET MY LICENSE AND A CAR AND TRAVEL ANYWHERE
I CAN LAUGH AND BE HAPPY
I WILL HAVE TRUE FREEDOM
I CAN CHOOSE MY OWN FRIENDS
I CAN RELAX WHEN IM AROUND PEOPLE AND BE MYSELF
I CAN STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE I DON’T LIKE
I DONT HAVE TO ASK PERMISSION FOR ANYTHING
I DONT HAVE TO FEEL ANXIOUS IN MY OWN HOUSE
I WONT BE YELLED AT EVERY DAY OVER NOTHING
I DONT HAVE TO BE SCARED OF VIOLENCE
I CAN TEACH MY KIDS RIGHT FROM WRONG
I WILL NEVER FEEL LIKE A HOSTAGE OR PRISONER
I DONT HAVE TO PRETEND IM OKAY WITH APPALLING COMMENTS, ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIOURS
I CAN SAY HOW I FEEL AND PEOPLE WILL LISTEN
I WILL HAVE ALL MY BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS BACK
I DONT HAVE TO HAVE CRIME AND BULLYING AROUND ME
I CAN LEARN ITS OKAY TO HAVE FRIENDS THAT ARE MALE
I CAN KICK TOXIC PEOPLE OUT OF MY LIFE STRAIGHT AWAY
I CAN GET A JOB AND SOCIALISE WITH MY WORKMATES
I CAN GO OUT WHENEVER I WANT AND DONT HAVE TO TELL SOMEONE EVERY SINGLE THING IM DOING
I WILL EVENTUALLY LEARN TO BE EXCITED AGAIN WHEN MY PHONE RINGS INSTEAD OF ANXIOUS OR ANGRY
I WILL BE AROUND PEOPLE THAT HAVE COMMON INTERESTS AS ME
I WONT BE ISOLATED FROM THE WORLD
I CAN SPEND MY MONEY HOWEVER I WANT
I WILL HAVE A VOICE AND PEOPLE WILL RESPECT IT
I WILL HAVE RESPECT FROM EVERYONE I ASSOCIATE WITH
I WONT HAVE PEOPLE WHO ARE MANIPULATIVE IN MY LIFE
MY MENTAL HEALTH WILL BEGIN TO RECOVER AND PEOPLE IN MY LIFE WILL SEE ME AS HAVING A HEALTHY MIND AND BALANCED EMOTIONS
I WILL NOT SUFFER EXTREME ANGER TOWARDS PEOPLE BECAUSE THOSE AROUND ME WILL TREAT ME WELL
I WILL HEAL AND LEARN TO TRUST PEOPLE AGAIN
IF I EVER ENTER ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP IN THE FUTURE MY PARTNER WILL BE KIND, CARING AND RESPECTFUL LIKE ME
SEX WILL NOT BE A CHORE THAT I FORCE MYSELF TO DO
I WONT HAVE TO LISTEN TO AN ADULT HAVING TEMPER TANTRUMS OR RAGES EVERY DAY