New and confused...

[softsong]

Hi, it’s good to be here. I read wings’ ‘For the Newbies’ post when i first joined a while ago, and experienced such profound gratitude that this forum exists. So thanks to the founders and everyone else for making it happen.

I’ve struggled for a while to take the next step and introduce myself, mainly because i hate the fact that all i seem to have to say is so bitter and self-pitying these days. I’ve generally been a fairly cheerful person on the outside up until recently, but i’ve almost completely run out of energy for that now, so unfortunately i’m not anywhere near my best as i say hi today. I’m guessing that’s the case for many forum members.

I’m going through a pretty specific issue at the moment that has been making me extra anxious and disorientated. It’s about my current friendships and how let down and disappointed by them i feel… and confusion as to whether i’m even ‘right’ to feel this way, because i know an awful lot of my reactions to other people are coming from trauma. For all i know, all of them may be. I can't seem to tell any more.

I’m sorry to get right to the asking for help, but other than when i’m working, this is pretty much the only thing on my mind, and it’s starting to totally overwhelm me. Can anyone tell me where the best place would be to post about my issue?

Thank you, wishing you wellness.

[Serenity]

Hi and welcome, softsong. I'm glad you're here, and that you posted. As for where to post, you could keep posting here in the Open Forum, or if you want to post in an area that is only viewable by members, you could post in Our Stories or Relationships. I look forward to seeing you around.

With care,
Serenity

[softsong]

Thanks for the welcome and the clarification Serenity

[Jonesy]

Hi softsong

A warm welcome from me too

[quixote]

Hi softsong,
Welcome. I hope you can find what you need here.

[sumpuella]

I’m going through a pretty specific issue at the moment that has been making me extra anxious and disorientated. It’s about my current friendships and how let down and disappointed by them i feel… and confusion as to whether i’m even ‘right’ to feel this way, because i know an awful lot of my reactions to other people are coming from trauma. For all i know, all of them may be. I can't seem to tell any more.

I’d say that you and I are very similar in this area. I have been living a lie since I was 5 years old. I adapted to accommodate as a result of my abuse which means I hide my feeling. Still do. I question everyone and trust none. So, yes. I think it’s perfectly right for us to react in this way at this time. I lash out, develop resentment and feel broken. I’d say that most of the time I’m disappointed with myself. I also realize that our recovery will allow us to change our patterns so we can be free. I’m not there yet, but am trying.