Greetings

[MarkP]

Hello all, this is brand new to me and I'm hoping to find some sort of solace among my peers. So here's a little bit about my past. My troubles come from my mother. I was an only child and she was a young, single parent. She tried but the only way she knew how to raise me was from her upbringing by her narcissist mother. I wouldn't characterize my mother as a narcissist per se, though she does exhibit some of the symptoms. Rather than mostly ignoring me as her mother did, she obsessed over me. This along with an extreme anxiety about something dangerous or terrible happening to me made her think it quite reasonable to keep me inside almost all of the time. This meant I couldn't get away from her and I was often yelled at or belittled. I'm not sure why but I was often called dumb or an idiot or that I had a strange and messed up thought process. I spent my childhood believing those lies. Failed at school, didn't bother. Depressed and convinced I was an outcast that is exactly what came to be. Few friends, under developed social sills and bad grades. Eventually I found myself in the developmentally challenged classroom. Various tests and years later it turned out that I was smarter really than most of the kids in class and certainly my mother. Not trying to brag or anything, just smarter than average. The questions I would ask my mother were often science questions, which she didn't understand and resulted in the intelligence belittling. On top of that, there was the punishment which I'm not ready to talk about but has greatly affected my life as an adult, particularly in areas of relationships and sexuality. Hoping to find some support here, maybe similar experiences and coping strategies.

[Chessgirl]

Welcome! What you described is similar to my story in a lot of ways. My mother was a narcissist who hated me, had an emotionally incestuous relationship with my brother and made it her mission to break me as much as possible. She felt so threatened by my growth. Called me dumb, idiot, whore, leach, really you name it she probably said it. I believed what she said for a long time until I faced my childhood and the abuse I suffered. I’m doing better than ever but the abuse has effected every aspect of my life as well. My journey of healing may last a life time! I’m ok with that thought. I’m met some great people in here who are really like second family. I hope you find what you are looking for with us here! First post was very brave!

[Jonesy]

Hi MarkP

A very warm welcome to isurvive - glad you found us

[Eagle]

Hi MarkP

Welcome. Sorry for the reasons that brought you here, but glad you found us. I’ve only been here a month and I’ve found it’s a great place. People here are wonderful and it truly is a place to feel safe. Looking forward to getting to know you.

Eagle

[Kokoschka]

Hello MarkP and welcome

Kokoschka

[Crow]

Welcome to isurvive MarkP. Take your time, no need to share anything you don't want to, and certainly no hurry with anything. You'll find us to be a very supportive group of people.

Crow

[MarkP]

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome I appreciate the support.

[coconuts]

Welcome from us too!

[lorto]

Hi MarkP

Nice to meet you and welcome to the group:)

[ajei]

It's really good to meet you MarkP

ajei