Get me out of here
A Non-Profit Organization for Child Abuse Survivors Learning to Thrive

Books You May Find Helpful

Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse

by Mic Hunter

(Ballantine Books, 1990)

This empathetic gem covers survivor and recovery issues, and is one of most widely recognized and acclaimed books for male survivors. The first half of the book defines sexual abuse, helps the reader to understand what it is and how it affects people’s lives, and then discusses the possibilities for and methods of recovery. The second half features male survivors telling their stories in their own words.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse

by Jennifer J. Freyd (Harvard University Press February 6, 1998)

This book lays bare the logic of forgotten abuse. Psychologist Jennifer Freyd’s breakthrough theory explaining this phenomenon shows how psychogenic amnesia not only happens but, if the abuse occurred at the hands of a parent or caregiver, is often necessary for survival. Freyd’s book will give embattled professionals, beleaguered abuse survivors, and the confused public a new, clear understanding of the lifelong effects and treatment of child abuse.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

Beyond Betrayal

by Richard B. Gartner (May 2005)

“…compassionate book that clearly lays out the healing process for men who were hurt or abused as children. Whether you were abused by a mother, a camp counselor, a neighborhood boy, or a priest, Beyond Betrayal will give you the tools you need to reclaim your life and move on. If you′re going to take one book with you on the healing journey, this should be the one.” –Laura Davis, coauthor of The Courage to Heal

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon 

 

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A GUIDE AND MAP FOR RECOVERING FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

by Pete Walker (Azure Coyote Publishing December 18, 2013)

This book is a practical, user-friendly self-help guide to recovering from the lingering effects of childhood trauma, and to achieving a rich and fulfilling life. It is copiously illustrated with examples of my own and my clients’ journeys of recovering. This book is also for those who do not have Cptsd but want to understand and help a loved one who does.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

Dear Little Ones – Dissociative Identity Disorder for Young Alters

by Jade Miller (2015)

This is a beautiful little book with a powerful message; easy to read and understand with soft, non-threatening illustrations.

Available – Amazon or USA Amazon

 

First Person Plural: My Life as a Multiple

by Cameron West Ph.D. (Moonglow Books December 19, 2013)

In the classic New York Times Bestseller, FIRST PERSON PLURAL, West offers a poignant account of his efforts to understand the workings of his fragmented mind and to heal his damage spirit as he desperately hangs on to the slender thread that connects him to his wife, Rikki, his son Kyle, and some semblance of a regular life.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

Haunted Marriage: Overcoming the Ghosts of Your Spouse’s Childhood Abuse

by Clark E. Barshinger, Lojan E. La Rowe, Andres T. Tapia

This book is written from a husband’s point of view, and is an excellent resource in helping your spouse and you, deal with past childhood abuse.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

Healing Insights

by Jeanne McElvaney (April 18, 2013)

This book is like a flashlight shining into the shadows that followed us out of our abuse. It reveals new possibilities. It invites us to shape our future with our dreams so we are no longer driven by responses we learned in our childhood experience.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

Healing The Shame That Binds You

by John Bradshaw (Health Communications, 1988 and 2006)

This book deals with the effects and causes of “toxic shame”, and how we can escape the self-destructive cycle that accompanies the dark shame from our pasts. For survivors of sexual or emotional abuse, this book provides insight and solutions to break the shame spiral.

Available — UK: Amazon or USA: Amazon

 

I Am More Than One: How Women with Dissociative Identity Disorder Have Found Success in Life and Work

by Jane Hyman (McGraw-Hill August 29, 2006)

People with dissociative identity disorder (formerly called multiple personality disorder) are widely thought to be highly dysfunctional. This fascinating book debunks this myth. I Am More Than One gives you an inside look at women who have achieved success while living with the condition. Their uplifting stories shed light on a misunderstood but manageable condition—and point the way toward an active, functional, and fulfilling life.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

I Can’t Get Over It, A Handbook for Trauma Survivors

by Aphrodite Matsakis, Ph.D. (1996)

