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katluvr · Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 5:09 pm Post subject: religious *Trigger*

My dearest little Kat,

I've only just realized that you are in there - crying and begging for me to listen to you.
I've buried you for so long.
You don't have to cry anymore, I will listen to you and I will never leave you again.
I never wanted to be a parent, but oh how you need one right now.
The parents God gave us did the best that they could and someday, with my help, you will understand this and forgive them their flaws.
You are wonderful just the way you are.
You are so smart and loving.
You have a warm and caring heart.
You are wise beyond your years - an old soul in a child's body.
I'm sorry I've hurt you by not nurturing you as I should have, but that is changing day by day.
I can hear you now, I feel your feelings and most of all, I LOVE YOU more than anyone has ever loved you in your life.
You are safe...we are safe.
You remember how to play, how to find joy in little things. Please teach me to do this again, I've forgotten how.
We will make this journey of healing together and we will come out the other side happy and whole, I promise you this.

((((((((((Kat))))))))))

Athene · Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 7:34 pm Post subject:

Dear little Athene,
I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. Here's a warm hug and some hot cocoa and chicken soup and a warm blankie. I'm not going to leave you or ignore you or yell at you. I'm going to sit right here with you until you feel better. And there are lots of other people besides me who care about you and sending you good thoughts. You are safe.
((((((little Athene))))))
Love,
Your adult

Bella87 · Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 8:23 am Post subject:

Bella,

I am so angry! He should not have treated you like that! We're leaving here. It's not safe enough for you. I'm taking you to a safe place, a new house, no one will be mean to you here. I'll protect you. You are so precious.
_________________
Bella

"When it comes to damage there is no real difference between physical, sexual and emotional abuse. All that distinguishes one from the other is the abuser's choice of weapons." -Andrew Vachss

glowworm · Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 1:08 pm Post subject:

Dear Little Glow,

I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being so wise, for seeing straight through all the crap when i just become lost in it and confused... you are always clear. You know exactly what is right for us. I'm sorry i'm finding it such a struggle to do what you want, what you need. I'm sorry i haven't been valuing you as highly as you deserve. I trust your judgement on people.. you are so intuitive. You were right about M and about N, they are lost in their own minds. I trust you, i believe you.

Please help me, Little Glow. Help me to face the truth about people, to see them as they really are, not as what i want them to be. I believe in you... i guess i just don't believe in me enough to think anyone will ever really care.. that's why i keep going back.

Thank you for reminding me that we deserve better than this. You are so special to me, Little one, and i will no longer give you away to just anyone. We deserve to be with someone healthy, open and loving, who is not lost in the dark... most importantly.. we deserve to be with someone who doesn't scare you. I believe you now, i'm sorry i didn't before. You were right all along.

Never again, Little one. If a man scares us - that means there is something wrong with HIM. NOT anything wrong wtih you, as he wants me to think.

I'm so sorry. I love you. I believe you. I trust you.

All my love
Big Glowworm
_________________
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

sj · Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 10:27 am Post subject:

for all of us.
a gift to see it in writing

we can help each other
we are safe now
we dont have to hide, but you can if you want to
we have each other
we are loved

---------

thank you o.p. for such a lovely safe place of sharing.

lindamine · Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 4:25 pm Post subject:

you are still so sad and do not understand
you just want to go out and play
you are fun
you are devilish-in a fun way
you have such a great imagination
lets go slide down that rainbow
you resist

Willy's Starshine · Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 12:52 am Post subject:

Young Willy's Starshine,

It's okay.
You can be proud of yourself.
You've come a long way.
You'll make it through.
You didn't fail.

Love,
Me
_________________
Starshine

Athene · Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 11:26 pm Post subject:

Dear Athene,

We did it! We went to the doctor and we were brave!

You felt scared but you trusted me and I took care of you. It was different from than that other time when you had no choice, this time you were allowed to say your feelings and I heard your feelings and acknowledged them, and I gave you the chance to say no or stop, and I didn't pressure or push, and we decided that doing this thing was a good thing.

Now I understand the next few days might be hard. Go easy on yourself, and I promise I will go easy on us too. Let's do something fun together to treat ourselves for doing so well, and remember it's okay to feel whatever you feel. You are strong and amazing!

