Counselling

[Magpie]

I have counselling in a few weeks time, it’s an initial meeting says it will be 2 people there-one to take notes. Says in the paperwork they will ask questions about my family.

I’m feeling pretty anxious and scared about it, fear of a snowball affect of me having to tell my partner, or work about the counselling. Scared about what they will ask and If I’m triggered how I will react? Not sure if I’m ready but then will I ever be? Feels like I’m betraying my family. Plus my experience wasn’t that bad? No where near as bad as some other people’s experiences.

Feels like I’m about to jump into the abyss.

Sorry for the rant just need to talk x

[EasyStreet]

Hi Magpie,

Don't know if you have a private or government-managed system, but if government, it can create a kind of invasive process, if you know what I mean. Under Medicare in the US, the first visit is really just getting data to put in government forms. The note taking bothers me a little bit, maybe they do that to capture all that bureaucratic info up front so it doesn't slow down getting you some real help, that would make it a good thing.

If it is truly therapeutic, an appropriate answer to a question might be "I'm not ready to go there." And it should be honored by the therapist. Otherwise I would run, not walk, to the door.

When I was ready to go there, it was the release of a great burden I had carried all my life. Your schedule, that's what counts.

If you need to terminate the interview, do it. You don't have to put up with any more than you want to deal with.

I try to be realistic. Yes it's gonna be very stressful. Put on your armor (I'm not ready to go there) and carry your sword (I'm terminating this session), and see what the energy feels like. I mean, you could actually practice visualizing your own version of armor and sword (might be butterflies or anything!) and in a relaxed state just be with that vision, you with your "stuff" whatever your stuff is (good, safe, protective stuff, I mean). Carry that relaxation and stuff with you as much as you can. Carry it into the session with you.

Easy to say harder to do. But it might help. If not, just ignore, but I'm still backing you up.

[Magpie]

Many thanks, it rings true “letting go some of the burden I’ve been carrying” and yes it does indeed feel like just that. And I thought about it today if I just walk away and try to get on with things I would regret not having the courage to do so.

I will force myself to go on the day, because I don’t like to give up on something, and I owe it to myself or rather my “younger self” to let her be heard and to make sense of all of this.

And the kindest part about all this and what makes falling into the abyss that little less scary is that I know there are so many of you going through similar things, and I’ll be doing it for that reason to. We are the truth tellers, although a hard path and a long one at that to follow.

Thanks again x

[quixote]

Magpie,
It is a scary experience. See how it goes. Maybe the two notetakers will really care about you.
quixote