This work guides and supports readers through the healing process of recovering from post-traumatic stress disorder resulting from crime, accidents, rape, family violence, and sexual abuse. It seeks to help in coping with memories and emotions, such as anger, grief, survivor guilt, and recognizing related problems, such as depression, compulsive behavior and low self-esteem. The support this book offers aims to help identify the triggers that may set off flashbacks, anxiety attacks, and other systems of PTSD, relieve secondary wounding caused by other’s blame and insensitivity, and gain a sense of empowerment and hope for the future.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness

by Peter A. Levine PhD (North Atlantic Books October 30, 2012)

In this culmination of his life’s work, Peter A. Levine draws on his broad experience as a clinician, a student of comparative brain research, a stress scientist and a keen observer of the naturalistic animal world to explain the nature and transformation of trauma in the body, brain and psyche. In an Unspoken Voice is based on the idea that trauma is neither a disease nor a disorder, but rather an injury caused by fright, helplessness and loss that can be healed by engaging our innate capacity to self-regulate high states of arousal and intense emotions. Enriched with a coherent theoretical framework and compelling case examples, the book elegantly blends the latest findings in biology, neuroscience and body-oriented psychotherapy to show that when we bring together animal instinct and reason, we can become more whole human beings.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon 

 

Incest to Where?

by Ruth Toby – Authorhouse (November 30, 2005)

INCEST TO WHERE? Is a true story of a Jewish woman who was brought up in a very strict orthodox home who, against her wish, is struggling to survive. In her agony, and confused judgment she continued to inflict hurt on herself by not knowing which path to follow in different stages of her life; she was ill-equipped with the necessary preparation for her life. All she had to learn from was her instinct. Her vulnerability stood out like a sore thumb for the unscrupulous to exploit. People, including the very famous, contributed in the dehumanization process of a fellow human being. Armed with a unique philosophy of life, born out of her experience, she hopes to confront reality and make meaning out of it. The wherewithal to achieve this is through her music. As long as the breath remains in her, she hopes for a better life.

Available — UK: Amazon (paperback) or USA: Amazon

 

Iron Man Family Outing

by Rick Beldon

This is a very amazing book of poetry written by men, each poem powerful or tragic but full of hope.

This book widely used in the United States and internationally by therapists, counselors, and men’s groups as an aid in the exploration of masculine psychology and men’s issues, especially for men who are adult survivors of childhood abuse.

Website: http://www.rickbelden.com

 

It Wasn’t Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion

by Beverly Engel (New Harbinger Publications January 2, 2015)

Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it’s important for you to know that it wasn’t your fault.

In this gentle guide, therapist and childhood abuse expert Beverly Engel presents a mindfulness and compassion-based therapeutic approach to help you overcome the debilitating shame that keeps you tied to the past. By following the step-by-step exercises in this book, you’ll gain a greater understanding of the root cause of your shame. And by cultivating compassion toward yourself, you will begin to heal and move past your painful experiences.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

It’s OK to Tell, A Story of Hope and Recovery

by Lauren Book (Prospecta Press March 8, 2011)

This memoir is a book about hope in the face of extreme adversity. While it deals with a tremendously sensitive and “dark” subject, the hope that it delivers to readers carries an everlasting positive impact. Her story will empower readers to address abuse issues in their own lives and move them to understand the resulting deep emotional matrix that results from abuse and the incredible power of an individual’s ability to recover and embrace life.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

**Religious Triggers**

Redeeming Memories: A Theology of Healing and Transformation

by Flora Keshgegian

Redeeming Memories seeks to develop remembering as a theme and construct for understanding the work of salvation. It begins with the conviction that if Christian faith is to be effective in responding to contemporary challenges, particularly from those who suffer the consequences of evil, abuse, and oppression, it must take such challenges seriously and develop a fully historical understanding of memory and salvation which seems to empower those who suffer. In doing so, Christianity will find not only challenge, but resources for understanding the dynamics of remembering, transformation, and salvation.

