Hello from a New Member

[blueskyblues]

Hello,

I am turning 29 later this year. I am unmarried and without kids for the moment, but I may be entering a new relationship before too long (but am trying to not rush things to establish boundaries and protect myself). I was diagnosed late in life in the last 1.5 years (long after graduating from university) with autism, PTSD, and clinical depression (with generalized anxiety and OCD also being thrown in). I am a survivor of years of stalking and sexual harassment from an upperclassman with a history of sexual violence. I am also a survivor of sexual assault from strangers. I recently got out of a relationship with someone who was very interested and kind to me but confessed 4 months into us going on dates to being accused and convicted in a non-criminal tribunal of sexual assault just three years prior. Due to the moral ramifications of this revelation (like the fact that I could never get the victim's side of the story), how pronounced my emotional burnout has been independent of that, how triggering the situation was proving to be for me the more I processed everything, and the totality of all of the red flags in general, I ended things quite suddenly only very recently (like this week). Other difficult experiences that have affected me include but are not limited to emotional abuse, physical assault (from a co-worker), etc. There are other traumas that contribute to my stress, but I do not want to dump everything here all at once.

I joined because I have felt very isolated in my experiences and would benefit from being part of a positive, affirming community interested in uplifting survivors. I am looking for support right now, and I would like to contribute to creating a positive atmosphere conducive to healing and compassion on this platform. I take this seriously, and I believe that everyone should always be treated with respect, open-mindedness, and care (while also stressing that abusers be held accountable and that the severity of their harms not ever be trivialized). I hope this helps. I am feeling very anxious but cautiously optimistic. Thank you for reading. I tried to minimize triggering details, but I have this listed as yellow MT (rather than green NT) just to be safe.

[greendreamdays]

Hi Bluesky! Welcome. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry for what you have been through, sounds like there is a lot going on. I'm glad you are taking steps to take care of yourself. I hope you can find the support here that you are looking for. Dating is tough. I don't have much wisdom or experience with it, I kind of avoid it myself while I work on my own stuff but admire people who can heal and have an evolving and healthy romantic relationship at the same time.

I tried to minimize triggering details, but I have this listed as yellow MT (rather than green NT) just to be safe.

You can share as much or as little as you are comfortable with. In this space you don't have to hold back to avoid triggering people as long as you put the right trigger tags with it. And the moderators periodically change the trigger rating of posts as they see fit. I don't know if you have ever been to a trauma group or individual trauma therapy, but being able to disclose those details can be really healing. Whatever you feel comfortable sharing we will be here to listen. Glad you are here.

[Crow]

Hi blueskyblues,

Welcome to isurvive.
I hope you settle in quickly and find this to be a safe and caring community.

Crow

[Harmony]

Welcome to you blueskyblues,

So glad you got your first post out of the way. Sorry for the reasons you are here but glad to meet you.

Harmony

[Jonesy]

Hi blueskyblues

A very warm welcome from me too