Does anybody ever get angry here??

[Flifflo]

Is there some proper place to angry vent here? Seems like maybe that’s not ok here? If there is some thread or proper place for that please let me know. I have some anger to process.

Thanks, Flifflo

[Harmony]

Sure vent away... so long as it isn't directed at us. J/k all emotions are welcome within the site guidelines.

with care,
Harmony

[reisha]

Hi flifflo

Theres a new thread called 'hippies freaks & psycheadelic misfits' that mite work

Sending gentle support

[coconuts]

Just warn us in the title and with triggers and " tell" away

[Flifflo]

Great!! Imma review those guidelines and then hit-up Reisha’s “Hippies, Freaks and Psychaedelic misfits”. Sounds just about right. Thanks for the direction! And the support. Flifflo

[Flifflo]

Hello again,

Re-read the guidelines. Slept well enough. Don’t feel so rage filled this morning. Last night I drove for 2 hours going back and forth on the freeway listening to loud screamy-rage filled music. It felt good. I am angry. I was full of profanity and words in all caps that I wanted to express. Seems like I have to be careful about that here. Not really feeling it anymore this morning anyway. I drove through my old neighborhood where I grew up. Wanted to rage through it Godzilla style and wreck the whole thing.

I am pissed at my abuser for what he did to me. I’m pissed at my dad for neglecting me and making me vulnerable to someone who would abuse me. I am pissed at my mom for allowing all this to happen and then minimizing my pain and suffering. I am pissed at all of them. Last night I was mad at my brother too for not believing me when I told him right after it happened. I never spoke of it again until I was an adult. Now I’m not mad at my brother. He was a child too. But maybe I’m still a little mad at him.

I’m pissed that he ( my abuser) fundamentally changed my life and all my subsequent interactions (especially with teenage boys). So much of my behavior throughout my entire life makes sense now (given what he did to me)
He took so much from me in that one Summer.

I say all this, realizing that there are people here who suffered so much worse than me and I realize these feelings I’m having aren’t unique. It’s just that I am just now grasping how much this person (these people) screwed me up and I can’t get that back. And I don’t know how to be any different than I am now. And that sucks. I think that’s it for now. The rage is gone for now, at least. Still angry and disappointed. And alone. And I was able to express some of my rage with a couple 3D friends who can relate to me because of their own traumas. Which sucks. How many people (women) I know that have suffered trauma. That pisses me off too. But we have each other and that is nice right now so I guess I’m not totally alone even tho i still sort of feel that way. Maybe because their trauma s didn’t happen as a young child and mine did. Shaping my whole reality. Thanks for listening, Flifflo

[Flifflo]

And thanks for the warm invite to your thread Reisha. I appreciate it and it felt nice to be invited. I looked and I felt like my stuff wasn’t appropriate there. I appreciate all of your responses Coconuts and Harmony also. Thank you. Warmly, Flifflo

[Kenazandisaz]

Hi Flifflo, sounds like you have plenty to be angry about, and you're finding healthy ways to manage your feelings.

My understanding of the guidelines is that ragey, caps filled, sweary tirades are fine (as long as they aren't directed at another member and identifying details are left out) as long as the appropriate trigger marker is used. If that rage circles back round feel free to rant. It's so much better to rant somewhere where people get it. I love to see anger well vented. To see hurt people being on their own side and full of fighting spirit is a joy to behold. It's a completely normal and reasonable response to abuse, and all too often one which is squashed, censured and disallowed. Especially for those who are identified as female.

You do you, and I'll be listening. Even if you get ragey and swear a lot. How you feel is ok and you are allowed to express it.

[Flifflo]

Thank you for that Kenasandisaz. I enjoy a good rage rant as well (ie. Beyoncé the queen of many things including spectacular rage rants in her music). Was hoping to find some here I could relate to. To clarify, can I actually spell out swear words as long as I have the correct trigger warning?

Today I am feeling exhausted. I don’t think my raginess is gone for good. That was a lot of adrenaline going through my body last night. I had to just drive as I couldn’t come home to my family like that. I expect it has taken its toll for the time being. Thank you for listening. That is good to know. Appreciatively, Flifflo

[reisha]

So glad to read yer worked it out. The thread i suggested isna really bout 'hippiefests'. But its just getting started.

I too, get REALLY pissed at the exact same things. My foo-fam was .....
Well, yes. Theyre a ' was' i 'divorced' them many decades ago.
Im so sorry to know yer suffering, abuse.

LOVE that ya drive, listenin to angry music!!!! ( do be careful, tho, m'k?)
Sendin gentle support