Available — UK: Amazon or USA: Amazon

 

Safe Passage to Healing: A Guide for Survivors of Ritual Abuse

by Christine Oksana (2001)

Helpful book broken into sections on steps of recovery, such as early beginnings of healing, body memories and full memories, dissociation, safety and healing. Many resources are included within the book that is applicable for survivors of other complex traumas as well.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

Say It Out Loud: Revealing and Healing the Scars of Sexual Abuse

by Roberta Dolan, (Published October 2014)

Roberta Dolan shares concrete healing strategies for survivors of sexual abuse, offering fellow survivors the inspiration to begin their own healing journey, as well as an encouraging message: the scars of abuse can be healed.

Available — UK: AmazonUK (paperback) and Kindle or USA: Amazon and Kindle

 

Scared Selfless: My Journey from Abuse and Madness to Surviving and Thriving 

by Michelle Stevens (G.P. Putnam’s Sons March 21, 2017)

In this harrowing tale, Michelle, who was inspired to help others heal by becoming a psychotherapist, sheds light on the all-too-real threat of child sexual abuse, its subsequent psychological effects, and the best methods for victims to overcome their ordeals and, ultimately, thrive. Scared Selfless is both an examination of the extraordinary feats of the mind that are possible in the face of horrific trauma as well as Michelle’s courageous testament to their power.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon 

 

Strong at the Heart

by Carolyn Lehman

It hurts children and teens in profound ways. But people can heal—and go on to lead rich and interesting lives. In healing, they found unexpected strengths. They’ve chosen to tell their stories and be photographed for my book, so that you can see how real teens and adults heal from sexual trauma.

Available — UK: Amazon or USA: Amazon

Website: http://www.strongattheheart.com/

 

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. (Penguin Books September 8, 2015)

Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments—from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal—and offers new hope for reclaiming lives.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

The Courage to Be Me: A story of courage, self compassion and hope after sexual abuse

by Dr. Nina Burrowes, (Published March 2014)

This illustrated book shares ideas and thoughts on how to rebuild one’s life after sexual abuse. “Join a group of women as they share their stories of courage, self-compassion and hope after rape and sexual abuse. Find out how coming together and learning about recovery helped them on their journey. Using a combination of illustration, storytelling and research data The courage to be me has been written to send a message of hope to the millions of people who are living with the impact of rape or sexual abuse.

Available — UK: AmazonUK (paperback) and Kindle or USA: Amazon

 

The Courage to Heal, A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis (2008)

The Courage to Heal is an inspiring, comprehensive guide that offers hope and a map of the healing journey to every woman who was sexually abused as a child—and to those who care about her. Although the effects of child sexual abuse are long-term and severe, healing is possible.

Weaving together personal experience with professional knowledge, the authors provide clear explanations, practical suggestions, and support throughout the healing process. Readers will feel recognized and encouraged by hundreds of moving first-person stories drawn from interviews and the authors’ extensive work with survivors, both nationally and internationally.

Available — UK: Amazon or USA: Amazon (paperback or audio)

 

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & Tolerance 

by Matthew McKay (ReadHowYouWant December 28, 2012)

By a distinguished team of authors, this workbook offers readers unprecedented access to the core skills of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), formerly available only through complicated professional books and a small handful of topical workbooks. These straightforward, step-by-step exercises will bring DBT core skills to thousands who need it.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon 

 

The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook

by Deborah Bray Haddock M. Ed, M.A., L.P (2001)

The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook serves as a much-needed bridge for communication between the dissociative individual and therapists, family, and friends who also have to learn to deal with the effects of this disorder.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

The Healing Years (Documentary)

by Kathy Barbini

This powerhouse of a film profiles three strong, vibrant survivors of child sexual abuse who convincingly tell us — once and for all — that we must take back our lives. This documentary banishes shame & celebrates women’s power.

Kathy is offering the film to surviviors at a discounted rate of $20 (plus shipping), it is on a DVD.

For ordering info:

Website: http://www.bigvoicepictures.com

Order via pay pal at http://www.bigvoicepictures.com/survivordiscount.html

or email us at: kathy@bigvoicepictures.com

or call 805-898-3696.

