Hello everyone, New member

[JoshWillRiseAgain]

Hello everyone,
I wasn't aware there are places like this on an open forum. I've visited other forums for sports, Jeeps, hunting and so forth to gather knowledge on my hobbies. Those are the best places to get ideas and information from people who have the same interests as you do. I was doing research with a rehab consultant and we came across this forum. I decided to join so I can talk about things I've never talked about in depth to others. I read some of the other posters on here and I feel like maybe I don't really belong here. My past is with my father, he was a great dad until he got injured at work and started taking prescription pain pills. The addiction started slowly then it became very noticeable. The constant arguing with my mom, not being a dad for my younger brother and I. He'd mentally abuse us, telling us we won't amount to anything in our lives. He would break my moms beautiful fish tanks that she loved so much just to hurt the ones he loved. When he would run out of his drugs, things would get really bad. We fought so much, my brother and I would wake up and just leave the house and not come back home til night time. I couldn't wait to go to school just so I didn't have to be at home. I could go on and on, but I"ll stop here for now. I'm not sure if the past has lead to where I'm at today and was a cause of some bad decisions I've made or not but I want to find out, I need to find out. Thanks for listening. J

[Chessgirl]

I’m so sorry you experienced such horror growing up. No child deserves that. My parents were alcoholics so I grew up with that and when I became an adult, I had several relationships with addicts/alcoholics. I know how tragic it can be for everyone involved. I’m glad you found this place! I think you will find the support, comfort and understanding here that you deserve !
Chessgirl

[Crow]

Hi JoshWillRiseAgain,

Welcome to isurvive.
You said this;

I feel like maybe I don't really belong here.

I'd say you do belong here
We've all got different experiences and different stories, all unique but all connected in that there was abuse.
I read somewhere early on in my healing that often we ask the question 'was it really abuse?' and the answer I read was that in most cases if we have to ask that question then what we experienced wasn't right, and likely was abuse.
What you have described in your post sounds like it to me.

I'm not sure if the past has lead to where I'm at today and was a cause of some bad decisions I've made or not but I want to find out, I need to find out.

You've made a great step by taking the decision to try and find out. We are here listening and here to help you work through this.

Crow

[Shirongnl]

Hi Joshwillriseagain,
You are 100% welcome here thos forum is for plenty of different things and no matter what you experienced it wasnt what you should have experienced at a young age.
You deserved a normal happy childhood and you were prevemted from that like lots of us here.
It doesnt matter how your past differs from mine I am here to talk if you need it.
I hope you are ok and get to know some of the people here.

[Jonesy]

Hi JoshWillRiseAgain

I extend a warm welcome to isurvive - you have a place here with us for sure

[evyn]

Hi JoshWillRiseAgain,

I am so glad you found this community and decided to reach out. That was a strong, brave decision. Congratulations. And you are most definitely welcome here.

Evyn

[lorto]

You definitely came to the right place:). I have only been here a few days and I can say the people here are so amazing.

Hi and Welcome JoshWillRiseAgain:)

[Bird]

JoshWillRiseAgain,

That's such a lovely nickname. Welcome!

[Jonesy]

Hi JoshWillRiseAgain

Just checking in to see how things are going