Thanks for coming with me today.

Your adult self

there · Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 5:08 pm Post subject:

dear little there,
you are so smart, and so much fun....
you will be all your life....
when you grow up, it might feel like others
have all the power and the rights,
but that's not true.
I see you and you are all we hoped for.
And more!
I'm so proud of you, and so glad you are you!

sensitive warrior · Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:43 am Post subject:

Dear young one, (me),
I am so very sorry for all you suffered.
You didn't deserve it.
I feel your intense sadness sometimes...and want to comfort you.

I feel your rage sometimes, as you squirm and fight inside me...and I want to tell you it is safe to be angry now...he can't hurt you anymore...and I can take care of you.

I hear your screams inside of me(so loud I think if they came out the world could hear...yet sometimes come out barely a whisper)....they are deep inside, struggling so hard to be heard....I am finally listening....so are some other people. And I finally told what he did to you...you would be proud. I am trying to let them out, but they have been held in so long, there is a wall that blocks them coming out a lot of the time.

I am so sorry about the way I've treated you...all the SI and other dangerous stuff I've done...you didn't deserve it...I didn't know any other ways....but I am learning. It was the best I could do then...I am doing better now...I felt your pride when I went to change our name all by myself and didn't get lost.

I see the desperation you've always felt and the terror you feel in really growing up fully. I can't promise I'll do it perfectly, and I am so scared but I am working my butt off to get us a better life...one we've only dreamed of and gave up on a long time ago. We are finally getting there though!
I am proud of you and think I finally love you...i have compassion for you as I see the snapshots of the bad memories and what you suffered...And you have lived a nightmarish life as a result...it wasn't your fault....I am finally learning to care for you and see the good in you that I think other people always saw, and we couldn't.
_________________
SENSITIVE SOUL BUT STRONGER THAN THEM!

cant trust love · Posted: Sat Feb 13, 2010 11:37 pm Post subject:

Dear little Cant trust love,

you are me and i am you
i will keep seeking to find your light
and when we, together, are ready
we will find the love of 'us'
and you will shine inside me

thank you little ctl, you are my heart
thank you for your patience and understanding
thank you for holding our seed of hope all these years

with the Love, Protection, and Honor a child deserves,
I hug you until You need to run and hide until you trust me more
You are wise
You are Heart
You are Beautiful
Just as you are

your mom
_________________
I WILL find ME

glowworm · Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 10:41 am Post subject:

Dear Little Glowworm

Thank you for leading me home. You are brave, you are wise, you are strong. And now... we are finally free! I am so glad i have you with me. I love your light!

All my love,
Big Glowworm
_________________
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

cant trust love · Posted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 4:49 am Post subject: Religious *Triggers*

Dear little ctl

you are my sunshine ♪
my only sunshine ♪
keep me connected ♪
when my heart is gray ♪

you'll always know dear ♪
how much i love you ♪
specially when tears ♪
are in your way♪♪♪♪

i see you little ctl ......stay close when you can, and fly when you have to...... i will always come find you and love you ...... especially in the midst of the chaos in our heads ............. hold my hand and pinch me if i do something wrong ............ i know you hold all the memoies and know more stuf than me ........... i know you have a hand on God and you other hand out for me ........ i want to stay connected to you... you are my singing sunshine

Love, Big CTL (learning to be your best mom)

rabbit · Posted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 4:56 am Post subject:

Little girl Rabbit:

You are so loving and you try so hard to do the right thing. You couldn't know how wrong those people were. I will cuddle you and help you to know how very brave you are.

It is all coming right now, little Rabbit!
_________________
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well."

there · Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2010 7:02 pm Post subject:

to grade school there....
you are so important to me....
i want to know you...
i want you to know me...
you have waht it wah what it takes
you have all you need,
you have so much strength,
courage, intelligence, talent.

you have the right to succeed,
even if your mother didn't....
even if she wanted you to fail...
even if she wanted you to follow in her footsteps
to some place you never wanted or planned to go...

you have the right to try , to make mistakes,
and to try again....
never stop trying, and never stop succeeding.....