Will be off the forum for a while, unless I change my mind!

[EasyStreet]

Hi all,

I addressed this in my latest post on "Between a Rock and Hard Place". I'll be reading less frequently, and keeping my own counsel (aka not spewing my emotions all over you when I know how much you are hurting on your own, yourself, even though I know the rules say that's ok).

I'm trying to dwell in a smaller, more protected emotional container, and focus on my real life marriage. I'm a work in progress and I'll be back. Much respect and regard, and well, in the purest sense, love to all.

See you further on down the river. Best to all. and I mean all.

isurvive!!!

[coconuts]

Good luck and well wishes to you on this part of your journey.

[EasyStreet]

Delayed response, my friend (I hope!) coconuts,

I'm starting to think that I am changing back into something more like I was before I had all these inner revelations and therapy about my childhood and life. I had a lot of three to 12ish year old emotions that needed to be expressed to someone who loved and/or accepted me. My T and isurvive provided the ears and hearts that I needed. My wife may be entering a place where she can hear me too. I will never be the same, I know that.

I'm starting to see that my wife has just as poor a handle on things as I do, she just expresses it in a different way, maybe a toxic for me way).

Imagine living with someone with a skin condition that is toxic to you. Imagine being on a desert island. How do you cope? We're figuring out how to do that, I hope.

For the souls, hearts, struggles, tears, emptyness and hurt that I know are reading my words, I send hope and a call to persist. To persevere, and keep on keepin' on.

Watching the sun rise in the morning is a good ritual if you make it so.

Ttyl coconuts and all!

[coconuts]

It sounds like there is a lot of growth and soul-searching in your home.

I relate in so many ways. That even though my husband is toxic for me in many ways that there is also a need to keep this relationship. It isn't ALL bad. It's just a work in progress. Messy. Painful. Eventually there will need to be couples t.

Keep up the great work you are doing. So healing for you and your family.