 

The Heart Too Long Suppressed: A Chronicle of Mental Illness

by Carol Hebald (Northeastern University Press May 4, 2001)

This beautifully crafted memoir tells of one woman’s spiral into mental illness from the late 1930s through the 1970s and the role hospitals and therapists played in that descent. She describes the frightening blur between reality and fantasy that fueled her childhood imagination, and recounts episodes of sexual and emotional abuse.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon 

 

The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment

by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman (1997), San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, ISBN: 0-7879-0870-3

The authors talk about dysfunctional families–those families in which the needs of the parents take precedence over the needs of the children. Some of the characteristics of such families include problems with feelings and communication, boundaries, decision making, and trust. The authors explain how adults who have grown up in emotionally abusive families can learn deal with the after-effects and go on to become the people they were meant to be.

Available – UK Amazon  or USA Amazon

 

The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook: A Guide to Healing, Recovery, and Growth

by Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D (2009)

This book provides a comprehensive understanding of the symptoms of PTSD and its causes. Principles of healing and different options are introduced along with offering many tools to help readers with managing symptoms and moving on from the affects of their trauma.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

The River of Forgetting: A Memoir of Healing from Sexual Abuse

by Jane Rowan (Ginger Cat/Booksmyth Press December 1, 2010)

“People don’t make up things like that for fun.” That’s what Jane Rowan’s therapist tells her when Jane reports fragmentary memories from her childhood that hint at sexual abuse. A busy, successful scientist, Jane at first fights the implications, but when vivid body-memories sweep through her, she finally has to admit that something indeed happened. As her mother is dying, Jane must decide whether to confront her. Meanwhile, bizarre harassment at work echoes the earlier trauma. Jane’s talented and unconventional therapist provides a lifeline of love and guidance; the intimate unfolding of this relationship is a central through-story. Gradually Jane learns deep trust both for her therapist and her own intuitions. Using creative arts to access her strength and aliveness, Jane reconciles with both her parents’ love and their betrayal. This deeply personal memoir invites the reader behind the closed doors of the therapist’s office and into the author’s journal and her very body. Jane’s tender story shows how we can use the challenges of painful childhood traumas to transform our lives with power and joy.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon 

 

The Survivor’s Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse

by Staci Haines (Cleis Press, 1999)

This book is a bible for survivors of sexual abuse who have determined that they have healing to do. It gives broad, detailed descriptions of the kinds of physical, emotional, and psychological problems that plague survivors, and explores how to work through these problems. It covers a range of sexual issues. Although the author tailors the book for women, it is useful for men too.

Available — UK: Amazon or USA: Amazon

 

This Tangled Web

by Kate Swift (Published 2010)

A collection of poetry and art on the subject of childhood sexual abuse written by the person who lived it and who now lives after it…the web is no longer so tangled and I certainly am not trapped by it. These poems are now yours to help you on your own journey. I am not totally ‘fixed’ but I am no longer totally broken.

Available — UK: Amazon (paperback) and Kindle or USA: Amazon and Kindle

 

The Unsayable: The Hidden Language of Trauma

by Annie Rogers (Ballantine BooksvJuly 31, 2007)

In her twenty years as a clinical psychologist, Annie Rogers has learned to understand the silent language of girls who will not–who cannot–speak about devastating sexual trauma. Abuse too painful to put into words does have a language, though, a language of coded signs and symptoms that conventional therapy fails to understand. In this luminous, deeply moving book, Rogers reveals how she has helped many girls find expression and healing for the sexual trauma that has shattered their childhoods.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon 

 

Those Are My Private Parts

by Diane Hansen

An excellent companion book on sexual abuse prevention to help parents teach a child that their body parts are theirs and NO one has the right to touch them or use them as part of a game or fun activity. This work is written from the eyes of a child – in a child friendly, easy to understand language – a difficult feat on a difficult subject.

