Struggling

[Dumbfounded]

I'm struggling today. My daughter had an appointment with one of her T's yesterday. She has two that help her with different aspects of her abuse, they all work as a team. She disclosed some more information about her abuse and thoughts and (shes so strong) she wanted me to know some of it.

I struggle with not letting her know how much it upsets me that she went through so much. When I show emotion she kind of shuts down because she's trying to protect me from the bad. That's my job not hers and I kick myself even more.

I just can't seem to wrap my brain around why anyone would do the things to anyone, especially a child, that they did to her. Especially someone who she looked to for love and protection.

I don't know how to help her sometimes. I want her to feel comfortable about coming to me when she wants to ( she never has to if she doesnt want to) but I have a hard time holding back the sadness and anger when she does. This is a new journey for us. We are just starting out (only a little over a month now) and I know it gets a little easier to talk about it with help and direction as time goes by.

I don't even know if I'm asking for support or understanding or advise at this point. My mind is everywhere and nowhere.

[Jonesy]

Hi Dumbfounded

I don't know how to help her sometimes.

Oh I so hear you on this. I feel the exact same with my daughter when she is struggling. To feel helpless as a parent is the worst thing.
But? When they come to us? Just sitting and listening and letting them cry is priceless - even though we wish we could offer more.
Keep being her mama, just be... that's ok

[Dumbfounded]

Thanks Jonesy, I think I really needed to hear that.

[grandma in pain]

Dear Dumbfounded,

Please know that whenever you need to let your emotions out, you can do it here. I know it's difficult holding our emotions back whenever our children hurt so much, but being her safe place, her soft spot to come to where she knows that it's okay for her to let it all out, that will mean everything to both of you.

I noticed that you haven't been on here for awhile. I hope that you have only taken a short break and that you haven't left the group. I also want you to know that I wrote a post directly to you and 3 other members, and that I also finally responded to each of you in one of my other posts where you had responded to me

[Blondie]

I know what it's like to watch someone be in pain and watch someone go through something and you can't do anything about it. I haven't been through your exact situation, but I have had to stand by and watch people I care about struggle and I felt helpless and very stressed out. I'm very sorry you're going through this.