Thinking of everyone

[amg]

Hi Nelll

[quixote]

Hi Nelll,
Hope that you are doing well.

[Nelll]

Hi Amg,
I'm sorry I didn't respond on here.. I know I said I normally do, and I haven't. I'm sorry.
I hope you're okay.

Quixote,
Thank you for checking in, I hope you're doing well.

Suicidal thoughts TW
In all honesty, I have been falling down a dark hole for a little while. All the recent events have made me feel like I'm falling faster and harder than I was. I feel very suicidal (I'm okay) I just feel so worthless and sad. Realising my trauma effects everything I do. Realising I've done nothing but search for someone to love me for years. Since I was 12 I don't think I've spent more than 4 months as a single person. Not truly.
I just feel so, so sad. Anxious all of the time. I feel like I want to feel something else, but I can't go back to that. I was scratching at my hands when I was last out in public and they's started to bleed. I hope I can get through this soon. I'm very tired. So tired.

Nelll

[amg]

Nelll I just got out of my t trauma therapy session about an hour ago. It was a difficult session. My therapist had to do 2 exercises with me to get me calmed down. did butterfly tapping and body relaxation while usi deep breathing. I told my therapist I

[dancingfish]

Thinking of you, Nelll. Much caring to you, it's so hard but you do deserve better things. Sit here with me for a bit if you'd like, I'd appreciate your company. amg too if okay to ask. :) Listening to soothing sounds, taking a break from the world.

[Nelll]

Hi Amg,
I'm sorry to hear your therapy session was hard work. Well done for getting through it and being brave.

Dancingfish, thank you for your kind words. I had a moment of giving in when I went home. But I picked myself up and started to work out. I had a moment of peace where I just had to do what was best for me and not feel bad about it. It was a moment I had not experienced before when it comes to this situation. I've been crying for weeks.
I'm sitting with you now, if you're around?

All the best,
Nell

[amg]

Thank you

[dancingfish]

Sitting with you, Nelll! And my word that is a powerful moment there - doing what is best for you, and being okay with that. Well done you!

[Nelll]

Hi Amg,
I hope you're okay. Around today on this forum if you are

Dancingfish, thank you for sitting with me. I hope you're okay too? It was a powerful moment yes, admittedly it didn't stick around. But I joined a gym and actually managed to go without having a panic attack. He also didn't support me during that but just ignored me and accused me of peacocking. I have a feeling that j deserve better. But like many of us, our pasts make it really, really hard to truly believe that.

I hope you're both enjoying the sunshine ( if you have it)

Thank you both,
Nelll

[Nelll]

Hi everyone,

It's been a while.

I just wanted to pop in here and wish everyone well. Thinking of you all even if your new here and I dont know your story.

All the best
Nelll