Available — UK: Amazon or USA: Amazon and Kindle (English and Spanish)

 

Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society’s Betrayal of the Child

by Alice Miller (Farrar, Straus and Giroux October 15, 1998)

Originally published in 1984, Thou Shalt Not Be Aware explodes Freud’s notions of “infantile sexuality” and helps to bring to the world’s attention the brutal reality of child abuse, changing forever our thoughts of “traditional” methods of child-rearing. Dr. Miller exposes the harsh truths behind children’s “fantasies” by examining case histories, works of literature, dreams, and the lives of such people as Franz Kafka, Virginia Woolf, Gustave Flaubert, and Samuel Beckett. Now with a new preface by Lloyd de Mause and a new introduction by the author, Thou Shalt Not Be Aware continues to bring an essential understanding to the confrontation and treatment of the devastating effects of child abuse.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

by Susan Forward (Bantam January 2, 2002)

In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents — and discover a new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon 

 

Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence–From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

by Judith L. Herman (Basic Books July 7, 2015)

By placing individual experience in a broader political frame, Judith Herman argues that psychological trauma can be understood only in a social context. Drawing on her own research on incest, as well as on a vast literature on combat veterans and victims of political terror, she shows surprising parallels between private horrors like child abuse and public horrors like war. A new epilogue reviews what has changed–and what has not changed–over two decades. Trauma and Recovery is essential reading for anyone who seeks to understand how we heal and are healed.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon 

 

Victims No Longer: Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse

by Mike Lew

(Harper Collins, 1988)

A must-read for male survivors who want insight into their lives post-abuse. It describes all the most common problems facing abuse survivors, addresses masculinity issues and discusses recovery with an emphasis on counseling. Survivors’ descriptions of their lives accompany Lew’s text throughout the book.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma – The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experiences

by Peter Levine (1997)

From the author: “Waking the Tiger offers a new and hopeful vision of trauma. It views the human animal as a unique being, endowed with an instinctual capacity. It asks and answers an intriguing question–why are animals in the wild, though threatened routinely, rarely traumatized? By understanding the dynamics that make wild animals immune to traumatic symptoms, the mystery of human trauma is revealed. Waking the Tiger normalizes the symptoms of trauma and the steps needed to heal them. People are often traumatized by seemingly ordinary experiences. The reader is taken on a guided tour of the subtle, yet powerful impulses that govern our responses to overwhelming life events. To do this, it employs a series of exercises that help us focus on bodily sensations. Through a heightened awareness of these sensations trauma can be healed.”

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

What About Me? A Book for Men Helping Female Partners Deal with Childhood Sexual Abuse

by Grant Cameron

This book was written for men with female partners recovering from the trauma of childhood sexual abuse. The author shares from his own personal experiences in helping his wife deal with her abusive past.

Available in pdf format here: What About Me?

 

What Ever It Takes, God: The Most Difficult Things For Men To Survive

by John Oarc

Authorhouse (2006)

In this unique and true personal account of life after childhood traumas such as molestation, divorce, and mental abuse, the reader will be able to look inside the mind and life of the survivor. The reader will gain insight into the struggles one faces from childhood to adulthood after the trauma. This book courses through self-destruction, self-injurious behavior, self-help, and professional counseling. Experience life through the eyes of the survivor as only he can describe with true accuracy. Professionals have published regarding male molestation, but only a few survivors have written books concerning their life experiences, and these books stand alone. No one can accurately bring the content to life like the survivor, and this book undeniably stands alone in writing style and substance. Professional counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, and psych students can gain an enormous amount of clinical insight into male molestation from this book. Pastors, parents, significant others, family members, and survivors will be able to develop a vast amount of helpful information to assist in coping and healing. Child predators should also be able to understand the devastation that lay ahead of the victim; to see the true destruction that lay in wait for the child could be a deterrent and possibly save lives. This book discusses pornography, adultery, poor coping mechanisms, addictions, anxiety, depression, codependency, divorce, low self-esteem, and more in vivid detail, with the confidence that many may find hope and healing.

Available – UK Amazon or USA Amazon

 

Why Me?

by Sarah Burleton

This short memoir gives accounts of some of the horrific child abuse the author experienced and survived. This first book on the topic by Sarah Burleton made it to the New York Times best selling list.

Available – UK Amazon  or USA Amazon