Finally talking

[Acacia]

Hi
I am new to Isurvive and I wish I had sought help earlier.
I was 11 when I was kidnapped and abused by a man who was dating my Aunty. It has taken me 31 years to open up to a psychologist through my works eap program and she suggested I talk online which led me to isurvive.

31 years keeping a secret has really paid a toll on my life. Especially my love life. Or lack thereof.

My hope is to find someone or many someone’s I can connect with. I have a 3yo and I want to make sure I am the best mother I can be.

Can I ask has anyone gone this long before talking and did u tell your family? I am really struggling, I kind of want to tell my mum but I don’t want her to feel bad or take responsibility.

Hope everyone had a good day.

From acacia, (location removed).

[Jonesy]

Hi Acacia

A warm welcome to isurvive. It's not uncommon for survivors to wait an incredibly long time before opening up about their past and we each take a different path. Hopefully writing here will help you sort out the direction that's best for you.

[Acacia]

Thanks Jonesy

[coconuts]

Welcome and sorry for the reasons.
Many of us have waited. I didnt speak up until i was 36 And even then barely. For me talking to family was me trying to determine cost versus benefit. I decided not to. I do not believe it would help my relationships or situation. I also havent had the best of luck sharing in general, but thats me. Talking to a therapist has been a huge help for me.

Coconuts

[Serenity]

Hi and welcome, Acacia.

With care,
Serenity

[Acacia]

Thank u serenity

Coconuts that is how I am feeling. The cost doesn’t out weigh the benefits. I know she would be heart broken to hear about it but it would explain a few things about why I am the way I am.

As soon as I spoke the words I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders so I am hoping being able to chat with all of the lovely people on here will also help shift a little more of that weight that’s been holding me down for so many years.

[coconuts]

I know speaking my truth lifted a large weight for me. For me personally that wasnt enough. I needed professional help. I need someone to help guide the incorrect thinking pattwrns created by abuse. To point out unhealthy internal dialogue that lead to actions not in my best interest or that drag down my self worth. That said. The relief is tremendous when people kindly respond with compassion.

Coconuts

[Acacia]

I agree coconuts. My free psychology sessions through work has pretty much said it may take me years of therapy to get through the abuse. I’ll just take it one step at a time.