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good things happening

Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2018 8:43 pm
by kirchnercolors
i’ve been doing a lot better recently. i started seeing a new therapist at the sexual asssault centre in my city, and opened up to her about all the online sex stuff i was doing. ‘was’ is the key word here - i haven’t for 3 or so months, and haven’t self harmed in maybe 4. i went from doing both multiple times a day to not at all. my new t and i are focusing on the abuse, unlike my old t where i barely mentioned it. i think this is good for me. i’ve been practicing my grounding skills and monitoring my thougts, emotions and behaviours. i just feel content in general, which is strange. i’ve never been consistently happy. i’m kind of scared of it. i was just so comfortable wallowing in my sadness. it’s also hard when you don’t feel like you deserve these good things happening to you. i try not to think about it, though, and just attempt to enjoy what’s happening in the moment. thanks for reading.

Re: good things happening

Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2018 8:56 pm
by Harmony
May I just say:


Thankful you are receiving the care you so needed. Keep on healing

with care,

Re: good things happening

Posted: Thu May 03, 2018 8:02 pm
by kirchnercolors
harmony, i feel the same way: hallelujah!
so i went out for lunch with some friends, and had a really nice time. i wasn’t thinking when we were out. now i’m thinking.
i’m so scared of getting better. my whole life up to this point has been sadness and pain. you guys probably don’t remember this, but around last june i made a post saying i was sitting in a grassy alley. i’m back in that alley, sitting with the birds chirping and wind blowing and ants crawling on me. i’m terrified. i don’t want to go back to that place i was last time i layed down here. i know that emotions come and go. i know that i’m not supposed to think about when it will end, but i can’t help it. i just need comfort right now. the sun feels nice on my face, i will try to focus on that. thanks for reading.